I will never win because I cannot stop

Hi Huskeydawg,

Congratulations on your day 5. I hope that you will have a good day and wish you strength!

I wondered whether you might prefer to continue on the recovery diary you already started earlier? If you want to, we can also move this thread into the recovery diary section for you and you can continue this as a second diary thread? It reads like a diary and it would be a good place to record your day by day entries.

Kind wishes

Gabriele

Yes Gabrielle that'll do fine. Thanks for the encouragement also.

Watching 'Britain in the bookies' tonight on BBC1 and a number of things have struck me. Firstly the manager of the betting shop featured does not gamble himself. That reaffirms how much of a mugs game it is. He clearly sees the damage it causes on a daily basis and the fact that there are a lot more losers than winners. The owner of the firm featured looked extremely smug when he said the FOBT's take in on average £5000 per week per shop. I on a bad day was capable of losing £1000 a day on these, therefore boosting their profits! The programme has had both a sobering effect and caused me anger to see the misfortune that these machines cause to people. I don't want to line the pockets of these corporate bigwigs anymore. I work too hard to feed all my wages into a machine that drains my money like water down a plug hole. They have been around since 2002 so I dread to think how many working hours have been wasted through FOBTs.

Hi Husky

I read your thread before joining up and wanted to just give my support to you, I'm sorry to hear you relapsed but it's great you're back on the path. I also watched the programme and like you notes the manager himself does not gamble. Makes you think! Wishing you well and il pop back in soon.

Day 6 and another early start. Time to hit the gym to get the positive endorphins pumping on a Tuesday. Thanks Elise for the post. Appreciate the support. Today's a new day. I'm not there yet but I'm closer than I was yesterday! I will not gamble today.

Well done on 6 days,

Keep strong

Suzanne xx

Thanks Suzanne. A long way to go but on the path at least.

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Hi huskydawg, how's it going mate?? Listen, don't beat yourself up too much. Never stop stopping......this is my best spell ever but I fell off the wagon more times than George best, one day that urge will be replaced with fear, and an appetite to do something more positive with your time....it's not easy, for any of us, and use every blip as a lesson, we all struggle, I do regularly, but you just have to keep putting tools in place.

mate how are you getting into a local bookies so near to your home?? Come on, exclude, beat the b******s at there own game, I have no doubt, not one, I would of done EXACTLY what you did, a hundred times over, if I had not excluded.....you have to keep putting hurdles up, remember the triangle.

i hope you are keeping well, come a long way buddy, keep running and remember that first post you put on!!! You're twenty times better than that person already mate, keep on keeping on, however long, or however many attempts.....you will win!!

I done a ten miler after a weeks all inclusive holiday.....I looked like my bank balance back in the day.....a state.

Joy divider I can completely empathise with your position. I can't believe I allowed myself to end up in the position I find myself. For years I did the odd weekend football bet but once I got hooked on FOBT there was no limit to my losses and each day became a betting day. I won plenty but I kept going back and lost winnings plus more chasing. My family and friends are all aware of my issues and I feel better being honest instead of lying and keeping everything secret. I am now taking each day as it comes and not setting unachievable targets. I want to enjoy my money again and leave a legacy for my 3 boys. Gambling for me was a destructive influence on my life. It's still early days but even now I feel more settled and a lot calmer. A lot of the stress and hectic aspects of my life are gone. I have a self imposed austerity period of 12 months but after that the majority of my gambling debts will be gone. I want to achieve this to prove to everyone and myself that I am stronger than gambling. People who don't gamble find it difficult to understand gambling addictions.

Joy divider........DO NOT feel embarrassed, I was, big time, I was quite a character in many of the bookies, and a few were a bit suprised, but not shocked, and were quite kind.......I always remember ODAAT telling me what's more embarrassing, shoving hundreds into a machine and walking out, again and again, or walking away for good?? You MUST do this. Get there for opening, armed with passport pictures, it gets easier........and every door that closes behind you, game over.....they are not our mates, they want our money, get them out your life, FOR GOOD......good luck, yes it's hard, but it's worth it.

Thanks PG31 glad you are keeping tabs! I will get there!

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Day 7

This day last week I was to lose a weeks wages in not much more than an hour in a FOBT. That was one relapse too far.from then on I was determined not to make the same mistakes. In 7 days my stress and apprehension has subsided, I feel healthier and happier and the shadow gambling cast over my life is shifting. Money has a purpose now and I am tackling my 12 months of self imposed austerity head on. Today is a new day. I will not gamble this day.

Hi Huskydawg. Yep the stress and apprehension levels certainly improve. Well done on one week, stay strong

Mary x