Hi everyone, this is a very long story, but it might help me find out why this all started.
I was 20 about to become engaged to the so called love of my life. I remember one of my colleagues came into to work one day and said she had won some money on a bingo site and every couple of days she'd come in and tell us about her wins, I thought I'd give this a little go with a ВЈ10er and be done, just to see if I could maybe win something ( biggest mistake of my life) well to my surprise I did win a small amount, so I carried on and started having a go on the online slot machines aswell as the bingo. That was it for a little while. Then I started seeing free sign up bingo promotions in the post, on emails, adverts on the Internet, thought I'd sign up as they gave you some free bingo bonuses, some were lucky others not so much, but I continued. On my 21st birthday he did it, he put a ring on my finger, I was the happiest girl alive. We started planning our future together but then I started feeling lonely, didn't see my friends as much, got moaned at for going out and having a drink with my mum and stepdad after work, one drink on one work night maybe a couple of times a month, he then started telling me that my friends were being controlled by their partners, blinded by love it was actually me, so late at night I started finding myself gambling as this was my way to forget about everything going on in my life at the time. 2 years later I finally came to my senses and plucked up the courage to split up with him, he never knew about my gambling addiction, I probably lost about ВЈ500-£1k. It doesn't end there though. I probably had a small overdraft at the time that I'd be in and out of but always paid it back on payday and one credit card which I never used for gambling.
Later that year this guy was coming into my work everyday for his lunch, o I had the hots for him lol, little did I know he really liked me, a few months went by, we started going on dates, eventually got together, more months went by and I've moved 80 miles away to be with him and start a new life, got a transfer with work so everything was going good, ( anyone reading this keep in mind that I work 15 miles away from my home, so I have to drive, just remember that lol). On our first new years eve we confessed about anything that we had done which we regret, he had his confession (nothing bad just money related) and I told him about my gambling, we put it behind us and started a new year fresh together. We both got a bit happy spending money if I'm honest but was ok to repay it all back.
I eventually changed my job as the one I transferred with started getting extremely stressful and I felt pushed out of the door, 6 years of hard work I put into that, I did absolutely nothing wrong, I just obviously wasn't who they wanted anymore, I started feeling depressed about this and started gambling again, I'd come home in tears, go to work feeling sick, couldn't eat, I just wanted out of that job but had to make money somehow so thought I could win some, I probably lost more than I won. Luckily I found my dream job (which is still in the same area so 15miles from home), not a great pay but pretty much the same as what I was on at my old job, so the gambling stopped. I felt happy, new people, new atmosphere, new everything. The only thing was I still didn't know anyone in my local area, so new friends were only at work. I did end up taking out a few bank loans in those couple of years to get a new car, pay off catalogue and treat us to a holiday, everything was going ok.
September 2015 my mum text me asking if I could ring her as she had something important to tell me, ( I thought it was something about my nan as she is mentally ill with dementia) no I was so wrong, my stepdad, the man who had been a father to me for more than half of my life was dieing from cancer, I was speechless, I managed to go back to my mums every other weekend to spend some time with them both, I started feeling down again and found myself in the horrible place where I could forget about everything around me and gambled and continued, he eventually died on new years eve. My brother and I tried to support my mum through everything as much as we could, but she didn't want to be here, she almost took her own life but remembered about us and was strong enough to get through it.
