i want to be free

Yay, sorry I didn't check in earlier but had had a successful non gambling day!

i worked all morning and have been fighting with my own mind as i just feel? I don't know really down i guess.

so instead of losing my mind and thoughts to my usual saviour of gambling i went back to my old escape of writing, have probably just written 10,000 words of rubbish but it kept me occupied and away from reality!

anyway another day gamble free x

Hi Laura

Heres to another successful non gambling today

Well done

Suzanne xx

Ty Suzanne, cant believe the impact this forum has had, i like being accountable for my gambling actions here and the positive feedback and comments really help, so Ty again and good luck to you to on another gambling free day x

Hope you had a successful day!

Just got really upset about something and decided to do my usual mind numbing distraction, so i spent an hour trying to find a site i could still log into, however i did find one and although i didn't have a limit set i am pleased to say i hit the self exclude bit and didn't get drawn in. No matter what is in my mind i know i cant gamble it away. I have used the slots for so long.

I'm still really wound up but I'm happy that i didn't succumb to it.

Hi Laura

Well done on not giving in

Suzanne xx

Well done Laura for not giving in, it shows how strong you can be. It is difficult to fight this addiction but we are all capable of doing it with determination and strength, keep fighting and stay strong (as will I), take care Jaz x

Ty jaz & Suzanne x

i am proud of myself for refraining, i know i have a massive road ahead of me but having the control to say no at that point felt really good!

i hope you both have a lovely day positive day x

Hi Laura

Thanks for your supportive words x

Yes you should be proud LAURA had the courage and strength to say NO

Keep feeling proud and positive and strong and have a lovely gambling free day and WIN

Suzanne xx

Hi Laura....you are doing so well! Your self control was great at the point where you hit the 'exclude' button after searching for a site. Well done! I am going to avoid the lap top .... can't gamble from my phone so am sticking to that. I even thought about smashing the lap top but would have been awful to penalise my husband when it's not his fault. No-one knows about my habit ..... I hope it stays that way till I conquer this demon. Good luck to us all and positive thoughts. X

well, have managed another day gamble free, have had a really stressful day but have not once thought about going on a hunt for a site. am fairly certain all sites are now blocked/self excluded now anyways.

i guess i have quite an obsessive nature, if i read i have to read the entire book/series at once, i am picky about so many things, i started writing and have filled an entire notebook this weekend but atleast this dosnt cost any money!

well hope everyone has had a good day x

Hi Laura well done for staying gamble free, keep writing in your notebook if this is helping you like you say it doesn't cost anything. I am sure you will beat this addiction if you remain strong as you are doing now, well done again, Jaz x

Thanks jaz x

have just got home from work and have offered to start earlier then normal in morning so am looking forward and not blowing my wages at end of month, i really want / need / have to do this.

am actually looking forward to an evening reading or writing or chilling without the stress of gambling. Woohoo and I'm on day 6 gambling free x

Hi Laura

Thanks for your message

Very well done on day 6 it will be 7 days today one whole week of winning every day how good is that

Stay strong and focused

Suzanne x

Ty Suzanne x

today i have achieved a whole week with out gambling, for this i am pleased but am not complacent, i have a long way to go yet.

i don't miss the actual act of gambling which i thought i would, I'm not sure if it was the wins that i was after. I miss having my mind occupied even if it had miserable results. But i will never win in anything by gambling, I'm a winner because i havnt given in.

the hardest part for me is all the stuff that I now think about and its not not stuff i can deal with right now so am now obsessively working / reading / writing. i don't know if this is good or bad.

sorry my diary sounds miserable to anyone reading it but in just trying to make sense of things that don't make sense!

anyway today i have not gambled and i don't intend to tomorrow either. Here is to week 2 fighting for my freedom.