I'm new on here and have been gambling since 2010, started off just playing small amounts on the online bingo sites but one day explored the slots. That is we're it all started to go wrong for me at an alarming fast pace. I want to feel normal and happy again instead of stressed out, moody and waiting for payday because it's all gone on the online slots. I've chased loss after loss. When I've won I've lost because I've put it all back in. Feel so stupid, hate myself and another night I cannot sleep because I find it difficult to understand why and how this has happened to me. I never started until my lates 40s. I have found comfort by reading some of the posts on here and the success stories and I really want to get over this awful illness.
Hi anon100
Welcome to GC ☺
Your opening post is very honest and i can tell how much you want recovery and normality back in your life. Good news is - it's possible!..it's just not easy to change the habits and learn new behaviours.
You need to put necessary blocks in place. Self exclusions, blocking software (k9 is free), maybe counselling would help you (GC offers free one). I had sessions with them and it truly helped me to understand myself better. There are GA groups round the country also...you need to know that you're not alone and there is help out there.
Limiting access to money is very important also.. this addiction is quite sneaky & when urge becomes difficult to handle, you must block as many avenues for that horrible action as you can.
New life is out there for the taking. Normality you talk of is something we all aiming for...whatever that is lol...you will know when you feel it returning for sure ☺
Take it one day at a time. Ride urges out, post on here and read. There are many inspirational authors on here.
Sleep issues will settle down, racing mind will slow down and you will start reclaiming your peace of mind again.
Wish you well & welcome again! There is no magic cure for this bad habit, however time and patience will aid you to keep on the right track going forward..Keep up the good work and the results will be definitely rewarding
S x
Thank you hopeful soul, I'm sorry to say I played today and feel gutted and disgusted with myself for giving in the the craving so easily. Clock reset and starting again, I know I can beat this I gave up smoking after years and years. X
No urges today and still feel gutted, off to Zumba class in the next hour . I can beat this awful illness, just have to stay positive x
Hi Anon. We're in the same place. You can do this but you've got to put the stuff in place (self exclude EVERYWHERE and create a situation where you don't have access to online funds.) you're not a terrible person but you are an addicted person and we both need to take the advice of those that have gone before us and succeeded. You absolutely CAN do this. But it's got to be YOU that puts the blocks in place. Also I'm wildly impressed that you're off to Zumba! Well done. Xxx
HI Being Present, sorry to hear you did it too. Thank you for your kind words, well I survived Zumba, nearly crawled out of their but only spent £4 if I had played the slots would have prob spent 400! still no urge as still feel raw from yesterday and my fall from grace. I've been doing lots of reading on gambling stories and statistics and was shocked to learn that a lot of suicides was due to gambling, that shows how bad it can get and I will get through this. I also read the serenity prayer which made a lot of sense. Good luck to all who are facing the same journey x x
Well done. You've done Good today. And you can carry on doing good tomorrow. Get those blocks in place! Xxxx
Thank you all sites are closed. Well done to you too x x
slots we my main vice. win put it all back and more , good luck with your recovery
Hi the slots was my only one and always online, would never go into a betting office, arcade etc,, when I think of how much money I should have now makes me feel really sad and ill x good luck to you x
Day 3 and all good, just got back from a 2.5 mile walk straight after I got in from work. Just checked emails and deleted anything related to slots and bingo, feeling positive x
hi very important thread's 2 & 5 on this diary, access to on-line funds. while telling myself i would never use my debit card again, over 8 weeks i amassed £K6 from one bookies FOTB:, 17 days ago same bookie was up £300, after depositing 2000.00 take it no, went home logged on to a brand new casino, got up £K4, took it no, then the red mist decended, lost 10 years savings over 6 hour binge, i could only do this becasue the funds were there, if they had been in a locked up account i could not have ruined my financial future. take note, when the gambling mist decends, you will do anything to get your deposits back
Thank you for your honest account, you have made me feel even more determined to crack this. I wish you well and please keep in touch to help spur me on and I will do the same for you if I can.
Well done on admitting you have a problem and looking for help and advice.I hope you really have put those blocks in place for these websites,self excluded etc It's hard to just forget about things but use the loss of money and the horrible gut wrenching feelings as motivation never to give them another penny and never to go back and feel so low. Your doing the right things keeping busy and keep posting it does help especially in the early stages. The people on here are great and a great source of advice and encouragement. If you feel you may need that extra spur in your gf quest you could also seek counselling. It may not be for you but is a useful tool in your recovery because as compulsive gamblers the urge will come back and hopefully we have the tools and mindset to resist. Keep up the positivity and the focus and you'll be ok. I wish you well on your journey 🙂
HI anon , thanks for the post . So you read my diary eh ? , well that must have put you to sleep , theres a few good bits in there but generally it's full of funny chats with people , I deleted my first diary in a moment of stupidness some months ago and kinda regret it now as that really showed it from the start .
You can achieve anything you want to and if that something is stopping gambling then , it's no different you just have to want to enough , accept its all gone and stop chasing the losses , that way there's nothing to go after , nothing to drag you back to gambling.
The early days are a bit of a struggle , your minds all over the place and you cant think straight but give it a while and things tend to settle down and you realise that you can live without gambling in your life .
Your doing fine , just do it one day at a time , little steps :))
I'm always about so if you need a chat then drop by , I'll wish you well and talk to you soon .
Best wishes Alan
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