I Feel Like A Fraud.....

Please don't feel guilty! Gambling is gambling Hun, regardless of the figures involved. Its an addiction that before you know it takes over your life, we are all different and the very fact you came here shows that it has made an impact on your life.

remember that scared feeling! You are right, chasing after a bigger win will never happen, the only big winner is the site/casino taking your money.

many people here use the triangle: money, time, location. Take one away and you can't gamble.

have you self excluded or put a block on your computer?

i found that gambling took hold of my life, hence i am now trying to find my freedom again! We are all different x

keep posting and reading others stories, take inspiration hope and warning maybe but please please don't feel guilty!

best wishes

Laura x

Hi 'Gigglypuff'

I am so glad for you that you have recognised this so early - please, don't let it take over your life. I think that some people are very vulnerable when it comes to CG and I recognise the tendency in you. Don't trivialise this, and don't feel that you are a 'fraud' on here - put blocks in place so that you can't gamble even if you feel like it, and tackle this problem now. I have been a CG for about 10 years - but remember that for 40-odd years I never gambled - not once - and don't think for one moment that you won't become me because the potential is there in all of us. Also, don't think that at one year I didn't feel like you do now - of course I did. You ARE lucky...you recognise it, you can get help and you can stop this from escalating (which it will). Good luck.

Ruthie.

Thanks Laura and Ruthie,

Ive recently moved into a new house alone and my disposable income is smaller than ever before. Id had some lucky wins with friends in the casino and that made me think "Ooo maybe I can get more money this way!" so thats when the online gambling started. I used to say that I never gambled with money that I couldnt afford to lose, which was true in the start. This week Ive spent more than half of the money I needed for the week and had to dip into my savings which makes me so angry at myself cause I worked so hard to save that up.

I have self excluded and am going to come here and read stories whenever I feel the urge cause that helped last night, kept me occupied for hours lol.

I think living alone has given more time than ever to sit and be bored and I'm definately going to try and fill up my nights with family and friends.

Thanks for your kind words, guys - Stay Strong x

Hi Gigglypuff,

So glad for you that you recognised your issues early and can stop before it gets out of control. Makes me laugh on the online sites when people write don't spend what you can't afford, I think if only they knew.

Stay strong and ty for the support on my diary

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Very well done in recognising what was happening before it was too late, I only wish id had your foresight. But as has been said before gambling is gambling and you must treat it as seriously as any one of us and to that end take all the support and advice on offer here because it seriously does help.

All the best on the road to recovery.

Mark

Half of me wonders whether I can control it, from the beginning I had a limit on my account and only played once a week. I dont feel the need to gamble all week, but I am always aware when Ill be able to deposit again and play. I dont seem to feel the same desire that some people on here feel and in that sense I feel like Ill be okay. But then I worry that this is just the beginning and I dont want it to get out of control. I havent gambled since Monday and feel absolutely fine. But then I worry that Im not really taking it seriously, and that also contributes to the feeling that Im trivialising a problem that has wrecked so many peoples lives.

Just rambling thoughts, hope they make sense :S

Hi,

You are right to worry that gambling is something that grows over time. For the first few years I gambled, I never really had a problem with it, enjoyed the footie, rugby and sports betting and it never really ate into my disposable income. The problem is that they were a gateway into the casino games, and once I started playing them, the claws set in.

Everyone is individual, and if you are gambling an amount that is harming your way of life in a detrimental way, then you certainly shouldn't feel bad about trying to solve it. The amount doesn't really matter, as I'm sure there are some who gamble thousands and don't really have a problem, while for others losing 50 can make a massive difference to their finances for the month.

Hope you find the right way for you. Don't ever be concerned that you'll be judged for having the thoughts that you are, this place is all about support and discussion.

All the best

Ryan

Thanks Ryan, it puts my mind at ease to hear peoples kind words 🙂

Hi Giggly, like everyone else I have io firstly say good job on recognising that you were/are potentially at the gateway to developing a real gambling problem that would have genuinely negative repercussions.