I started seeing that I was low on money and took out a few extra credit cards to help with daily expenses and pay off other debts, after a few months this didn't work out very well, so luckily for me my partner took out a loan as I was finding it hard to get one, paid off my loans, credit cards and catalogues, so then I was down to one monthly repayment each month to him, he paid the rent so I didn't need to worry about that, just all the little expenses like food shop, electric, gas and I had a car to run. That's when the urges started, I have money, let's see if I can make more, when I ran out I started maxing out my credit cards, I knew in was doing wrong, I confessed to mum and a few friends but they didn't really seem concerned just said to me, you need to stop, I knew this so I self excluded myself from all the sites, I then managed to get a loan and pay off everything again, I was just about managing to get by as I had some large loan repayments each month. For months everything was looking ok, my best friend (who lived where I'm originally from so 80 miles away) gave birth to a healthy baby boy in August, then September she became extremely ill, she was in hospital for 8 weeks, I had little money to go and see her, I started getting angry with myself, my partner couldn't understand what was wrong with me just getting annoyed that I'm always miserable and anxious but I came clean to him and told him that I'm struggling for money once again, so he managed to clear some of my debt again. 4 days later I was planning on going to see my friend to then get a text saying that she had passed away, I was devastated, I felt regret for not going to see her, I hated myself, she knew I had money problems, so she understood, I just couldn't believe it, still can't now!! I was such a mess I didn't know what to do with myself, it felt like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. The day after she passed I had an urge, I wasn't myself at all, I gave in and opened an account with Mr Green, got some free spins and some bonus money, my balance kept going up up and up, got passed the wagering conditions nd banked about ВЈ800, still left about ВЈ150 on my account, I thought I'd just gamble this and see what happens, then I couldn't believe my eyes ВЈ10,000 for a single bet, what!!! O and I just kept going, I felt like my luck was in this time, over the next couple of days I kept banking it then reversing some of it, bearing in mind that the winnings that I already withdrawn hadn't cleared yet as I was a new player, managed to get it up to £16,000 slightly more than my annual income so that would of done the trick, would of cleared off all my debt problems, but everyday I felt greed and urges, I wanted more so I continued, I didn't care about anything as I'd just suffered a horrible loss, no family up here, just my partner and his family that he doesn't bother with so much and a few friends at my work. Within a matter of days it was all gone, I then started feeling sick, what the hell have I done, I could of changed my life but no, it got the better of me, so then I done something more stupid and started opening other online casinos with free spins and bonuses just to see if I could win it back, I now know that wasn't going to happen again, so now I've finally hit rock bottom, maxed out my credit cards, got loans to repay, can only just about manage to pay my loans, household bills, petrol and parking for work, I can't afford the minimum payments on my credit cards as I wouldn't have petrol or food shopping money, I don't feel like I can tell my partner as it's not fair on him, I don't know how he's going to react, I'm scared, I have no one I feel like I can talk to, I've stopped the gambling for good this time as it's put me in a massive mess which I have finally started seeing, it's been 8 days so far, I just need to keep it up, I'll keep you all updated. Good luck everyone
Thanks for sharing your story. You're in the right place if you want support/advice, just remember you're not on your own.
It's great that you've realised you need to stop for good, that's half the battle won, you've got to stick at it now, it won't be easy but you'll get there.
I'm pretty scared at the moment, I've missed a loan payment in December and multiple credit card payments this month, I'm unsure where to start or go with all this, I'm not one for talking on the phone as it is so trying to pick up the phone to get help for financial problems has given me some pretty bad anxiety. I've recently had letters from creditors stating they're going to visit me at home to try and resolve the problem, this is from the bank for missing one payment, I've never been in such a mess, I just don't know what to do. I'm scared to be at home, I'm out the door at 7.30am till about 7pm as work is 15 miles from home, but I do drag it out as I'm anxious when I'm at home, I shouldn't have to feel scared being at home. Any advice on where to start would be appreciated. Thanks
Hi Lucy! This will have to be a quick reply about the practicalities of your debt for now. First off, other than a court appointed baliff (which is a long way down the debt recovery road - if ever) no-one can visit you at your property unless you invite them to. It is essentially trepass to do so. So, please don't panic about that. Of course, you do need to face up to the situation though, even if it's not face-to-face. I would urge you to contact Stepchange or Payplan. They are both free charities funded by creditors and they will listen to your situation impartially and talk to you about your options. As PaulGam said, you are not alone in the sense of being a gambler who wants help to stop, and equally you are not alone in needing help with your finances. I was open and honest with Stepchange when I set up my DMP (debt management plan) about how the debt had come about, and they were very understanding. I suspect, it is something they are hearing more and more often? Anyway, that's it for now. Good luck!
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