Here we go again......... Another relapse.

Keep up the good work Liam

Hi everyone, thanks for the positive encouragement. Day 8 and still on the straight and now narrow. As the days go by the urges seem to dissipate but I'm still conscious of the future, I know all it takes is one moment of weakness and the consquences can be devastating setting us back another year or so into debt repayments, which is why I continue to bring my troughs here.

Just another day in paradise at work till 6 then try to squeeze in a bit of job hunting till 5 a side at half 8. Not much else to report really just checking in.

All the Best

Liam

Hi guys, end of Day 9 and nothing to report. I'm starting to run out of things to say about gambling and the hold it has had on my life, which is good. The urges have more or less faded completely and I rarely think or want to think about gambling.

I know 9 days isn't a long period of time but I feel that I have disciplined myself In to mentally blocking gambling out of my life like it doesn't exist anymore, any creeping thoughts of temptation merely make me think about how miserable it had made me, the feelings of anguish, disgust and even suicide which I used to have almost daily.

Gambling is dead to me, and so help me it will stay that way if it's the last thing I ever do, I will no longer let it control my life with its motives of greed and selfishness.

You make your own destiny, I will no longer be a slave to it,

All the best

Liam

Hi Liam

Well done on 9 days.

By making that right choice everyday you will win everyday.

Suzanne xx

Hi all.

Liam here, just to keep you updated on my situation. I was doing so well in fighting this until Saturday football day where the 'it's only a few quid bet thoughts got the better of me'.

Anyway one thing lead to another and come Tuesday I'm back to online roulette and down and out, 1000 of my own money and 1000 of the banks money gone. Money that I had worked hard in the past week not too touch.

Cue the worst two days of sleep I've ever had in my entire life, the the relapse was the worst one so far. I'd never felt so disgusted in my self and even my girlfreind was noticing a big change in me, I was taking it out on her. At this point I knew enough was enough, when people start getting hurt It's definitely time to stop.

So last night, I sat her down and told her everything,my debt, why I was also sneaking around on my phone, every little detail. I made it clear from the start that if she wanted to leave me I wouldn't blame her one tiny little bit. I think the lies hurt her more than the gambling. I'm not one to exaggerate, this was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, I also text my best freind telling him everything.

Well not what next you might ask for me ; my girlfreind is sticking by me although I think she's stupid for doing so but I'm happy she is. I have given her all my bank cards and she will give me 100 quid a week to live on which is more than enough.

Everything else will go on debts, and we sat down and worked out a budget and at a push I could still be debt free in a year. We also wiped my phone and my computer of all my card details so it's safe to say I couldn't even gamble even if I wanted to, the triangle is permanently broken. (Not like I want to).

I'm amazed how supportive both my girlfreind and best freind have been aswell as everyone on here.

Day one is yesterday and Day 2 is today, all the best.

Liam.

Hi guys,

Just checking in, Day 5 since my I told my girlfriend and things are going well. Couldnt gamble online even if I wanted to because she has all my cards. She has also put a blocker on my phone to stop me using the internet, which is a bit harsh but understandable.

Still can't think of nothing worse than gambling, I think the feeling of relapsing when the people closet know would be 10 times worse as your letting them down. But I don't want to find out.

Living on a budget is difficult, but I feel the next year or so will really get me to appreciate the value of money again instead of P****** it up the bookies all the time. Roll on this time next year when hopefully if stay clean I will be debt free.

If you haven't told someone about your addiction close to you already, I strongly recommend it. I though it would make things worse so I bottled it up for years until I couldn't any longer.

In the matter of fact it makes it 100 times easier having the emotional support.

So if your reading this and haven't told your nearest and dearest, don't think just do it and you won't regret it I promise.

Hope you are well in your journey.

All the best

Liam

Hi all,

Day 6. Just checking in, living on a fixed budget is hard as is not having access to your bank cards but I know it's for the best.

When I haven't been seeing my girlfreind or at work I've just been gaming on the Xbox. I know it's not the most healthiest vice in the world but its free and it's keeping my mind occupied.

Hopefully in time I can start doing the things I used to love like running and cycling but at the moment the recent situation has left me with little motivation and energy.

It could be worse though I could gambling, so for now I will just coast along, chipping away at my debt, being thankful for the small things and clawing back my life bit by bit.

Stay strong guys!

All the best.

Liam

Hi all Day 8.

Nothing to report, still can't and don't want to gamble.

Work work work at the minute but I'm holding on for a brighter future.

All the best

Your friend Liam

Hi all.

Day 9, still no gambling.

All the best

Liam

keep it going liam

Dont lose everything.

dave

well done Liam. You are doing great. Its not easy to tell someone close to us about this awful addiction, but you have done great, and your girlfriend sounds like a super star. You can do it. keep strong.

Stu

You must let your girlfriend keep your cards its taken me six years to get my cards back and to be responsible i have been bet free for a few months now and the card in my wallet result. I did relapse a few times during period with the card she was keeping from me ! .

We have split up now Who wants to live a Gambler .

keep it up liam

Hi folks,

Dave and Stu, thank you for your encouragement and sorry I haven't had a chance to reply until now, I've been reading your diaries and I wish you all the best in your ongoing recoveries.

Day 12 since I broke down and told my girlfriend and still plodding along. Every day is a constant battle trying not to think about the damage done but to try and focus on the future.

Back to the gym today after a few months out, felt good.

All the best

Liam