Hope

Hi SA

Been reading some of your posts and you seem to have nailed the 'keeping yourself occupied' thing. Going for walks, shopping etc. Im finding it hard having to re-learn how to enjoy myself with out gambling but slowly seeing that there are other things to fill the time. You have lasted so long I think thats wonderful - I barely seem able to get started before I slip again but reading stories like yours gives me hope and has taught me that a slip up isnt a reason to give up.

Eyes

Thank you Steve and Lying Eyes for your thoughtful comments. Rest assured I shall be parachuting into your diaries sometime soon.. you have been warned lol 🙂

Am on good form today. I am happy that i have been pro-active and dealt with issues that arose in my life. Without saying directly what they were I am nonetheless very pleased with myself that in being open, honest and transparent I am able to move forward quickly. In the past i would have "run" from issues and gambled.. not now.

Have been to GA this evening. I have been going regularly recently and to be honest am really quite enjoying it.. its not a chore. I go because i want to go. Listening to the therapies and offloading my own stuff and a couple of beers and a chat after I am finding helpful for me and my recovery. Why would i stop.. its working.. so i keep doing it. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Another day passing gambling free! Ive had a good day.. just feeling happy and full of positivity.

I was trying to log on last night but couldnt connect to the internet. I rang my internet service provider and went through a rediculous pantomime of trying to find out what the problem was. Looking back now it was quite funny.

I am not a techie and she had a strong Punjabi accent. She was trying to get me to write Ipconfig into the Run whatsit thingie and she eneded up spelling each letter cos i couldnt understand...ie I for India, N for Nut, C for cat.. at which point she ended up going meooow lol

anyway at the end of the day she reckoned that it was my power adaptor that was at fault.. so this morning off I went to the computer shop.. adaptor in hand.. and of course the inevitable happened.. the 16 year old that served me said o sorrry mate we don't stock the 12b46a/6572b 12 volt adpator with Ma regulator and pointy hat but we can ship this in for you from Quala lumpa for an extortionate fee... ok so he didn't say this but you get the drift lol

I says no thanks.. and goes to another shop and i gets a universal adaptor..£15 which when i get home the connection doesnt fit with my modem whatsit.. so i think o dear and go to work... but am in a good mood none theless.. the sun was shining.

Now why am i waffling on about this you might ask?? Well the answer is this.. if I was gambling I would not have an internet connection period... cos i wouldnt have paid the bill. If I did have the internet and it stopped working chances are i would not have had the credit on my phone to call for help.. and even if it was free call chances are my phone would not have been charged.. cos those sort of things got forgotten when i was gambling or i had no electric. Even if i had phoned and found out the problem.. i would not have had the £15 to getb the new adaptor even if i did have the bus fare to get to the shop.

As it turns out. I got home today and its working normally lol.. its fixed itself :-).. the adaptor was ill but not dead

Moral of the story... don't gamble.. sort out lifes problems as they come along.. I certainly will. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Well it's 11 months today since I last had a bet. Must admit that I am feeling less inspired to write than i use to which for me probably isn't a good thing. Drifting away from the forum to replace it with what?? Still alot of voids in my life.

I feel as if I have once more returned to a stage where yes I have a level of stability in my life and am not in any sort of crisis and yet it is precisely that that scares me. Life scares me I think and I hide away in a little cacoon of a world.. pottering around. I remind myself of the serenity prayer.. "finding the courage to change the things I CAN". I want to make changes, just not quite sure what they are and how to find the courage.

As you can see today i am feeling a little sorry for myself. I will snap out out of it. Again I am feeling over tired. Today i will not gamble. I take my life a day at a time as always. Regards to all who read this.. S.A

Hi SA,

Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down.

I have only been a member here 5 days, but have already noticed that you have been a great contributor here! So I want to encourage you to keep up the good work and keep on posting as i believe it is a real support to us.

I know what you mean about posting, I woke up this morning to read my diary and found no-one had posted back to me and I felt a little disappointed!

But i have been posting various things this morning to try and rev things up a bit as I am finding it really useful. I am on day 5 now and it feels so much better.

I also think that it's times like these when you are feeling down that you become most vunerable, so even more reason to come back here and get re-inspired?

