i want to be free

there is hope laura

keep posting

keep reading other posts

ring gamcare and get some counselling

possibly even get some outside help such as doctors or gamblers anonymous

lots of help out there if you want it

tri

You are definately not alone in this battle, if you read through the posts on this site you will see this. I am also on Day 1 free from online slots I have just downloaded k9 blocker software to help take away some temptation. I know what you mean about that awful feeling of what have I done??? I feel as though i spend nearly every waking hour thinking about gambling... We can beat this addiction as others have too, so heres to Day 1 of being gamble free. Stay strong and see you tomorrow for Day 2, take care Jaz x

I'm with you too. Made a massive very private mess. No one knows.there are so many in the same boat struggling for freedom from this illness. I am on day five. Very bad day but I am determined. I have found others words amd stories so encouraging. Stay strong keep talking . Online slots were my downfall too. I am staying here for a very long time possibly forever because when I do *** this i want to be able to help those coming in. We can do this together. You're not alone. Xx

thanks jaz, i have got k9 on my computer but still found a way! am just hoping i can beat this! good luck to you to x i have closed or self excluded from nearly every site but as im sure you know its still possible to find a way. hopefully we can both beat this x

snap with the big private mess lizt x online slots are just to easy. i hope we all manage to beat this. x

I know it's a long and very difficult road. There is so much shame and guilt. There is so much help here. Have you thought about counselling. Xx

Its nice to know that in not the only one in this situation! I spent over a year building up the courage to ask for help, i saw my gp who referred me to the mental health team ( for various reasons not just gambling) i saw someone who said i needed to see the psychiatrist for help and medication, they referred me. That was 15 months ago and i never heard a thing. I'm gonna have to go it alone here!

Hi Laura k.. Well done on coming on here. I think it takes a lot of courage to stand up and admit to our mistakes. I think while its great to read diaries and all the advice that is thrown about you have to take out of it whatever is going to work for you.. Ii found councelling very useful as it allows me to be completely honest.. IM totally ashamed of this illness but being able to talk openly about it makes me think i can get through it.. And if i can do it so can you...

Chip up laura pal,good to see you putting the blocks in but as you said its all in the head,if you want it enough you will stop.i understand its very hard as I am in same bout as you but we can never ever win at gambling because we can never stop after a win. 🙁 goodluck keep posting here.x

Scottyboy

thank you scottyboy & needhelp. if i can beat the gambling then i can focus on the other stuff and one day after a good nights sleep i will wake up with clarity & freedom. hopefully! i wish you all the best of luck with your own battles. again its just so much more helpful knowing there are others in the same boat.

on the plus side i have used my computer on and off all day and have been good 🙂

Hi Laura,

One thing that helped me give up gambling last time was having someone close to me help with my finances. I know that's not always possible for everyone but when I started to realise that I had to be accountable for every penny I spent, it made it much harder to spend money on gambling. I was only able to do this because at the time I was in a relationship and I eventually came clean with my partner about my gambling when things got bad. They then basically kept my money in a separate account and then gave me cash only as and when I needed it. I appreciate this is not possible if others are not aware of the issue and also you have to be able to trust them with your money! But it may be something you want to discuss if you do decide to have some counselling or if you talk to Gamcare advisers. I wonder is anyone else recommends this as a way forward?x

Also, another thing that helped me was setting myself goals for my gambling abstention such as 7 days without gambling = a small treat (like buy yourself take away). As the goals increase, increase the treats...I am going to set myself some goals and rewards tomorrow : - )

i think i might set myself some goals x thats a really good idea. a reward for so many days free etc will have a think about that one!

i cant let anyone else run my finances, if i thought it would work then i would but its down to me to sort that out. ironically i have an interview at college tomorrow to start an accountancy diploma!

i have decided at 33 i need a career goal! for me and me alone!

Glad you like the idea of rewards...my counsellor suggested it last time and it honestly was effective.

I wondered if the finances thing might be difficult. Again, you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

And I am 33 too!

Sleep well x

Actually had a good nights sleep ��

see 33 is a fab age to make positive steps!

here is to a good day and will check in later x