Its much,much worse than the last time!

Hi everyone!

I've not been here in a while, but it feels good to back!

Today I reached a different stage in my gambling life. I have gambled for 15 years starting with the 5p slots in the local arcade and onto the booking and online gambling! I seem to be gambling at a much higher level these days. The thrill of £1 a go or under just doesn't cut it anymore. I have seemed to have latched onto the £20-£50 a go FOBT games, and my god your money goes fast. Don't get me wrong the only reason I could afford it is because I won £1000 an hour before, but it soon went. No luck with that and with just £100 left. I then decide to go online a week later (last week) and £2-4 a go online which seems to keep me happy and won £2750. I thought at the time all my prayers had been answered and I could see the light again, but apart from buying Euros for my holiday at £400. I have not got anything and the reason there not spent is because I cannot physically spend them.

And now, I have done it again, I have just blowen all my wages! I feel sick! How can I stop for good? I really really 100% never want to gamble again! I know that this may be the initial thoughts after losing that amount of money but if I don't start now when will I? I have about £6k in debt and currently going through a debt management program set up so that I can afford to pay of the debt.

I even say to myself everyday "I can not win, because I can not stop" but it just goes in one and out the other as the "high" I get from this addiction is just to great a pull.

I am going to wake up tomorrow morning 5th September 2015 as my first day as a gamble free man, one day at a time.

I really appreciate your time in reading and I am going to spend the next few days reading through all your diarys so I can gain knowledge and tips to succeed and beat this disease!

Thanks, Martin.