Hope

Another day dawns gambling free!

I have dilemmas that i am trying to work through. I no longer want to work full time at what i do.. its to intense.. mentally and emotionally its too much. Ive just been here writing my resignation letter but with a view to picking up some sessional work which i could do from home.

Now from a body and soul point of view this is a good thing. From a financial point of view it clearly isn't.. though i rationalise this by saying to myself that my savings are healthy (thanks to not gambling) and I feel as if I am a good employee in many respects and I will find something else.

But then of course I will be stepping out into the recession. I know I should find something else first.. if i am just using my rational head trouble is am not sure I can wait anymore. Last week I just got to that stage where I simply did not want to go in and didn't. Ones mental health comes first does it not?? Anyway i guess I will mull further, try not to do anything drastic. Out of the frying pan and into the fire is not the way that i want to go.

A final point. If I had been gambling over the months and had debts, I would not even have the choice I would have had to carry on. Not gambling brings oppurtunity and choices

Regards to all who read this.. S.A

A final point. If I had been gambling over the months and had debts, I would not even have the choice I would have had to carry on. Not gambling brings oppurtunity and choices

Hi S A says it all doesnt it? good to have choices. We are only on this planet once and work is a large part of our lives and need to have a job we enjoy not resent doing. I am sure it will all work out. Good luck and take care Min x

Thank you Min for that timely intervention. Its always nice to get thoughtful replies even after one has been here a while. Your thoughts make sense.

Am having a tough time of it. Ive been wrestling on what to do and wrestling with indecision. Struggling and not quite knowing what to do for the best. Scared of making the wrong move in life.

I had vague thoughts of buying a lottery ticket today. I says to myself if I win a bunch of money I can do what i like. For a moment i went into the twilight zone.. couldnt quite remember the reasoning for not buying a lottery ticket. Anyway I went for a walk and the thought passed. This diary is still completely gambling free.

I am meeting up with an old friend this evening. I put my angst on hold for this evening and try to enjoy myself. Dwelling on stuff and feeling sorry for myself does not help... S.A

Hi SA, just catching up with your diary. I agree entirely with Min, I'm sure you will make the right decision for you and that it will all work out. You're a fighter and very determind.

Cyber plate at the ready..... roast lamb with all the trimmings coming your way. Not been cooking much lately, John's been doing most of it. World didn't end by me not cooking, which has been a bit of a surprise to me. (Lol) Hope you had a lovely evening and that the rest of the weekend is going well. Courage, my friend, change is always difficult. You are in charge of your destiny, Love Ostrich x

Thanks Ostrich for your thoughts.. and the lamb was loverly ta. 🙂

Well another day passing gambling free.. its been a mixed bag really. Was out last night with friend.. had a bit of a laugh but too much to drink so today i am feeling a little icky. Have been down the gym and run 17km in 2 hours. I know i can do faster than that but ive got a bit of pain in my leg. slows me up a bit.

Am still wrestling with my thoughts about job and the way forward.. But I guess I will work it through and make a decsion for better or worse. I will find the courage as ostrich says to make a decision and have confidence in that decision.

Anyway no thoughts or urges to gamble today. I don't count days usually but sometimes i cant but help going on the gambling free calculator on another site. Its day 356, not so much as a lottery ticket. Regards to all who read this... S.A 🙂

Well today has been a better day. I guess I am the sort of person who likes certainties in life. Ive pulled back from my panicky thoughts of leaving my job. I am looking to go part time now.. this will help with my mental health I think. Give me more ME time and an opputunity to explore other options away from the pressures of full time work.

Ive arrived at what i think is the right decision for me. I think work are ok with this. I am pleased that i have simply not decided to jump straight into the recession and be unemployed. How would that help me? Anyway thats me. Another day passes gambling free!

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

hey

great read and well done mate, i've not be clean as long as you but i feel really confident this time, i have come clean to my friends and family and although gambling has cost me much more than money and i'm very very down about that, i feel this pain will stop me relapsing.

my story is here

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/index.php?f=24

Hi SA and glad you have sorted things out in your head. Do what is best for you and because you are happy others will feel the vibes too.

