i absolutely love..... ....not gambling

Very well said, Dan. Telling all really is the way forward no matter how difficult it is to do it.

GT

Hi Dan, I have just read the post about your mothers email. That's got to be immensely hard for her and you to take. If you read these diaries regularly you will see that the people that succeed over a long period of time are the ones with large barriers in place. It sounds simple doesn't it? You have two massive barriers is place. You told your wife and you have told your mother. The two main ladies in your life.....can you let them down again? Posting and reading daily will help you....as will handing over your finances. If you have no access to money then you can't gamble. It's as simple as that. You owe this to your wife....the lies and the deceit have to stop now. You are only a short distance down a long road but you have taken a couple of big strides, now it's time to back them up with a commitment to your family, to us and most of importantly to yourself. A much better life is waiting. Russ

Russ,

many thanks for your comments... yes I am pleased to have those blocks in place but am well aware I need to do more.

I have just spend the last three hours working out a repayment plan for my debts, It's gonna be March 2012 before I can clear the debts in my wifes name after that it will be debts in mine, which although not ideal are at least then my problem alone.

anyone know any good boiled rice recipes?!

Dan I applaud your 18.47 update, so very very true matey.

Keep up the posting 🙂

Smokey

Smokey - thanks for the post.

Again this post is more for more own mind than for others, but if you do happen to read this, in the midst of the same problems as me then please please take action now.

Four credit cards that will take until March 2012 to pay off, with no extra spending and minimal amounts each month for me and the wife to live off. I can handle not having anything myself, to be honest in the large part it has been years since i brought anything for myself on a whim. some fishing gear earlier this year but this is now on the auction site.

Seeing my wife having to go without and knowing that everyday she has to work, without any rewards is to be honest disgusting.

£3000 in the next 14 months will be given to the credit card companies. So not only was I taking money out that I didn't have to bet on odds that I was never going to beat, I know have to repay 50% of the amount owed in interest alone. and that is only the credit cards.

If I can't find a way to get out of the payday loans I face repaying £12000 over the same period, in interest alone.

So here me always thinking knowing how bad the credit cards are for 'cash' and yet I find myself owing money at an interest rate that is 60 times higher.

http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/

Hi Dan,

I don't know if you've already spoken with The National Debtline on 0808 808 4000. I've heard some good feedback about them. They aren't trying to sell you any product, they just give free impartial advice, so you are more informed about options available to you.

You've mentioned that you are keeping this diary for yourself, which is as it should be. At the same time it is a very encouraging read for others on the forum.

I've noticed you've had some helpful tips from your peers, about protecting yourself from relapses by putting barriers in place. Have you already got something like Gamblock or Betfilter on your computer?

It is good to know that you are finding the forum helpful.

Keep posting!

Adam.

Hi Dan

I spoke to the national debt line and they put me onto payplan which do not charge anything to set up a debt management plan.......i am currently starting one, have similar debts to you......what payplan do is work out a budget for you which you can afford and negogiate with creditors to stop interest(they would rather have some money back than you go bankrupt).

Its definately something to think about

take care

kicking it

Hi, Adam and Kickingit, thanks for the advice, i've written to my creditors today to ask them direct if they can freeze the credit and renegotiate the interest rates being charged and thankfully Im getting some support from family to pay of the extortionate payday loans so I can start reducing the debt. I'm just astounded at how Ive allowed us to get into thos mess. from a joint income of around £4000 a month, we are faced with having less than £1000 for food, petrol, entertainment, insurance etc etc - for the next 18 months.

If I dont get a very helpful response from the creditors then I will use the national debt line.

It may sound strange as clearly I want to keep my debt as low as possible and I am incredibly frustrated that you can have 7 different payday loans at once, that my bank have allowed 14 repeat transactions to

the same casino, within an hour - even when the casino had an old address, a deliberate move as I thought it would prevent me from depositing anymore!

but all that said, I have spent this money. Even if I dont agree with the way Ive been lent it, it is still me that has borrowed it and so Its right that it should be me that repays it.

