Hi
Time and time again I did the same unhealthy actions of being consumed by my gambling.
Just before I walked into the recovery program if a person had given me money I do not think I would have walked in to that room.
Once in recovery I questioned what were my feelings and emotions after having wasted so much time and given my hard money to complete strangers while I and my family went without.
Going home in the early hours of the morning I was filled with some very deep seated pains.
I was filled with some very deep seated fears.
I was asked to humble myself.
I use to think that humbling your self was a form of self abuse.
Now I understand that humbling myself to being an equal to all people in the recovery program was not about belittling my self or making me feel worse humbling myself was help me be a vulnerable person like many in the recovery program.
It took time to reduce and face my fears.
It took time to heal my pains.
The recovery program is about demonstrating being nurturing and encouraging to people who are more vulnerable than I was.
It was not easy giving up unhealthy habits, giving up smoking, giving up getting drunk, giving up drinking tea and coffee, giving up procrastinating, giving up being angry and stressed out, giving up feeling shame guilt and regret about how unhealthy I use to be.
The recovery program is understanding out unhealthy reactions and to live our life with out fear any more.
Healing Love and peace to everyone.
Dave L
AKA Dave of BeckenhamÂ
Hi
My addictions and obsessions just indicated how emotionally vulnerable I use to be.
I am a non religious person for sure.
Yet today I am a much healthier spiritual person.
My life before my recovery money and gambling was my main obsession.
Then I learned to abstain from my self destructive and self abusing my self.
Then I started to open up to healthy therapies.
My healthy therapies lead me to living in less fears.
My healthy therapies lead me to healing my pains.
My healthy therapies lead me to getting more focused on my healthy needs.
My healthy therapies lead me to getting more focused on my healthy wants.
My healthy therapies lead me to getting more focused on my healthy goals.
Like minded people were demonstrating to me healthier ways of living my life.
I wrote down my fears and over time faced and reduced my fears.
I understand that procrastinating was very unhealthy for me.
I understand that being hard on myself was very unhealthy for me.
I understand that living in fear was disabling me from becoming a content proud person.
Healing love and Peace to everyone.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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