I'm coming out of my cage.......

Hi mrbrightside

Thanks for posting your support and encouragement on my diary.

Your doing great , well done for reaching 3 weeks. The urges will get easier I'm sure and your doing well in resisting them. If urges are the worst we have to endure to get back to happier times then it will all be worth it in the end.

Enjoying your 2014 thread it's keeping myself and others motivated so well done . Enjoy your New Year

Babybluesky x

Hi Mr Brightside

Many thanks for your post earlier, giving support and encouragement. I hope everything is good with yourself and you will have a lovely time seeing the new year in.

Well done with reaching 3 weeks, I hope to say the same in 2 1/2 weeks time 🙂

All the best and take care

Amanda

Hi Mr B,

Just been reading your diary, congratulations on being gamble free for 22 days. The fact that you've taken steps (ie self exclusion) to beat this addiction for good is very commendable, although you felt like cr** at the time, just think of the benefits in the long run.

Keep it up mate, I'm right behind you and will check in from time to time.

Happy New Year and best wishes for 2014!

Dan (elproducto)

Happy New Year everyone!!

Thanks for the post Dan - best wishes to you and the family - hope it's a great year for you.

So Day 23 passed by with a few urges, but busy enough to put them behind me and not look over my shoulder.

Tried not to reflect too much - I posted on a couple of threads yesterday, but need to take heed of the words more myself....."if you continue to look in the rear view mirror then eventually you will crash into a ditch".

Onto day 24th and the first of the New Year!! Of course, it starts with a challenge and a full football card to contend with.........oh, and a bit of a hangover!! No new year resolution this year........just a promise to myself, those around me and my fellow soldiers on the challenge thread that every day I will wake up and resolve not to gamble that day....so today I will not gamble.

Good luck to everyone, special good luck to Sandra who I will miss greatly, a doff of my cap to hardtimes for being one of the bravest women I know and a massive thanks to every person on here who has supported me so far.

I'm now going to go and try to sober up........'cos I'm Mrs Sightbride 🙂

Mr brightside

Fella just popping by to congratulate you on your approach to recovery. You have done a great job in establishing the solid foundations in which you can build on.

The support you offer others is refreshing and well done for establishing the thread on the overcoming gambling

Section. United we stand in recovery.

Keep making the right choice for you, me I will enjoy travelling the road of recovery alongside you.

Thanks for sharing.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi mr.B,

Thanx for your messages, sorry i can't make "promises" but as long as you know i am safe and healthy, i hope this will do 🙂

Will b ok, no worries.I can promise to give my best shot at everything..biggest positive in recent days 🙂

All the best for 2014.

Keep fighting the good fight

Well done in your journey so far, be proud

S x

Thanks Duncs - really appreciated mate - the forum is helping so much and the encouragement you've given just strengthens resolve.

Sandra - I really wish you would make that one promise......more to yourself than me, I worry. Talk about getting attached!!

Day 24 is passed and while I'd like to say it was easy, there were a number of big urges......I think I'm going to have to accept that any time there's football on I'm going to be thinking about the what ifs, or the "I'd have taken that" or "I would have had a coupon up".......they will be my danger days. I just need to keep reminding myself that as a gambler, I will always focus on the "how much could I have won" versus the reality of "how much would I have lost". The only way to be sure that my money remains safe is not to bet. I do miss it, really miss it. I don't miss going into the bookies, I don't miss the FOBTs in the slightest, I don't miss the online slots or even the feeling of transacting a bet. But I do miss sitting with a couple of football coupons, ticking off goals as they are scored etc. here I go justifying again!!

On to Day 25 - last day of the holidays and back to work tomorrow - can't believe it's gone so quickly. Think I'm going to create a vision board and stick it somewhere I can see it every day. All the things I want to achieve in 2014 and maybe even beyond. Stopping gambling won't be one of them..........I don't even want to think about gambling........I want to think about the freedom that being liberated from gambling will give me. Much more of a positive way to think, rather than the negatives of saying "I don't want to...." all the time.

The challenge thread is a big help for me - might take a bit of time to administer it, but that's not a bad thing. I do take responsibility very seriously, so I will not let the group down and that's the positivity of peer pressure and loyalty. I will get disappointed though when people fall and let's face it, sadly some will. My focus is going to be that even if we get to the end of this year with one person, plus myself have made it gamble free then it will have served a hugely positive purpose - so it's about me plus one......not me plus everyone. I can't influence what I can't influence.

Rambles for today over. Keep strong everyone.

I'm coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine.........'cos I'm Mr Brightside

Hi Mr Brightside

Just a quick note of well done to you and thanks for all the support you have given me (im not the only one) and the challenge thread you are administering is a blessing for me. I agree with missing the little things- i miss bingo a lot because that also had a social side to it that I now have to make up for with other things. I will do something else- anything else- and one day missing it will be a thing of the past.

You really are a rock on this site and I feel privileged to be part of this recovery with you. Linda x

Just a Happy New Year and big well done from me Mr Brightside, for all your success over the last few weeks. You're doing brilliantly.