This is the last time I am going to be in this mess, of that I am determined. I no longer gamble.

If I gamble again, even £1, I will lose my family, I will lose my wife, who means everything to me. I will mentally not cope with the fallout and so will not cope with work. I would then lose my job,

Just £1 and I will basically consign myself to a life on the streets, with no prospects. A life that I very much do not want to lead.

Im honestly not looking forward to the day that I have money in my pocket, I am though looking forward to the day that I can send my wife out to buy herself a mulberry!!!!

Thanks again for your comments and I will certainly give them a call if my direct approach fails.

My next payday treat to myself, will be gamblock. 🙂

cheers all

Hi do know what u mean about the banks. I have 2 bank accounts and the one let transaction after transaction go through without any hesitation to an online casino and yet the same bank put a stop on me buying a t v without speaking to me personally on the phone as I had already spent five hundred a few hours before in another shop!!

The other bank wouldnt ok transactions after so many being presented to the online site so did stop me spending more money and even rang me the next day to check if it was me who had tried to get these authorised. Must admit was embarrassed as they reeled off the amounts an I had to say yes but made some feeble excuse that I had winnings due!(which of course I didnt as any winnings didnt stay in my casino account long enuf to be actioned before I withdrew them back to play again) so seems some banks are more viligant than others.

I joined the Consumer Credit Service an it will take me 6 years to pay off my debts but that is only becos I pay a small monthly payment as off sick an I can increase it any time. I dont get any demanding letters now only statements from the companies I owe money to as they apparently have to send u one by law. But if I hadnt done this then I know I would have added to my credit cards and got even deeper in debt. Also my hubby paid off quite a few by contacting the companies an asking for a settlement figure and cut some of my debts by more than half. They just want to get some of their money back.

Hope the companies freeze the interest for you but at least u know there is a back up plan.

Glad u staying strong GL Jan x

Hi dan

I noticed that you have received encouragement to contact other members privately on your thread.

There is a sticky in other parts of the Forum on the exchange of private contact details and this is an excerpt of this sticky:

So, if you choose to post your contact details please keep in mind the need to manage and validate any contact with other members. "

Kind wishes

Gabriele

right possibly starting to get some repayment plans in place, in no small part thanks to some unbelievable support from my family, who dont exactly have money themselves.

probably looking at 75% of my take home wage paying of debts for almost 4 years.

So 50-60 hour weeks, and will have nothing to show for it, for four years.

Am so glad that I no longer gamble.

I cannot win because I cannot stop.

I will not lose because I will not start.

A quick bit of research for cars valued the same as my current debt shows I could have had:

2004 Bentley GT Continental

or

2010 Lexus RX

or

Porsche 911 3.6l Carrera 4 turbo.

what a ***T

Hi Dan

Just wanted to check up on you.

It won't be an easy road. We all have years worth of debt to pay. Just remember those 4 years of paying up your debts will be much easier than all the years you've wasted on gambling.

Keep it up my friend!

Vegas

Hi Dan, just read your diary and it makes interesting reading.

Hard as it is at the moment, my advice to you would be to accept that the money that you have lost, is gone, along with that part of your life that was gambling. In short, you can do nothing at all to change the past, so accept that what has happened, has happened, and now look forward to the things that you can change, for a far brighter future than you would have had if you had kept on gambling.

Don't be too critical of yourself at this time, take a step back, and look through the diaries here for instant confirmation that you are not the first, or sadly, the last that is going to go through the turmoil that you are currently experiencing.

It is not all doom and gloom though !! With willpower, support, and the necessary barriers in place, you can move on, one day at a time, to a far happier existence, where you can actually feel fulfilled, and be made happy by the small things that are sufficient to satisfy the vast majority of people. Again, in short, just enjoy living !!

Hope some of that makes sense to you ! In the meantime, stick with what you are doing in trying to beat this demon that lives within us. You can do this !!

Keep The Faith

Stay strong Dan it gets easier x

Jules