Hope

Aw thanks SA!

Really touched by your post. I always enjoy reading what you have to say, as you have great insight to draw on.

Thanks for stopping by to post - i have to admit to just checking out a few diaries of those who quit the same time as me, but touched that other people a little further down the road take the time to offer support and encouragement.

Thanks again, its always lovely to have a post. Its like when theres an envelope on your mobile phone! makes you feel special! 🙂

Hope you are ok,

f x

Hi S.A.

As usual a great post, you look at the world, and what go's on around you in quite a deep way, a good way, well i think it is, i think thats how we learn, the mistakes we have made can be put to rest when we see whats actually going on in the world.

it's always good to read your posts although they are about every day life, everyday life is now our recovery space, it's our life now, no longer stuck in the arcades for hours on end.

Good work with the run, wish i was that fit, but i am trying. Have a good week.

green x

Thanks for your thoughts Freda and Green. Rest assured I shall be dropping by your diaries sometime soon.

Another gambling free day draws to a close. Am becoming a gym J****E. Ive been running the last 4 days. Today it was 16km's in 1 hour 30 minutes. A record for me Yee haaa!!

Anyways I must go and eat everything i can find now. All is fine on the not gambling front. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Who ate all the pies ???????

I have always avoided writing in your diary.... dont know why because i have so much admiration for the way you have not only dealt with your own 'stuff' but the also the help and kind words you give to others.......and always so beautifully written to boot !!!!

Regards to you S.A 🙂

Take Care

STAY STRONG

Kim xx

Thanks Kim.. your kind thoughts are appreciated 🙂

Just back from the gym.. sore nipples and sore under the arms cos of running top.. not sure I should tell the world that lol But anyway 17.5 kms in 1 hour 40 minutes. Again allowing for a little slowing its about 2 hours 3 mins for the half-marathon. Am on course for a sub 2 hour time all being well.

Must admit though besides the running ive been a bit tired and restless and a bit lonely and withdrawn. Not working today, thought i'd enjoy it.. but for no particular reason i didn't. O well never mind, on to the next day. In the past I would have gambled on days like today.. not now though. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

It makes me knackered just reading about your training!

You must be as fit as a professional athlete by now. Must be nice to be able to eat loads 🙂

Thanks ever so much for your support over the last few days with the interview nerves. My first interview went really well - and they didnt even ask about my gap in employment thankfully.

All the best my friend,

f x

Hi Freda.. thanks for dropping in. Glad the first interview went well 🙂

As for me am still feeling a little low. I have vague feelings about signing up for some sort of course this autumn but not quite sure what to do and am not doing anything about it. Something with a qualification in mind or something just to meet new people. But then I spose whatever I do am gonna meet new people. I just need and want to do something!!!

I feel like I am starting to stagnate. I will go to Ga this week I think... before I start to drift into dangerous territory. Treading water and bumbling along, my addiction likes this. It takes effort on my part to keep doing positive things and keep my addiction where it belongs far over the horizon.

This is helping.. simply writing this self-pitying s**t down. My mood has lifted a little bit. I think its so easy when I'm in a down mood simply not to read or write in here and then come back a few days later and say all is fine and well. But then i think well whats the point in just writing when things feel great. So anyway.. there we go, enough said. My diary has helped a little at this moment in time. Day 453 since my last gamble... according to a gamble free calculator on another site.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

SA your post isnt self-pitying at all. Ive always found you to seem very positive and balanced.

I agree that its best to come on here when feeling a bit poo, as thats what its for! You dont come across as self-pitying for a second - just committed to dealing with problems as they arise and keep moving forward.

Its wonderful that you are so self-aware, and nip these feelings in the bud.

Congratulations on over 400 days free! When I get to that point along the road, I look forward to etching my name on the same tree to signify how far we have come.

Take care,

f x

Thanks Freda.. my mood.. it lifts 🙂

Hi SA

Remember you are allowed to feel down sometimes. It is a human emotion. If you feel low because of gambling that might be different. We can't be on top of the world all the time. You are great for my recovery and I read everything you post. I feel I know you as a friend. I have a picture of you in my mind (LOL).

Take care

Steve E

Thanks Stevey my cyber friend in recovery and likewise your thoughts are a big help to my recovery too... not many people stick around but those that do its hard not to develope a camaradery (dodgy spelling) in working recovery.

I am in good form today. As you say, down times do pass and they have again today. I just woke up feeling good. I think one of the things that i struggle with in my life is self-praise and positive thinking. Its so easy for me to drift into self-pity mode and be pessimistic instead of optimistic. In an ideal world i would not need others to give me that boost and praise and say to me that I am ok because i would have that inner confidence anyway. But as it stands my self-belief is still a bit shakey.. so cheers Steve and others beforehand for the self-esteem boost. 🙂

Yesterday I had a great runnning session... did a half-marathon in 1 hour and 59 minutes. Now I haven't done that since I was a teenager the best part of 20 years ago. Am really getting into this running lark now and enjoying every minute of it. The two races i am doing in October gives me something to focus on and something to acheive. This is all great for my recovery.

I am also definately going to sign up for some sort of course this autumn. I want my mind to be active I want to learn new things I want to feel inspired. In doing this it helps to keep my addiction away. For me this is what working my recovery means in practice.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Good Afternoon S.A

I hope you dont think that im speaking out of turn, but i DEFO think you should have a bash at creative writing......... YES no bull 🙂

Just an idea !!

Enjoy the rest of Sunday

Take Care

STAY STRONG

Kim xx

hi SA

Its good that you have something that can occupy your mind.

When i was younger football was mine, and also exercise. I would cycle ten miles to work. work all day until 4-30pm. then most nights would play 5-aside, the company i worked for had a indoor 5-aside in the basement of the building, and as there was many people my age, we always had enough to get two teams together. I would then ride 10 miles home on my pushbike. That was many years ago, but i loved it and thought nothing of cycling 100 miles a week on a pushbike. That would probally kill me these days, but it was great, and as kept my body in shape still, after all them years.

Still only 32, might look into joining a football team, even if its just a pub team, or maybe try get into coaching youngsters. Id get a lot of enjoyment from that.

Need to find new hobbies for sure, its vital in my recovery from gambling, being bored day in, day out, is goin to make it tougher to resist the urges.

keep up the good work mate, and as always keep up the good posts.

neil

P.s Have you ever read

Born to lose ?

Memoirs of compulsive gambler Bill Lee?

Worth a read........

HI SA

Firstly thanks for your comments in my diary! Much appreciated.

It sounds like you are doing a fine job by keeping youself occupied with plands for a course etc; That would proably do me some good as well. As well as helping me in the job market at this tough time!

I can fully relate to the bit about lacking in the self-praise department! I am also feeling shakey in confidence. Especially tough for me is that I work in shop and so I get comments which can be taken quite badly if I let them both from public and a couple work members.

When you work for the public you have to take their sarcy comments the right way when they are meant in jest. Even if they are being down right 'gits' you have to not react too much as 'the customer is always right' (even though their not).

I am going to have to watch myself as if I put myself down I get vulnerable to the demon (having a bad day etc; etc). Very easy in a crappy job. But I suppose that applies to high powered well paid jobs too!

Awayout