Hi
I started gambling because I was bored and it gave me a thrill I know you don't win but I convinced my self the cost was small and it was worth it. I have never smoked and don't drink so the little thrill I got seemed worth the cost. Oh for a while I was well controlled had a budget but.............sigh it took over . Nothing seems to give me as much pleasure as gambling and I can't seem to stop. I'd be wanting to do it more and more I have won bits but can't seem to walk away with it I end up doing a reversal and spending it all then adding more. My vice is online slotsd eventually they suck the life out of you because whenever I win I seem to continue until it all goes. The operators seem to know how hook you and manipulate you into playing more and spending more. It takes you away from doing anything worthwhile sitting here throwing money away behaving like a zombie. Then ending up feeling like a dirty cheat who hides away with a dirty secret.
Christmas made me feel miserable I got paid and my wages only covered my overdraft there was a list a mile long on the bank statement of monies removed by my gambling. Its January I have an overdraft that is maxed out and no money to pay anything. I will have to use my credit card again for living I can,t go on like this. I decided to get myself further in debt by using a gambling blocker but I hope its money well spent. So here I am on day 2 one day at a time.
Good start lorriemay, and the money you ve spent on gam bloc will pay for its self in know time.
Hi lorriemay, today I have been forced to look @ lists of withdrawals on my bank statements & it really hurts that I did that to myself 🙁
The websites are designed to suck us in, & we compulsive gamblers cannot win because we cannot stop. I never played online so I had notes running through my fingers, withdrawing on a card that was over my overdraft (holding my breath each time I tried again in case it got declined) but still it didn't feel like money. I can't imagine how surreal it is online where you don't even see cash, it just becomes a series of numbers with no value until you check your bank account. Having read what I have, I think that getting the blocker is likely to be money well spent! Hopefully you will start feeling better very quickly, keep strong - ODAAT
Well I have made 2 days because I can't gamble I no money left and no acces to internet gambling. I have read some awfully sad tales on here it breaks my heart. I know what you mean about holding your breath in case a payment declines as you get so close to the end of your resourses. I have to ask myself why I do it for me it fills some sort of void an illusion a thrill but it fails to last and I continue to press the self destruct button. So I continue my journey towards being free of its grip. For everyone trudging this path the best of luck.
Hi lorriemay, well done on day 2, I'm sure the blocking software will be worth it. I've read your diary and it sounds just like me and so many others on this forum. I'm new too and I'm inspired by the successes I've read and hope to be on here in 2016 saying 'it's been over a year since I last gambled'. It's a challenge I am up for and wish you every success. Our journeys may take a different path but the destination is the same xx
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