It's been 30 minutes since I was on the phone to gamcare. And 20 minutes since I came off of the phone to my girlfriend to tell her id just done £500 in about 2 hours.
I'd has it under control for a long while, so I thought. I'd walk past the bookies plenty, then I lost a family member who's so close and dear to me. The only thing that could take my mind off of thinking about it is gambling. As it would, my first visit back to the bookies rewarded me with a 500 jackpot. Except I'd then go on to lose that and another 500 of my 'own'.
This is still a real problem for me, and I don't want to do it anymore. I've said it since I was 18, I have no value for money, they're just numbers on a screen. Nothing more. I've no control or concept of how much something is, they're just numbers.
So after paying my rent and saving £1000 (when I got started I knew I do the rest so I got rid of as much as I could quickly) I just don't want to do it anymore.
I go to Councelling once a week normally anyway but this is related to anxiety. Should I go back to GA once a week or every other week aswell? I do try and self exclude but they make it so hard to do , all these forms and pictures. And does it really work? Every bookie in London will immediately kick me out as soon as I walk in? I doubt it.
At the moment I can't control my money, so I've gotten rid of it all between my girlfriend and dad.
This is such a strange illness to have, I think so logically normally yet seem to want to play these electronic addictive games that cost me all my money.
Today's day one again I suppose. Back to GA and on these forums. Thanks for reading it this far if you've managed it.
Hi Lewis and welcome to the forum. You're not alone mate. Last week I've done 4k in 2 days. I'm the same, no value for money, when I got it, but do miss it when it's gone. Self exclusion does work but you'll have to go in each and every bookie individually. They do offer to exclude you from up to 5 shops in one go but that doesn't work as it them months to send my details to the other shops. But it is worth doing it! Keep coming back to this forum mate, keep reading and posting. We cannot win cause we cannot stop!!!
Hi Lewis
You say should you go to GA once a week... Ask yourself if you could get the same buzz from GA as you did gambling how often would you go? I would be there seven days a week. If it doesn't work for you try something else but at least give it a go and don't give in to the demon voice in the back of your mind. It wants you gambling, period!
Take care
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