Anyway, be strong today and keep it going!

Weldy

Hi SA

Thanks for your advice. I have self excluded from all betting sites but unfortunately our house also has an office which is part of our family racing business and needs to have access to the business betting accounts so blocking the sites would be impossible.

As for telling people I dont gamble I have really tried and I think in a normal background you would be spot on - for me stating I dont gamble has been in the past greeted with laughter to the extent of people tolling around on the floor. So instead this time I have just given up privately. When people ask my opinion I simply say I havent had time to look at the racing - it saves me putting up with all the jibes and my family telling me to get a grip and get back punting where i belong.

Hope you have had a nice saturday

Eyes X

Thank you for your thoughts L.E and Weld.

Today has been a good day all in all. I quite like Sundays. I had a good session at the gym.. 16.36 km's in 96 minutes. Thats just over 10 miles. Am very pleased with that. Then I went shopping, bought a nice shirt.. I have to treat myself from time to time.

Thinking back yesterday I was not in a good place. I struggle a little on Saturdays. not because of horse racing or sports betting but because i don't really know what to do with myself. I guess that most men my age have the responsibilities of a family life but I don't. Its also the case that i don't really want to go out pubbing and stuff. i sometimes end up not quite knowing what to do with myself... feeling aimless a little lost a little lonely.

In the past i would have spent all saturday gambling.. not any more. truth is though I am feeling a bit depressed at the moment.. besides exercise which i love.. i feel a bit lacking in motivation to do anything else. I need to start thinking more positively and keep moving forward. Regards to all who read this.. S.A

Trying to patiently take my life one day at a time as always. Emotions wise i have felt a little all over today.. but I cope.. no thoughts of gambling.

However I feel as if I need to retreat to my own diary for a while. Sit and think and comtemplate my own thoughts.

So many new diaries with familiar stories. A reminder for me.. as my own memories of financial and emotional melt downs start to fade.

Life without gambling has brought me stability. Life without gambling has brought me options and choices that i never had when gambling. I am a little scared of the real world but I no longer shirk my responsibilities to engage with it. Not sure where I am going with this. Just need to be kind to myself. I am ok. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi Ade,

Thank you for your thoughts and yes I am also doing a 10 km run later in the year and I'd love to do a marathon and will do at some point.

Its been a good day today, all in all. Just the usual mid-week tiredness. Too long spent looking at a computer screen but am feeling fine in myself.

Went to GA last night.. some how I did not find it the most inspiring of meetings but its good that i keep going on something of a regular basis.. need to keep taking my medicine even when i don't feel as if i need it anymore. Same principle to keep posting in my diary. I don't want to become complacent. I know how easy it is to undo all the positive progress I have made. Need to keep working my recovery one day at a time.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Wow SA...Congrats on nearly 11 months clean...A definite inspiration to all of us on this site and just shows "it can be done!"

Totally agree bout keeping posting on this site and not becoming complacent...Thats exactly what I did on my last "blip" and ill be making sure it doesnt happen again!

Well done on a brilliant achievement so far and heres to another notch on the sheet tommorow!

Si

Hi SA, well done on your 11 months free from gambling, blimey, theres a word!! free!!! all of the 11 months not gambling have been free lol (well i thought it was funny)

stay strong SA heres to your first years birthday coming up very soon!!

G x

Hi Simon and Ginny, thank you for your thoughts and yes I have no intention of becoming complacent and yes I see the irony of gambling FREE time lol

Am feeling really rather happy at this moment in time. Don't know why.. nothing in particular has happened to cause unbridled happiness. I just feel happy. Just wanted to say. Long may it last 🙂

Regards to all who read this S.A 🙂

Hi SA,

Well done on reaching 11 months, that is really excellent! I'm about to go double figures - 10 days! so a long way to go to be where you are but, one day at a time I am hopefully going to get there aswell.

Weldy

Stay happy SA //(*_*)

Well done....in fact bloody well done!

Jas xx

Hi SA, thanks for your thoughts on my diary. And a big well done on 11 months gamble free. Long may this happy feeling stay with you, you've worked hard for it and deserve it. Good luck with the 10km run later this month. Thinking of you, Love Ostrich x