I cannot win because I cannot stop

Hey Stu,

Welcome back!!! I am glad to see you are back on the wagon and ready to give your recovery another shot 🙂

I am still here, i lapsed once in my time being here since May, but as they say it is recovery and ups and downs are expected.

Sorry to hear you wasn't in a good place for a while, but really pleased to see you back and posting.

Keep making the right choice. Forget losses and look forward. You can do it, we are here to support you 🙂

Sandra x

Stu

Fella I am glad to see you back in recovery, it will gift you all you want it to, unlike gambling which will without doubt just keep piling on the misery.

The choice comes back to you my friend, you have the power to stop that misery.

My advice as always follow the triangle

Time-Money-Location

Take one away and the punt becomes impossible, the outcome simple

A reversal in fortunes

I DID WIN BECAUSE I DID STOP

Learn from those 100 days, as they count for squat every time you gift your hard earnt to the destructive gambling.

We are here unconditionally, but ultimatley the choice is yours.

Again I hope you make the right choice.

Duncs stepping forward never back

thanks Sandra and Duncs

DAY 2

Stu: note to self, Although gambling gives you a buzz temporarily it ALWAYS will lead to disappointment, frustration, stress, anxiety, depression.

It is an escape, a way of dealing with a difficult experience and difficult emotions- see it for what it is.

A new day today, A new start. Just for today I will not gamble

take care everyone

Stux

Hey Stu

Glad to see you back to receive, help, support and guidance. You can and you will again notch up those days once more if you stay determined and committed to improve your life and your happiness. You can do it Stu - we all can!

Take care.

Lady Feb.x

hey thanks Lady Feb

DAY 3

good to be here again. Am feeling quite low at the moment. I will start posting on other people's diaries but not quite yet. Thanks for your encouraging words.

Not had many urges this morning and have been too busy with work to gamble so its a good start to the day.

take care everyone

Stuxx

Hey Stu - just checking in - your sign off the last couple of days has been really positive - really hoping you've made it through Day 3 mate - will be checking again tomorrow to see some Day 4 positivity and resolve - keep going fella - half a week of being gamble free approaches!

Mr Brightside

Hi Stu,

Thank you for dropping by 🙂

Take it slowly my friend, no rush, no race...only day at a time. You did it before, you can do it again.

Never give up giving up.

Take care and stay strong

Sandra x

Hey Stu,

Hope all is good with ya and you are ready for the festive day 🙂

Merry Xmas my friend!! Have a lovely time with your loved ones 🙂

Sandra x

Hi Stu,

I remember you from the summer where I also managed 100 days only to fall back to old ways. I'm back on the wagon again and on 43 gamble free days. You know better than anyone what you need to do as you have done it before, but one thing that has helped me is to make long term goals for your recovery. I started out just wanting to get to 100 days gamble free, but as someone so rightly pointed out on my diary, what happens then? Probably would have felt like i'd conquered this illness and start gambling again like last time, Now I'm changing my lifestyle so that gambling has no place, thats the plan anyway!

This time for you is going to be tough, just hang in there, you know yourself it gets easier.

Take care mate, keep up the good work,

Jimbo

back again- totally despondent. Been on gambling bender today, won a lot, lost a lot, chased my losses a lot. Just got paid and spent it all. Don't know where else to go except here. I am so exhausted of it all. I do have some other money saved up which I can put into my current account it will just about cover my direct debits for this month. But I am out of control and fearful that I will spend it.

Why am I still doing this to myself and my lovely family????? we've just had a new baby and I've just got a new job, life is good- why do I want to ruin it? Does any one else have these kind of conversations.

so Day 1 again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tomorrow.

take care

Stuxx

Stu,

I am pleased to see u bk, back sorry to hear you come bk in these circumstances.

I would suggest to contact GC, maybe they can give you some more effective steps to move forward and control it all.

You been in recovery before, you know how it works...self exclusions, handing money to someone you trust...

Don't beat urself up for it. It is gone, that's it, you will not get your money back.

Stand up, dust urself down and look beast in the eye again. You can do it, and you know you can.

Please stay close by, we are all here for you..always understanding and trying to support at our best..

take care

Day at a time

Sandra x

Hi Stu, firstly. Nice name! Same as me 🙂

Secondly, the terrible thing about gambling is that it never seems to go away. It is also eveywhere nowadays, your phone, tablet, computer, bookies, pubs, scary stuff. All this makes it harder to control yourself. I have only been gamble free a few weeks but it seems that eveywhere I turn, there's an advert for some form of gambing.

I think you should take the hardest step and tell someone you trust about your problem. If possible, leave them in control of your money for a while (I had to do this the other day!) and work on yourself. I was talking to a woman on the chat on here and she said that there's usually always a reason for you wanting to gamble. It's never for fun. It is either because you have spare money lying around, your bored or lonely, or you are trying to make "big" money to buy something. The trouble is, if you didn't gamble for a while you would have even more spare money around, so instead of going on a gambling binge you need to be strict and avoid any places that you can gamble. And if you must go in the pub etc, don't take your bank card with you. You seem to not care about money when your drunk and will happily lose it all in a machine etc until you wake up the next day raging with yourself.

Take it easy, although you've relapsed and gambled, you can make it your 1 goal in life to never slip again. Any money that you see and plan to gamble with, just look at it and remember that it could either buy your family a nice day out etc, or it could be used to fund you chasing of the big unachievable win, and resulting in self hate.

Take care!

Stuart

Stu

Fella bottom line is it has to be you who wants to end the misery that is waged upon yourself and your family.

My advice speak to someone, phone the helpline, find a GA meeting, throw all you have given to gambling at recovery.

I remember those conversations like they were yesterday, with every episode of more losses the false promises to myself that I was done with gambling.

The mantra will always be the .same.

I cannot win because I cannot stop.

I also remember how happy your posts were last year, your diary (old one) was full of hope and your outlook was positive.

It will be a long day coming

The day someone posts that they can't stop winning!!

Because the truth is for us no win will ever be good enough, big enough to satisfy our addiction.

Recovery offers you a chance to actually win, for us arresting the punt is the way to become a winner.

I hope to see you give it a try, as I say the choice is yours

Turn that mantra around

I did win because I did stop.

Recovery is truly the gift that never stops giving

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hey Stu

Sorry to hear things are not too good for you at the moment. I really do hope you find the strength to post back on here for support at this vulnerable time. You should try to think back to those 100 days you were able to remain gamble free for and how that made you feel.

The thing Duncs always mentions - TIME, MONEY, LOCATION. This might be something you may need to adopt. For me, the main thing was to have my laptop and my mobile phone blocked with K9 and have my sister put in a password. This has most definitely stopped me from placing a bet if/when I have considered it. I am not sure how/where you gamble but it may mean you may need to consider only having a cash card which will prevent you from making any online transactions. I know this can often feel like you dependence is taken away from you but I suppose this is small fry in comparison to what gambling can take from you.

Please report back again your feelings and thoughts. I for one, want to offer you my support. I remember you have a loving, caring family, including yourself.

things will definitely settle down again, you just need to allow yourself some space between yourself and the gambling.

Rooting for you to get back onto "The Bright Side of the Road". Come and join me - it is so much better.

Take care and hopefully speak soon.

Lady Feb.