Hopefully the end

You need to be busy in the early days, boredom has a huge effect on folk.

plan ahead and don’t take it for granted mate.

Thanks, I agree. This time I shouldn't really have too much boredom. I'm always very tired from being kept up with a baby who doesn't sleep through the night to feel like I could feel bored!

I'm always busy apart from lulls at work, when I get home I have a 3 year old who just wants to play. I hardly have time where I don't have something to do in my home life, I can't believe that I've managed to get into this situation really.

I went out to see a band in London with a friend and ended up spending more than I should, and came up with a stupid decision to try and make it back. It got worse from there - what was I thinking.

I could have just said something to begin with and it would have been fine. I think I've always been too ashamed to admit that I ever make any bad financial decisions to my wife, probably because I've let her down 3 times previously.

I think / hope that for me to now gamble I would really have to go out of my way to do it, which should stop me even if I had the urge to do so. 

If I ever get the urge I will come on here and do some reading, I wish I had done so earlier.

The thought of my family really should be enough.

These 4 and a bit days have been fine, maybe when I my shame and guilt go I might feel like I want to do it again, but at this moment in time I have absolutely zero feelings for doing it.

Watching everything my children are doing, is making me feel very sad because I cannot imagine the prospect of not living in the same house as them.

Another day through and no urge to gamble, I guess I can’t either way given that I’m working from home all week. 

I’m going to try and continue with this every day to remind myself what I have done and hopefully prevent it ever happening again.

Hi M,

I hope you stay strong and resist any urges. Have you called Gamcare? They can refer you for free counselling.

I have lost thousands, more than £20k over a 16 month period.

I feel so guilty for many reasons but especially that my children will suffer for my mistakes... that’s the worst part and the hardest thing for me to deal with.. So if you get an urge, just think of your children, look at their lovely little faces and realise the money you’ll gamble away could be invested for their future, be that for many years away (uni etc) or a family holiday. 

A lot of people also suggest handing over financial control to your partner and restricting your access to available funds.

Good luck and stay strong!

Miss P 

Hi M

Glad to hear you are keeping gamble free. 

Can I ask what sort of blocks you have in place such as Gamstop for online and SENSE for high street? I ask because you are undoubtedly going through the early stage after a gambling period where you feel like you never want to gamble again but this is unlikely to last.

At some point you will get the urge to gamble again and writing a diary on here and reminding yourself of the bad times probably won't be a strong enough block to stop you gambling again. Will power on its own, from the evidence on this site, is not usually enough. You need the help of something practical that will prevent you from gambling for a while and hopefully let you come to your senses before you are able to gamble.

The gambling demons are unlikely to let go of you easily so my advice is to put as many layers of blocks in their way as possible. 

Good luck and keep posting

Muststop123

Thank you for the support, I cancelled my cards and my wife will have the replacements when they come.

 I have been in contact with gamcare but haven’t arranged anything just yet.

I signed up with gamstop so that should completely rule out doing online stuff (I signed up and self excluded to just about every site I could think of previously).

I live in a small village a reasonable distance from the nearest town, which means when I’m at home on a weekend or evening it would be difficult for me to sneak off and do something if I had any urges.

Also where I work the betting shop is closing down on Monday, so unless it is replaced with another, I would really have to go out of my way to get to the nearest one.

I know this certainly doesn’t mean that I won’t be tempted to again, but it is made more difficult.

My wife will check my bank account for the foreseeable future, if not indefinitely. That should put the fear of losing my family, as I’ll never, ever get away with it.

Is there anything more that you would suggest, as I went 3 years without prior to this last year?

I want my family to be enough of a deterrent, it was impossible to explain that I was happy with them but still did it anyway.

Im sorry to hear what happened MissP, I hope everything gets better for you too.

Another day goes by with no problems, had a nice busy day with the family.

Still not entirely sure where I stand at the moment, will just have to wait and see with that, as I have a lot to prove.

Ince the weekend ends and I’m back in to the office will be where I have to break out of a habit that has gone on for a year, hopefully won’t feel too strange as there is nothing I can do about it anyway.

Have absolutely no idea how any of it felt last time round, but I guess the tests will come when I start to lose this guilty, shameful feeling.

It really shouldn’t be that hard to not do something that you don’t really want to do that you know will cause huge problems...

I wish it was all made illegal or something and then we wouldn’t have to ever worry about it again!

Another day down and back to work tomorrow.

I get paid, so will be nice to see my overdraft go down slightly. Will probably be a bit difficult no longer having access to money so I can’t just buy something if I’m hungry or whatever, but hopefully will make me a bit more disciplined in the long run.

Have the odd moment where I feel completely worthless when I think about what I have done. I cannot let my family down ever again. I’m 32 and I have wasted so much of my mind on gambling. It’s pathetic.

I haven’t got into a situation where I couldn’t pay the bills or taken anything out of joint accounts, which is probably why I could hide it pretty well, but I have lived at the limit of my overdraft for most of the last year and wasted money that could have gone towards my kids, or anything really, not just thrown away.

I guess we just have to let it go as we can’t change the past now, but hopefully have the opportunity to put things right.

First day back in the office has been fine, was kept pretty busy and didn’t feel like I had any urges to do anything (even though it has been taken out of my hands).

Watching sports hasn’t bothered me either, which is a relief as I’m pretty much obsessed with football. I can enjoy it more and not worry about results i normally would have zero interest in.

Well done on your continued success.

I’m on Day 39.. Initially my deterrent was/is my husband has told me he will leave me if I ever gamble again.

Now the pain of living with what I’ve done is the only deterrent I will ever need. 

I hope you remain strong for you and your family. 

Thank you and well done yourself!

I agree, we are in the same boat and have to remember that it can never be worth more than our families.

Another day goes by, been kept pretty busy with work then watched the football this evening.

A bit strange to know that I will have now been paid but I am not able to check any more. I have no intention to waste it on gambling, just feels a bit odd that I can’t see if it is there but I have brought this on myself. Hopefully I will be allowed access in the future so I can prove that I can show control. At the moment I don’t feel like I’m showing anything, as it’s more or less impossible to do anything with no access to money.