It's now or never: Day one of a fresher outlook.

Hi D

Sounds to me you have had enough of this madness. There is an easy solution to our problem. Take one day at a time. It is a concept that is hard to ***** at first but once you do ***** it then it becomes a way of life. Gamblock is definitely the way forward. Self excluding from bookies is also very powerful. Try not to harbour secrets from your partner or close friends as the power will consume you and takes over. Counselling is a good way to move forward but takes a little time to build up a rapport with your counsellor, but well worth it once you get going and let all the craziness out in your head. Just stay close to this site for the time being and post and read as much as you can. This recovery is about you so do it for you

Take care

Hey Smiler,

Madness, yeah. You have to laugh don't you, otherwise you'd lose the plot completely. It's taken me a long time to take losses in my stride. I remember the first time (17/18 maybe) I just about called everyone in my phone book just to hear another voice. Eventually, I got through to the one person that I should have called first: my Dad. Was he much help? Naa not really but at least he tried...

Self excluding from bookies is next on the agenda. They may as well just knock a wall through my street connecting all the bookies to make a super bookie. There's really that many.

As for the television, I feel like throwing it out the d**n window. If I have to put up with Ray Winstone's big face for much longer, I'll literally bet my last penny so my power is cut off.

I'm looking forward to the counselling and feel that I'm ready to open up. It's long overdue.

This is all about winning my life back and getting back in control. Financially and emotionally, I'm running myself into the ground. It has to end.

Hey digi,

Well done for coming on diaries, you chose the right path to take and get u moving in ur recovery towards better future.

Take it slowly, it can be done.

All the best and take care

P.s. was nice to talk to u in a chat 🙂 keep it up

Day at a time

Sandra x

Keep up the positive mindframe and you'll win. The urges will kick in and you have to ride the waves. Your addictive mind would love you to crumble and say what the heck is recovery all about ... Make sure you keep photocopies of yourself in your wallet as if you do walk into a bookies you still have a choice as to whether to gamble or self exclude. No pictures and you'll feel obliged to have that little bet that leads to devastation. Hope counselling goes well it can be daunting but worth it. Leave as much garbage in that room as you can

Take care

Hi mate, one thing i do know is it;ll never get better, this disease of addiction will suck every last breath out of you. Counselling route def is the right place to go. Get your feeling s and thoughts out there, find out why you gamble. and like Smiler said take it a day at a time. Just for today i;ll not gamble.

Day 1.

So, I'm hearing this "One day at a time thing" quite often, whether it be ringing in my head or reading it via these forums. I've never been one for small manageable goals, tending to lead more towards "I'll be fit by the Summer" or "I'll stop smoking after the festival". In many ways, I am the king of delay even with my best intentions in hand.

Well, I did say last night that I was going to give up gambling and boy does one phrase spring to mind: "One day at a time".

What a struggle...

I have 1800 pending to come out of my bank account but I can still never quite believe it will happen if it hasn't by one minute past 9am. Today has been all about checking my inevitable loss and fighting the urge to chase it. Just this last while, I opened up my old laptop to check it's progress knowing too well that it will come out tomorrow. It was so incredibly tempting to deposit a quick 200 and chase at least a grand of that back. For once, I've resisted. I've asked my girlfriend to change the password on both my other laptop and hers (I have Gamblock on the one in which I'm typing on).

First big victory in my eyes as knowing my bank account will deplete in the morning is hurtful. Alas, I must move on and, going by another popular expression, "draw the line".

I am meeting up with my best friend from back home on Monday night and I'm going to tell him everything if the moment's right. I could do with his support.

As for this weekend? I can't wait. Why? Because I'm working, that's why.

My phone doesn't have the capability to load betting sites so that's one less worry. And I'll be kept far away from the bookies. Once the dust has settled, I'll be handing over my finances to my girlfriend for the time being as she can be trusted and she only has the best of intentions for me.

It's been a long day...

Day 2.

Woke up feeling still bothered by my recent losses, which, I don't think will really pass until I go gamble free until payday. When that day does come, I think I'm going to transfer that money over to my girlfriend (after paying the bills) and ask her to feed it into my account week by week. Or maybe just however much I need? I'm not sure how to play it yet.

In terms of feeling tempted to gamble, I'm fine this morning and should be all day. Working until four and then meeting up with a good friend later.

Had an online chat with my best friend from back home last night, sharing my problems. He's coming down to meet up with me on Monday and I know he'll be supportive.

So, with plans made for the next few days and support to be had, I'm hopeful in getting through the first week.