I relate to what you've said about the footy. I loved how giving up gambling gave me enjoyment back for things like football - there was a point when I didn't think it would be possible to enjoy a game again without having a bet on it. Now of course the reverse is true. It is so liberating to just enjoy the game for what it is without focussing entirely on a stupid bet. It is unfortunate however that any time you watch football (or any sport) on TV you are now utterly bombarded with gambling advertising - I feel sorry for anyone starting their gambling journey right now as they really are bombarded from all angles. When will the government learn that there has to be better jurisdiction over this? Anyway, that is a whole different topic.

Your account of the self-exclusion from high street bookmakers was also fascinating. It doesn't surprise me that the 'young lad with no money' bookmaker was the worst experience - I always found them to be the least ethical in many respects. BUT - none of that rubbish matters now. You're moving on brilliantly and you're going about it exactly the right way - day by day and with support. And I know for sure that today I won't gamble and neither will you. Well done!

All the best,

Ross

Well done for beating the urge mate. I have not yet had a strong urge, but when it comes its hard to resist. So you did fantastic to beat it. I usually work weekends and the lads are often all chatting about football bets so I try to keep out of those conversations. I love my sport and used to bet on it so I have to learn to enjoy it again without any betting thoughts or connections.

Keep the days mounting up. I have always wanted to have a weekend in Europe to see a big match, gambling always stopped me, but nothings there to stop any of us now from having achievable dreams and targets.

Hey everyone - really humbled by some of the comments.......really appreciated and encouraging. Just serves to remind me that I'm lucky in the network I've got on this site and the value it has for people like us. It's true though, you really really need to want to stop for you.......no matter how much you want someone else to stop, it's ultimately down to them.

So today is Day 26 for me. Not the easiest of days - back to work, ran out of the cheap foreign cigs, never slept we'll last night...........but not as many urges as a tough day would normally bring. If I'm honest, if I didn't have the barriers I have in place around access to money, or the self exclusions.........I think I would have been much much more likely to have headed to a bookies on the way home. However, while it crossed my mind, it was dismissed pretty quickly......but it was the practical measures that required to be overcome that first came to mind rather than the "I really don't want to" that I would have hoped for. Taking the positives......the drive gave me some time to reflect and rebuild some emotional guards that I'd maybe let erode slightly. One of my main buddy's speaks about complacency on one of her posts today.......totally hearing you Lou!

So when I am putting my head on my pillow on Sunday I will be exactly 4 weeks clean.......and not really understanding how the last few weeks can have gone so quickly. So I'll be giving myself another reason to believe when I repeat my bank analysis......4 weeks pre stop vs 4 weeks post stop discretional spend. Think it'll scare me out of my wits again.

Still strong, still want to win........but need an early night.........tonight I am Mr Bedside!!!

Well done on another gamble free day MR B. We all need barriers in place to beat this illness. If it wasn't for my mum taking control of my finances I wouldn't have gone 18 days without a bet. Luckily so far I have not had a strong urge to gamble, but we all know that one day the urge will come. Its about being strong and dealing with it. I think you dealt with it really well so keep the good fight going MR B!

Thanks Phil!

Dear Diary

Day 27 and the eve of being 4 weeks free of gambling. For a Saturday it's not been a bad day......normally have the gut wrenching want to head to the bookies around lunchtime to put on my football coupons, head to the pub a couple of hundred lighter.......4 or 5 pints later on the few occasions I'd won......and especially when I'd not......filled with semi drunken optimism (we'll desperation really).......I'd be back in the bookies again, coupons on for the night games, FOBT hit, walk out penniless hoping the wife wouldn't need any money that night and the bank withdrawals maxed for the day........then spend the night with an emerging hangover glued to an iPad praying that teams would win or score or both........then heading bed with the dread........cr** sleep and wake up on Sunday morning thinking that I had to get the money back somehow. And I claim to miss that? Wow, how amazing is it to be free of it?

So today I've woken up, looked at the forum, headed over to my daughters, done some ironing, played with the wee one for the afternoon.......not spent any money........and no worries about the Sunday morning dread.

My theme tune has been going about in my head today - I normally finish with my strap line of I'm coming out of my cage........however, the lyrics I'm singing today are how I'll finish today's diary............

"But it's just the price I pay, destiny is calling me, open up my eager eyes..........'cause I'm Mr Brightside"

Roll on 4 weeks........

Stay strong everyone.

Hi mrbrightside,

I have been following your thread. 27 days is awesome and, I can totally relate to the dread and the Sunday morning after feeling... I find weekends to be the hardest because that is when we always went to the casino. You are absolutely right. It is amazing to be free of the dread and the shame and all of the other cr ap that goes along with it. Stay strong mrbrightside. You are doing fantastic!

Well done on 4 weeks MR B! And well done on another Saturday gamble free. Just watching your lot beating West Ham, its half time and Forest have played well. So I hope they hang on for you and you are having a good day and enjoying a few beers. Keep the good work going, lifes so much better without destroying ourselves in a bookies.