I've started another new thread as I think I need to do something that's a bit different and bring a fresh approach.
I am going to look to post a 'my goal for the day' section every day which will be something I want to do or achieve. Most will only be mini bitesized achievements but they will be things I won't have necessarily done if I was stuck in a gambler mindset.
I also want to post some past horrors of when I've been in the gambling zone as I reminder that I don't want to feel like that again. These will be stories and I want to describe how I felt. I might post a few some day and none other days it will just depend. Hopefully other forum readers will be able to relate to some of these stories.
Another thing that happens to me is I can day dream or see someone and think 'that could have been me'. I will try and post some of these as they will be longer term goals to aspire towards.
Thanks for reading. I'll make first new style post later today.
Target 1
Ok so my goal for today is simply to set up a savings account and pay in £1 a day (if that's possible to do and if not then £7 a week). Paying off debt is my focus but it's correcting an error rather than starting something new and making a positive step. It's a tiny sum but I will increase it over time.
Story 1
So I once got some tickets to go watch the snooker championships. It was for the full day on either a Tuesday or a Wednesday. It was at a point where I had started to exclude from online accounts so I couldn't get online and could only get to the bookies. I had withdrawn a load of cash and set out on my way to the tournament giving myself plenty of time to get to the local bookies and put an accumulator on for the morning matches so I could watch my bet come in. I got stuck in loads of traffic and by the time I had got there the matches had started. I went in and proceeded to watch my bet come in easily. I was so annoyed. Inbetween the morning and afternoon sessions I raced into town to place another bet on some match ups for the afternoon that i hadn't even considered. I basically just picked the favourites across the tables I could watch. I got back to the venue and proceeded to watch each of my picks get torn apart and play some horrific snooker. So from being of a position of getting some tickets to watch a sport I love there was no highlight from the day for me. I couldn't enjoy it because all I could concentrate on was gambling. All I remember of the day is gambling and losing. It's so sad that I have spoiled so many positive events through gambling so instead of having good memories everything has been tarred with gambling. I don't want to tar my life like this anymore.
Day dream / lesson 1
My lesson learnt is I want to be in a position where I never need to lie to my family to cover up gambling. I could have spoken about enjoying the snooker rather than not having a clue what was really going on because my mind was racing so much with anger. I hope that episodes like the tale above like help me to stop and to stop needing to hide what has really taken place during a particular day as I have not been gambling.
Hi change
Great idea for a blog and I'll be following.
The amount if times I went to football but a first scorer on. Got beat so would rush to bookies inside stadium to place another bet. Or sometimes just leave the match and go sit in a bookies. Gambling ruined so much football for me. In was wasting my money on a season ticket as well as my bets.
Good luck
Thanks Jamie - it's terrible that we allow gambling to spoil things so much. I'll make another post tomorrow and update on my goal for today.
Follow up from yesterday
I haven't managed to set up a regular payment with my bank. I have the savings account up and running but just can't figure out how to make a daily payment. I will take another look online today as think it will have to be by a standing order. So for now I just transferred a pound into the account.
Target 2
Going to try and tidy up some of the front garden today. Won't have too long as at the hospital now but should get an hr or so to have a go at making some progress... better than sweating over a footy result coming in.
Story 2
I'd been on a big gambling binge over a festive period and lost a load of cash. I'd spent Xmas eve checking scores all day and even Xmas day I was gambling on basketball. Boxing Day we went to a family party and I spent the whole time sat there at night seeing if a basketball result would come in to win me some cash back. Everyone else having fun except me glued to my mobile in the corner of the room. Very sad.
Day dream 2
Really wish for a festive period with no gambling. Each year I tell my wife I'll put lights up overside on the house and dangle some from the tree in the front garden. Each year I think make excuses as I've spent all my cash. For the past years my only memories of Xmas are gambling related and it sickens me. Just wishing for a 2015 Xmas with no gambling. Really really praying that I can make it to the new year gamble free.
Follow up on today
Spent about hour and a half working on the front garden. Lots of weeds grow alongside the wall of the house and in the borders around the grass. Scrapped a load of then out and also mowed the lawn. I wouldn't have done that if is be gambling as would have been in the bookies and then eyes glued on the match.
Follow up on yesterday
I haven't looked into how to automate the daily payment online but i will try to do it tonight otherwise I'll try keep transferring a pound a day until I can get into a branch.
So in 2 days I've set up a savings account and I've tidied up my front garden. Small bits of progress but at least it's positive progress and not regression.
Story 3
We occasionally go round to the in laws for Sunday lunch and I usually spend the whole time checking scores and placing bets on football, tennis or golf. I just did this as the norm every time we went round.
Lesson learnt 3
Today I didn't have my phone glued to me and had a good time just chatting with the in laws, watching tv together and entering the dogs. I had a far better time then stressing over bets. I also thought on the way home how rude I must have come across to my in laws to be constantly on the phone... absolutely disgraceful behaviour and not the type of person I want to be.
Haha just read back... I meant ENTERTAINING the dogs! Throwing toys etc!
Oh my word I'm not that type of person or id have bigger problems then being a compulsive gambler!
LOL...Thank goodness you qualified that :-0
You must have looked a right ignorant sod to your In-Laws...Don't ever do that again!
I can't keep up with all your footsteps so I'll answer your question here...The best bit about giving up gambling for me is realising that the life I was searching for all along was right here, in front of my eyes!
Draw a line under the past mistakes Change & work @ not making any daft ones, like gambling, in the future! Being gamble free up to & including the Festive period is completely in your hands!
Great work over the last couple of days, keep building your new gamble free life - ODAAT
Ha ha we are not here to judge Change!
Thanks for your posts. Good to have a bit of humour in this place albeit not intentionally.
I am aware I am posting everywhere but I need to do it right now.
Tonight I went into the loft and started 'operation tidy up and throw out'. The only problem is the mess gets worse before it can get better. The wife was happy with the work id done on the front garden but still complained about the mess in the back garden! I don't blame her though.
I really hate gambling. I can't express it well enough in words but what a horrible horrible thing it is. It has ripped me apart and putting myself make together is so difficult.
I agree one day at a time, ignorant is the word to describe my actions at their house but also more generally in relation to my life for the past years. A total ignorance for money and other people. Really want to get to that 3% club...
Don't feel bad for posting everywhere...Especially not if it is helping you 🙂 Only you can stop you getting to be a member of that club (which is only the start) just as only you can get you there! You have a lot of making up to do but you must also remember to be kind to you whilst in recovery (result, that means you can be nice to you forever)! I'm sorry, I haven't read back to see what bought you here but I'm going to hazard a guess that gambling was not just about money & you need to make sure you tackle your demons assuming they're not in the garden or the loft!
Time to leave the gang for Ignorami in your rear view mirror - ODAAT
Target 3
Do not smoke any cigs. There is a correlation between gambling and smoking for me. When I'm in the gambling zone I don't tend to smoke. When I lose a big bet the first thing I do is get some cigs and this then continues. No cigs today to break the cycle.
I might try and update with a story later but planning on having a busy day.
Lol, lol, Change, Hmmm, chuckle,
Entertaining the dogs, yes lol.as Dan said no one is here to judge, but you have put a smile on my face 🙂
Well done you on your new outlook on your recovery.
Keep entertaining 🙂 and keep winning.
Suzanne xxx
Managed no smokes today so another mini target reached. Back tomorrow with more targets and stories.
Hope everyone is doing well!
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