I will never win because I cannot stop

Good man - you can do this.

There's no second chances mate. It's now or never. I've had a couple of slips and the feeling after them is unbearable. I'm going to use that as my motivation. Will keep posting on here to remember what it's all about.

Hi Husky,

I too was a big time FOBT player. Mainly Roulette but have also lost big time on every other game on them.

Im almost 200 days gamble free. Amazingly 6 paydays without spending a penny on any gambling (I also gambled on football, sometimes horseracing.

Maybe have a read through my diary... you can change your life around. Sure, im still in debt but I know for a fact without all those gamble free days things would be a lot worse. Im also emotionally and mentally more stable. My addiction is not consuming all my free time.

Its not easy but once you get those days stacking up you should find that you get more and more determined to stay on the right path.

All the best.

Mark

Thanks for the sound advice Sonicboom!

50 day challenge starts today. Healthier living for mind body and soul!

Healthier lifestyle choices:

1. Better Diet

2. More exercise

3. No gambling

Day 5

Pleased with myself today. Was in the City centre where temptation is all around but although I was aware of that I had no inclination or interest to go in. Went to the gym after work as well and ran a good 6.25 miles so endorphins are up and bank balance is intact. All In all a fairly successful Wednesday. Roll on tomorrow and day 2 of my 60 day life detox.

Allo HuskyDawg....sorry not been on for a while mate, been flat out at work, sorry to see you have fallen off the wagon a couple of times.....knocked down seven times, get up eight....simple as that mate, keep on keeping on. It took me many many failed attempts and slip ups to get to the mindset I now have, and I have really bad days aswell... But we simply cannot win mate, ever, the money has gone and will continue to just go unless we pack it in, permanent....use it as a timely reminder that we must all stay on top of it at all times, it's such a ba***** of an addiction, don't be too hard on yourself, cracking run today mate, good choice......you'll look better for a 6 miler than you would after an emotional 10 rounder with the bookies!!

Day 2 of my 50 Day Challenge.

Up bright and early with a good healthy breakfast. Going down the fit body fit mind route. Natural endorphins all the way. Gambling can't and won't dictate or play any part of my life anymore.

PG31 thanks for your continued support and advice. 5 mile run done. I am getting as many natural endorphins into my body as I physically can. Healthy body and mind. I'm now fighting this addiction head on and for once in a long time I feel equipped to not only fight it but to beat it! It's a marathon not a sprint.

Day 3 of my 50 Day challenge (Day 7 on the wagon). Training definitely helps to focus the mind and banish the gambling blues. 5 mile interval run completed and ready for the day ahead. I might not be there yet but I'm closer than I was yesterday!

What will fix you, mostly mentally, is taking your power back, locking the door, and dropping the key in the deepest ocean. Never look back on your old way of thinking that robbed you of control over your situation. You’re not a victim. Don’t quit on yourself.

Day 4 of my 50 Day Challenge (day 8 on the wagon). 4 mile run completed, sore but determined to maintain this life change. Family day out today to keep the blues firmly banished. My gambling life is over!

Day 9 on the wagon and no urges to play roulette. That is pleasing. I know the urges will never fully go away but I am in a better place now and I am better equipped to maintain my abstinence.

Hi Huskydawg. Im on day 6. fobt at the bookies is my weakness. just gonna say dont stop at day 50. People like us can never gamble again, not even a scratchcard, my best spell away from gaming was about four months in 2013, the urges got easier but then you have blips. this year i have done 43 days gamble free and 12 days gamble free, so i m a long way off those milestones but i need to force through and keep the remainder of 2015 fobt free, the rewards of doing this will make a huge difference. Keep strong and stay away from bookies.

For some reason today I've gone and gambled again. Had been doing so well and now back to square one. Lost £700 in about two hours. No excuses from me just immense disappointment. Will have to sit down and consider my options. Apologies to everyone (again). Sitting here now feeling empty. Two weeks of positivity obliterated in 2 hours of madness. I've been working and training so hard and I feel pretty low at the moment. To all those that have supported me on here I apologise.

Went for a run to clear my head. I'm annoyed at myself because I had gone 12 days without succumbing to temptation or thinking about temptation. I felt a lot happier within myself and the storm clouds were clearing. I gambled today simply because I finished work early and was coming home to an empty house. I had no inclination to gamble until my journey home. The thought entered my head and I got that sickly butterfly feeling in my stomach. I stopped at a bookmakers and lifted out £100. I lost that then lifted out another £100. Again I lost that. I lifted out a further £250.00 and another £250.00 and lost it all in a out 2 hours. Did I feel better after playing? No. Did I enjoy the experience? No. I had gone 12 days without even the notion of gambling. I just wish I could've dodged that feeling or at least overcame it. I am now £700 poorer off and I'm left with the sinking feeling of having to go again. I know I've tried and failed a lot of times but each time I genuinely feel I am getting stronger. A lot of people might doubt that and I have given them no reason to think I can beat this but I have faith in my ability to have a gamble free life. Tomorrow is a new day. Today I have confirmed that I have a long way to go and the road has another setback. Everyone around me including my children deserve a lot better from me. I need to remember them as I start on my road again. Those who have supported me please keep the faith.

You wish you could jump in a big hole GT and never get back out again. Im determined to beat them and although I've fallen off the wagon a few times each time I've learnt a bit about myself and what my struggles are! I've got to beat this mate as the only alternative is complete ruination, desolation and extinction.