You say you've questioned whether your 'problem' is legitimate and whether you can exercise control. This gives the impression that you do still feel a bit of supressed urge to go back to gambling in what you see as a managed or 'responsible' manner. This should be a bit of an alarm bell in itself as it says that something about the experience is conflicting and potentially pulling you back.

It's just so incredibly easy to slip from 'contolled' gambling into a habit that escalates into something that becomes all consuming and endlessly destructive, not just to finances but more importantly to mental health and wellbeing. Even knowing how easy it is to fall into the trap and trying to be sensible to avoid such eventualities isn't often enough to stop this from happenening and it tends to creep up and blindside us by which time it becomes a lot harder to stop.

There is a 'buzz' from gambling, from 'potentially' winning a bit of extra cash. That buzz however is soon replaced with something very different. How did you feel when you lost that first big amount? Angry? Cheated? Ashamed? Dispondant? Scared? Did your mind start thinking about what you had planned to use that money for or what you could have bought for yourself instead? Did you think about how long it took to earn that money? Did you feel entitled to get it back?

I would imagine that you felt some, if not not all of these things. Once compulsive gambling kicks in these feelings don't ever change, they intensify and soon the 'buzz' becomes a numbness that is followed by a wave of these negative feelings and thoughts. It gets to a point where depression kicks in and exacerbates things further and a cycle of gambling, losing, negative thoughts, back to gambling etc takes hold and the very last thing it becomes about is money. It essentially creates negative feelings and then becomes a way to continue validating those negative feelings. All sounds like it sucks doesn't it?... It does.

Online sites (and casino's) will do everything in their power to get you onboard and ultimately losing cash. It's obviously how they make their money, and a lot of it.

Have a think about what would be real life changing money for you. I may be wrong but you sound pretty solvent and able to pay for a reasonably comfortable lifestyle so I'm guessing genuine life changing money is a pretty big amount. What do you think the odds of winning that amount is and how much do you think you'd have to risk to obtain it? Now if you are just going for 'small top up amounts' to make life easier maybe ask yourself how many small 'manageable' deposits you can lose before that accumalitve amount could've been a decent chunk of cash that could've contributed towards something life changing.

Despite the way we think things should be the odds on winning ARE NEVER 50/50 or anywhere near. Did you notice when betting online how when betting with smaller stakes you seemed to 'win' more frequently than when you upped the ante? Was there a point where the games seemed to be being kind for you then suddenly shifted to being the opposite, and then some?

This should tell you that no matter how much 'control' you think you have that actually you are not one controlling the situation. As soon as you deposit and start playing it is pretty much out of your hands other than withdrawing, shutting down the account and never going back.

Something I use as motivation when thinking 'well I could win a few quid' is simply remembering that feeling of loss and asking myself if I'd wish that upon anybody. For me to win a few quid, someone has to be losing more than a few quid (the casino/website will always end up in profit) and I don't want to be complicit in their misery, certainly not when I come to Gamcare and see that the misery isn't just something I've experienced.

Anyway, I seem to have gone off on a bit of a lecture, sorry about that. I'm not trying to dictate what you do, we are all different, choose to start gambling for different reasons and have different ways of trying to stop/stay stopped. I hope however you can take something from all this no matter how cliched it may seem.

You've been really sensible in coming here for guidence so early on in what could so easilly instead be a lengthy period of loss, massive kudos to you for doing so.

Keep focussed and geuinely logical and you'll stay gamble free and rather than thinking you are depriving yourself of something you'll be much much happier. Trust me.

Take it easy.

Ian.

Hi Ian, everything youve said makes complete sense and I agree wholeheartedly.

I think my first step is admitting fully to myself that I have the beginnings of a problem and thats why Im here. I think to myself that Im not quite there yet, and that denial to myself is one of the warning signs that made me want to check out the advice here.