Hi Digitalism.

Cheers for your post on my diary.

First off, having read through your diary so far, I can sense the good humour you have. I too am sick of seeing Ray Winstone's face on my tv screen lol.

The "one day at a time" mantra is a piece of advice that's often given here. But it truly does help. Sometimes things can seem quite daunting if we look too far into the future. If you just have the mindset of getting through each day without a bet, it does help.

One thing that has helped me is to understand the addiction. Over the past few months, I've tried to identify what the trigger factors are for me. What makes me gamble? The first one for me is boredom. When I'm sitting in my flat listening to music or watching tv, my mind strays to gambling. Why? Because nothing beats the adrenaline rush I get when I gamble. That's a fact. Unfortunately, another fact is that my bank account will look like a sack of **** the next day if I do have a bet. Because one bet is never enough for me. Regardless if I win or lose.

Next, I would try and identify if there's any underlying issues. This isn't true for everybody, but one thing I've realized about myself since stopping gambling has been that my brain is an absolute ******* mess. I'm all over the place psychologically. Whether that's because of non stop gambling for 7 or 8 years, I'm not sure.

Keep up the posting. Sometimes it might seem like your shouting into an empty room. But, if you keep it up, you'll get more and more support. Another user on here has a saying. "Guard up." I think that's brilliant to be honest. If I could give you one piece of advice, that would be it. Guard up.

Hey man,

Yeah, boredom and having even the smallest amount of time alone with my thoughts have proven to be the killer time and time again. I'm full of good intentions though: Learn a language; Go to the gym; Set up a small business; Make myself dinner from scratch, not just throwing a pizza in the oven; Enlarging my social circle and so forth.

What I end up doing is watching Judge Judy, eating stuff from jars and doing about four and a half sit-ups.

That said, the better weather will come and with that usually comes a change in my over all mood/motivation. Off to try out a new gym this week.

And yes, like you, one bet is NEVER enough for me regardless of how my bank account looks.

Thanks for the message. Stay strong.

Day 3

Had a night in alone last night as my girlfriend was at a wedding and my pal cancelled on me last minute. I must admit, I was a lot happier in my own company knowing that there was no possible way I could bet in the flat due to the blocks I've put in place. Getting dressed and walking to the bookies didn't appeal to me either so I see this as a great sign.

This morning, I woke up thinking of gambling again even dreaming about it but I am not tempted.

I've been keeping a blog page for years now and really benefit from writing my thoughts down. So this forum is an invaluble tool for me. I'm doing okay just now.

Hey digi,

Well done on your continued recovery. Days will add up really quickly, you will find more things to do to actually enjoy yourself, and even new hobies can come into ur life in this recovery.

Boredom is one of the factors welcoming urges in. Always try something to do..even short walks outside can do a lot of good.

Day at a time,

Take care and b proud

Sandra x

Hey Sandra. Thanks for your reply. The days are indeed adding up as I can honestly say I've not thought about gambling the last couple of days. However, just to tie into the boredom thing, it's likely due to the fact I was catching up with my best mate and went to a gig and danced the night away - I've been preoccupied.

I feel like I'm over that first initial bump but I'm still ready to address my underlining issues. I have my first counseling session on Monday morning where I hope I can really open up - no one that I've talked to my problems about has really understood.

I've joined the gym today also. Having time with my thoughts in a productive environment will do me good. Can't beat a swim and a steam room. Free weights and treadmill? Na. Too much like hard work...

Hey guys,

I had a lapse today (it had been coming) and I have no shame on coming back to these forums for advise/support. It feels great knowing that I'm not alone in this. So, what happened?

Well, the world cup had been playing on my mind these last few weeks. I had put on a simple sweeper through work and had lost early days but I still managed to obsess over it. This seemed to trigger old thoughts and before I knew it, I had placed a twenty pound bet on the football via my phone.

Today, on the way back from a meeting with hr (where I felt quite vulnerable and open) I decided to pop in past the bookies and put a tenner in the FOB. Before I knew it, I was 200 quid down and officially skint.

To say I didn't see that one coming, would be a lie but I felt so helpless in it. I felt like I was on auto-pilot and this was my destination.

How do I feel now? Well, not helpless. It was kind of a release. That doesn't make it okay - I'm just surprised how little I seemed to have learned from the last time and all limits/rules I had made for myself were completely ignored.

How are we all doing this Summer? I hope you are all winning your battles. By the way, it had been six months since I had gambled in any form...

welcome back and hopefully this was a slip just be careful