Heres to another fulfilled and non gamble day. Min x

Hi SA and glad you have sorted things out in your head. Do what is best for you and because you are happy others will feel the vibes too.

Heres to another fulfilled and non gamble day. Min x

Just checking in. Another day passes gambling free.

Mid-week tiredness. I look forward to a reduction in hours at work.. hope it happens soon. Like Min says when I feel happy and not tired others feel the happy vibes too. Isn't that just so true.

When I am feeling troubled I become very inward and melancholly when i feel happy I feel alive and in touch with the world around me

I will continue to try to do what is in my best interests and not pander to other peoples agenda's.

It was an enjoyable meeting at GA last night. I got much from it. I was able to share my thoughts. Afterwards a few of us went for a couple of beers and lighthearted chat. That was nice.

Thoughts of gambling are some way over the horizon today. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Another day passing gambling free!

Its kind of got me thinking this week. Although am tired from work its also been ok... cos ive largely been on my own. I function best in calm and quiet enviroments. I don't function well with distractions and noise. I get frazzled and overwhelmed easilly. I have updated my CV today. Time to start getting a**e into gear to find a new job.

Going part-time which i assume will happen with my current job and will help my emotional health will be good for a while.. but inevitably my savings will start to shrink. In the the medium term i need to be back in full time work or 2 part time jobs. I need to look around in the recession hit world and see whats out there and apply for stuff.

Anyway am basically fine today. No thoughts or urges to gamble. Just need a good nights sleep I think. Feel refreshed for the new day. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi, S.A.

just popping in to say hi and that I'm glad to see thing's are all good, like you say our emotional health is important to, I'm trying to look after myself a little better all round now i feel i have jumped through the first few hoop's. Anyhow have a great gamble free weekend and keep up the good work.

green x

Hi SA, so glad you made the right decision for you. Have faith in yourself, something will turn up.

I'd like to share a silly story; I remember a few years ago I hated the job I was in, it drained me, left me exhausted, triggered migraines as it stressed me so much. A wise friend suggested 'Cosmic Ordering'. What?! I hear you say. Well I had to compile a list of what I wanted from a job, nice kind boss, close to home, bit more money, less hours, less stressful, but still challenging. Then I sent my CV to about 8 companies that I thought I might like to work for, all the time thinking about my 'wish list'. A few days later I was called for interview, an opening was about to come up in one of the companies, it was 2mins from my home, I got the job and have never looked back. You've got nothing to lose by trying it.

Anyway, food. Not sure what we'll be eating today, got grandaughter, so whatever we have, she will have helped, so lots of love and positive thoughts coming your way. Take care, you are in charge of your destiny. Love Ostrich x

Thanks for your thoughts ostrich... they give me forward momentum. I have updated my CV. I must say it looks alot better than it use to. The last few years I have been in the same employment (albeit with all the stress). I have made a solid platform to be able to find something new, something different.

Am getting old lol My legs just could not cope with the tread mill today. My shin bone was hurting even before I started. I was daft to carry on running. Ive spent much of the day hobbling round. the man on the bus even lowered it so i could get on easier.. now thats a first Lol Time to hang up the running trainers for a week or so. I may be accquiring a mountain bike tomorrow. cycling a little less challenging for the legs. ( alittle anyway lol).

Other wise all is fine. had coffee with a friend today which was nice. I was going to go out of a few beers but not anymore.. couch and slippers for me. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi SA,

Thanks for the post on my journal. It did put things into perspective. I am feeling better now, I honestly felt physically sick when I posted it. You show a great lot of humility and strength, definately something to aspire to.

All the best on the job front...very brave move, shows your strength of character, I am really not happy in my job situation right now but definately don't feel condfident enough to venture into the 'job seekers' category in this *cringe* economic climate.

Hope you enjoyed your weekend,

nwn.