Here I go again. Day 1

I'm going to add a block it's not the money it's the fact that I feel like it's cheating.

Cheating?

Hi day@atime

What I mean is in the past when I've stopped its been without any blocks. So I feel like when I put a block on my iPad I'm cheating by not gambling because I can't rather than with will power if this makes sense.

So yesterday before I gambled again I tried to open an online account with one of the big 5 betting company's. It said I had had an account with them before so I emailed them and said please close my account as I have a gambling problem. I was told don't worry you have self excluded yourself it's on your account. Then when I get up this morning this company had sent me 4 emails saying yourself exclusion period is up feel free to play on our bingo,sports book,games and casino accounts. This is disgusting they are trying to temp a gambling addict to gamble even though I asked them to self exclude me. I emailed them to complain and was told because That I would have got these emails anyway. That's funny because I haven't had an email from them in years now all of a sudden by counicidence they day I self exclude I recieve 4 emails temping me to gamble. I think this is disgusting.

Theres nothing wrong with accepting will power alone will not work for you. In fact it is the key to recovery

Hi Chase,

We can never had underestimate the power of this addiction, we need every barrier in place if we 100% want to keep abstaining, it's not being weak, it's being strong. And it sure is not cheating

Emails and texts I am finding come through every day and these are sites I have never played on I just delete them immediately.

They come from our phone history and our emails,.

There is a triangle used on this forum

Time

Money

Location.

If you take one of these away it's impossible to gamble,

I have used the triangle since day 1, and my partner in crime my laptop, was confiscated immediately after I told my OH, lol,

and even 9 months on I don't have the password for him comp, these are all deterrents so I can't play, there are a few different barriers and blocks, that can be used, we are all different in how we go through our recovery, and honestly it's not cheating.

Well done for admitting you slipped, but you have not failed at all, Recovery is not easy, we need all the barriers and guards up that we can get.

Hope this helps,

Suzanne xx

Good day today. No gambling and went out shopping with my daughter.

Gambled last night however my daughter has downloaded k9. So now I'm unable to gamble thank god. So I'm starting feb 1st my non gambling life.

Morning Chase,

Well done on not giving up giving up, you can do this

Take care

Suzanne xx

Since my grandad died in December I have gambled 5 times. I'm really struggling to get a hold on it this time. I've now put a block on my iphone so I won't be able to gamble at home. Really don't understand why I keep letting myself down all I do know is I have no control at the moment. I've had long gambling free periods before so I know I can do this. I wonder if the fact that I keep winning is what is making me continue to gamble. I'm really feeling down.

Chase, you are here so that means you haven't given up on giving up which is great 🙂

It's time to let go of your fears about what is cheating & how you should be able to recover & start taking support from anywhere you can get it! You are still dealing with your grief (maybe a bit of counselling could help) & whilst gambling may momentarily make you forget about life, ultimately, it is stripping you of it! Addiction is making you gamble because despite what you type you are not winning, you are sad! This isn't about the money for you now, it is about getting your life back for you & you family & time is more precious than money! Hopefully you have all the blocks in place @ home now so this should help you with the urges whilst you work out things to do to keep you busy!

You can do this - ODAAT

Thanks odaat for the encouragement. O2 promised to put a block on my phone which isn't on yet so going to chase them up this morning.

So I'm at day3 Just woke up and feel a lot more positive. So yesterday even though O2 promised to put a block on my iphone it didn't work even though I asked for it 4 times. I spent the whole day yesterday researching ways to block iPhones ipad and then by chance found out bt home hubs have parental controls which my daughter set up to block gambling so any device which connects to my wifi is not allowed to use it to gamble. Now I know that if you live alone it would be difficult to set it up (you could ask a close friend/family) I'm thrilled As all my gambling is done at home. Plus I haven't got a kids browser anymore ( even though I've felt like it's all I decerve ) and best of all if your gambling on Apple products it's difficult to get a block for these items, and it's free.

Having a peaceful day today the fact that I can't gamble makes me not worry about if I'm going to gamble. It's not ideal I would much rather do it with will power alone but at the moment I need the help and at least I'm not gambling.

Well done chase, on 3 days,

Keep going and stay strong.

Suzanne xx