Here we go.........

Been reading through some of your diaries and posts and i'm feeling really hopeful that this could be a turning point for me.

I'm feeling that positivity again that i know will plummet at some point as the urges take over, but for now i am revelling in my rebirth!

Why oh why did i find myself saying "oh i've earned some spins after today!" or "once i've cleaned upstairs i'll put a tenner on" I was rewarding myself but losing money???!!! Ridiculous!

So annoyed with myself 🙁

Hi Lisa

Welcome to the site - an invaluble place where you will find lots of support and advice :). Make sure you visit often as you will find it helps immensly.

Dont be annoyed, there nothing to be annoyed about. In fact be proud that you've indentified a potential problem. Lots of people, including myself, took years of gambling before realising that enough was enough and it was time to draw a line and tackle the problem. It sounds to me that you havent been gambling too long and as you said yourself the situation (financially) is easily fixable.

Lots of willpower will be needed, I would suggest coming straight on here when you get any urges. Put your thoughts down and read other peoples stories and all of the advice and support.

Wishing you all the best.

Mark

Thankyou Mark 🙂

I'm glad I have recognised the problem early too as the rate of acceleration would have left me and my family up the creek without a paddle rather quickly.

Just made myself a cuppa and on my way back to the laptop found myself thinking "havent i done well by going to Gamcare - i'll treat myself and put a tenner on!" NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Been awake all night worrying about how today will go.

Fingers crossed for me and everyone else to have a bet free Tuesday 🙂 xx

Zally,

Thank you for visiting and positing on my diary. It is a reminder to myself how much money i have lost how much shame i have inside and what I have put my family through. 10 pounds or 1000 pounds the outcome is the same just varies in depth of debt we eventually end up in. I really hope you do what you say and come here when you have urges to gamble. I went almost 3 weeks gambling free then had some bad news and went to the trigger and decided to waste so much money and get lost in my bubble... just stupid. I am a compulsive gambler always will be but i need the support of gamcare community to get me through such days. Please come by and rant away it's better than sticking a tenner down. Congrats on the K9 something i have yet to do. I'm really looking in to gamblock it will cost me 100$ but will save me thousands in the long run. I am back now after 8 weeks of hell just trying to recoup some losses but failed as usual and put even bigger dent into my huge amount of debt. It's really not pleasurable now for me 10 pounds gambling is heaven because i started there, now its 1000s a day. Please listen to me, soon 10 pounds will be 50 then 100 so STOP now, you have caught it early and that is fantastic news.

All the best CasinoRoyaloser.

Thanks for posting and thanks for the welcome 🙂

The escalation of the habit is the main motivator for me.

What started as a fiver once a week far too quickly became a 700 quid a week obsession.

I have neglected my husband my children my finances and myself and it needs nipping in the bud.

The scariest thing is how hard it is to stop.

Casino, you have had a bump in the road and turned to betting for comfort/solace but to have gone so long without gambling only proves that you can do it 🙂

Thanks for posting and thanks for the welcome 🙂

The escalation of the habit is the main motivator for me.

What started as a fiver once a week far too quickly became a 700 quid a week obsession.

I have neglected my husband my children my finances and myself and it needs nipping in the bud.

The scariest thing is how hard it is to stop.

Casino, you have had a bump in the road and turned to betting for comfort/solace but to have gone so long without gambling only proves that you can do it 🙂

no idea why it double posted oops!

right i messed up again got one of those tantalising emails offering me free bonus blah blah blah, i deposited ten lost it in 2 mins.

dont know why i even bothered its so silly!. Got my friend to come over and change the K9 filter passwords on my laptops so that i cant bypass it anymore.

i know i can do this and really dont want to feel so ashamed of myself anymore.

morning diary and morning all. Back to work for me today thank god as I need the routine desperately. Spent 3 hours last night contacting every casino site i have ever joined or considered joining asking for permanent exclusions hoping that it will deter me from trying to open further accounts. will do some more this evening i think as its kept me really focussed and determined.

For the first time in ages I sat and ate breakfast with my boys this morning instead of sitting on the laptop gambling. It felt good and one of them even said "Mummy why are you eating breakfast with us?" which totally broke my heart.

The next week is going to be a tough one for two reasons - firstly the gambling I know i need to stay focussed! secondly I will find out if I have an interview for a position at work in september. (im a support teacher and on a temp contract so have to reapply for the next school year). Its very much on my mind. Keeping fingers crossed.

As someone said on my intro post (thankyou hun) I WILL WIN TODAY I WILL NOT PLAY!

Have a good day all x

Hi Zally

Good positive start to the day well done

One day at a time and you will win today because you are not playing today

Best wishes Suzannex

so far good 🙂 been at work all day, came home with the kids, sat and did homework with them, tidied up the house, did a load of washing cleaned the patio down (we have a large dog) and i've cooked us all a nice dinner to sit down and eat all together. I know my tricky time is looming though.............

Once the kids are in bed and hubby is in his office working (often until late at night) i get bored and the urges are strongest.

Wil go back online excluding myself from sites again as that really helped me yesterday. I will not gamble!

Well I kept away from the dreaded sites and spent ages un subscribing from spam emails advertising gambling sites and excluded myself from a few more casinos that I found.

To treat myself and my amazing hubby I bought us tickets for comiccon in July. It feels so nice to buy something that is a treat and not just me selfishly throwing money away.

Here's to tomorrow free from gambling.

nighty nite x

Well done Lisa - take one day at a time, they will mount up sooner than you think. The longer you go the more determination you will have not to let your guard down and end up back at 'day 1'

Mark

Good morning day 2!

Thankyou for your support Mark, it means so much 🙂

I sat with my children having breakfast again chatting about the day ahead and what they would like to do at the weekend. We laughed and joked without a care in the world and it was lovely but sad at the same time knowing how long I have chosen to miss these moments in favour of gambling.

I am feeling strong today and hope that this feeling lasts me long enough to break the cycle.

Have a fab day everybody and keep winning!

Lisa x

Hey zally and thank you for your post,

Starting the road at the same time I will follow your posts with interest.... I too work in education and that can bring daily stresses.... keep focussed on yoir goals and keep posting with such great honesty.... it will help... its a.long road but lets reach day 30 together... what a journey that will be...

As always dream today.... tommorrow is to live....

Dream alive...

🙂 🙂