I thought i best start one of these as it seems to help talking about how i feel and to vent, even if nobody is listening i am not bothered, just need a place to write things down.
My name is Glenn and ive been gambling since my teens, i am 40 now and it started out with fruit machines in arcades, then in pubs spending my wages in them and then i gave up drinking so pub visits become none exsistent so i moved onto scratchcards and its now onto a full blown addiction spending id say avarage of £40 a day which might not seem like much to some people who spend grands at a time, some days it can be more, some days less, but it all adds up and i think how much i spend a week/month is ridiculous. That money could be better spent as i know deep down i will never hit a big win. Everytime i go into a shop its normally a tenner i spend, 2x£2 cards and 2x£3 cards, or 2x£5 ones, sometimes i might spend more like on payday i will spend £20 on them in my first visit and then back to a tenner each visit.
I suppose ive done well to stay away from bookies and online gambling, i guess because i know what i am like and the road i would be taking if i went down them routes would not be a good one.
So day one then, been to the shop 3 times today, zero scratchies purchursed, ive had the £££ in my pocket for them but resisted the temptation, i sort of looked at them in disgust, so ive saved myself £30 today and feel good about, put that in my pot. Tomorrow will be another day so its a start and a good start which i intend to carry on.
Payday today and i normally go out around midnight and get money out the cashpoint and go to the 24hour garage and spend £20 on scratchcards. None of that tonight, have to go shopping 2moro afternoon, a couple of visits to the shops, will need to be strong.
Ok, i went out tonight, the misses wanted some smokes but i resisted the temptation, brought a few nic nacs and left scratchcard free.
No scratchcards brought, yes its only been a couple of days, but thats progress i suppose. Will things get better, will the wanting urge ever go away is the question? Seems i am fighting it and its hard, would be nice if there was a local shop that didnt sell them as they're in your face all the time.
Cheers for your replies, cheers for your help. Thanks. :/ brick wall
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