I do not want or need to gamble today it is unhealthy for me

My Name is Dave of Beckenham. I Am becoming healthier in a spiritual way. Yet I am not a religious person.

Last night and yesterday were very productive. I am more useful these days.

There was a time when I wished my life away, I was afraid of living and afraid of dying.

I use to think and feel that I loved gambling, the llusion of love was because it gave me excitement and such an adreline rush.

Today I am stable and realxed and not living on the edge of my nerves.

Usually I caused myself a lot of pain due to my unreasonable expectations of life and of other people.

When people were angry or upset I took their issues on board.

My resentments and being over sensitive told me that I was not able to or not able to heal my pains.

Tomorrow we sign the final papers regards my mums passsing on.

It has been a year since her death and yet I now feel more at peace with her than ever before in my life.

There are three records of her father playing vaudeville I want to transfer.

I hope that I am able to do that soon.

What do we class as being successful, money material thing, or is it bout being more spirtaul and content with who we are where we are an knowing we do teh very best we can do in any thing we try our hand at.

Once in my journey of recovery there was more success and less failure.

In fact my theory is that every thing in ou rlife is a test of our steel.

How we deal with lifes tests is a meassure of our recovery.

Shirley & I ar eboth working hard to get things done in our time.

Rain stops play of course that is time to relax and enjoy what we have and who we are today.

I am looking forward to being at the 50th Celebration of GA in the UK at Basildon Essex.

I did not have a clue how important the spiritual recovery program was going to have on me.

I walked in to the recovery program emotionally traumatized, not able to see any thing clearly.

My questions were due to my insecurity I had learned to live my life on the edge of my nerves.

With each lie came more fear, in time I was able to get honest with myself.

No matter when a person had their last bet, I am an equal to them.

I am able to be more accountable to myself today.

I understand most aspects of the recovery program.

My motives for doing things are not resentful, I do things willingly.

I am not torn a part with rage and anger, I am content with myself today.

I was not stupid bad or evil, I was just a very weak vulnerable unhealthy person.

I am doing well and trying to have full healthy productive days yet while respecting my physical limits.

I do not want or need to gamble today.

The obsessions and addictions were an indicator that I had poor resolve in how I felt with in myself.

Fear was a way of me protecting myself

I no longer want to live in fear any more.

I do not fear the gambling establishments today.

I use to say that I wanted to be normal.

Today I want to be healthier than normal.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave Of Beckenham