I have an addiction to gambling online on slot machines and I want to stop I have had enough. I did for 8 months once before a few years ago but life events took me straight back to my safe place, as soon as I cant cope with my emotions I gamble. I like the way it makes me not think I am numb and it diverts the pain I feel inside-years of emotion locked inside that I don't know how to deal with and the only way I have found to cope is by gambling. I am now recieving counselling not for the addiction specifically but for all the other issues I have which is and hopefully will continue to help me find other ways of coping with life without having to resort to gambling. This week I will be cancelling my debit card which will make it practically impossible for me to gamble online ( I have closed paypal, neteller and skrill accounts) cancelling this card will be a big step and I know the beginning of me being gamble free. I will beat this this time.
Hi Sunsh1ne,
Welcome to the diaries, and well done on taking the steps you have already done in order to start dealing with your addiction. Gambling is something that tends to prey on those of us who have other issues and things going on in life, and then exploits those aspects.
I hope your counselling is going well, and that it is starting to help deal with the other aspects of your recovery. Hope the diary can help you to stay strong and focused, and that you can resist any desires to go back to gambling.
All the best
Ryan
Hi sunsh1ne! Reading your diary gives me a sense of familiarity..I am the same, gambling even though I don't really get the buzz or the highs.. As you I just gamble to numb myself..sometimes I sit for hours in from of the fobts not even watching what's going on, just pressing the button!! Well done for starting your counseling and for getting blocks in place . Try some of the software that blocks your access to online gambling sites. There are a few which are free.
Also keep coming here, you'll get loads of advice and support, specially when those cravings hit hard.
All the best!
Well done. I can completely relate to your story and had been gambling free until life to a turn for the worse and I needed my escape. It never actually helps though, just makes things worse in the end.
Great steps in cancelling those cards. I wonder if I could manage to cope without cards? It may be a necessary step at some point. Been starting off with self exclusion from gambling sites myself but there alway seems to be yet another one that sends my an email with an introductory offer usually more than 1 a day.
Sounds like you really mean business. Good luck.
Hi Sunshine
Gambling is usually a symptom of an underlying issue. If you can face your demons in the safety of counselling sessions you will move forward. You will build a relationship with your counsellor like no other and trust them implicitly. Try using a blocker on your computer as well. Read and post as much as you can it will help. Waves come over you to gamble but hang in and you'll come out the other side better for it
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