It's Monday and I'm on a bus on the way to work. Two things- the weekend was gamble free which considering I didn't go out much and was alone for a lot of it is great. Normally that sort of scenario would have seen me sitting up all night mindlesly playing round after round on some stupid online slot. I did have one half hearted attempt to beat the controls I've got in place which shows how much I need them, but I was already thinking about how awful I'd feel if I'd managed to do it. I think I've turned a corner but long road yet. For a start I'm paid monthly and haven't had a pay day for a couple of weeks - last pay day I gambled in fact that was the last day I gambled. So will be worried when that comes around again - although really need the money to pay for some Christmas presents so maybe that will keep me strong. If day 13 feels good like this a whole month must feel better. Under no illusions though sure it will be tough to stay away. But so far so good
It's Friday so start of another weekend - lots of things planned and still a week away from pay day so should be alright but I need another week of getting out of the habit of heading on line at a moments notice to get ready for pay day. I haven't been without issue this week, again on one day managed to find a device and a site I hadn't closed. Have closed it now and really don't think there's another. But that was Tuesday and haven't really thought about it since then. But its not easy
Monday again and another weekend successfully negotiated. Hardly thought at all about gambling this weekend but am more than aware that the no opportunity and no money combination has made that easier. Payday on Friday so worried about that- I need every penny to pay bills, service debts and pay for Christmas but I know it's going to be very hard seeing it there in my bank account. Will pay everything as soon as it comes in and will fight to keep control. It's my next big one so will feel very proud if I can come on next week and say I managed it.
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