Well today I feel on top of my gambling problem. I've not thought about it once (yea I know all you bright sparks are thinking well you must have because your typing this). But it's been the first time in 3 years I've felt in control of my life. I'm not stressed because I'm chasing money. It feels good I feel free. I've been sleeping at nite and not waking thinking I need to spin the ball. I go to work and think about work. I'm not thinking what I could have brought with the money or how much I need to win later to get back level again. It's good really good losing that 7 4 weeks and one day ago deffo gave me that wake up call I needed. I appreciate now what I have in life. Ok I might have list a partner but she was a c**P cook and didn't clean like me lol. Read my diary it will make sense. Good luck all. Xx
You've gotta cheek calling me a stranger in the midst of almost a week away 😉
Good to see you back & WOW what an awesome post 🙂 Maybe print that off (or just write it out on a piece of paper) & put it somewhere prominent so that when Mr Gamble comes calling for you with his lies of how 'it will be different this time' & 'you've earned it' or 'only a tenner', you only ever consider opening the door to kick him in the nuts!
How did you get on down @ the WI...You so could learn to cook you know 😉
Wot for? Wot are we celebrating? Have I missed summat? Saying that, depending on how far you made it along my diary you may well be feeling like you've downed a whole river of bubbles :-0 I've tried to wade through it a couple of times but even though I lived it, it's hard to make sense of a lot of it...Crazy that the crazier it got, the more sane I became!
Here a number 1 tip for your next partner...If you don't work shifts, make sure they do!
What for its ref your message you sent to me 28th Dec pop to Cornwall and crack open fizz lol. I did say I'm buying myself a treat on the 14th Jan. Well my treat is a train ticket to Cornwall. Lololol. To be honezt I'm feeling bloody good......
GREAT reward 🙂 Where you heading? You're after quiet & relaxation right...It doesn't exactly rival Ayia Napa out of season! I'm pretty jealous I can tell ya!
No I want fun fin fun. Drinking and party time
My goodness Brownie...How much did you read 😉
You want 'London Babeeee', for a parteeeee not Cornwall in the depths of winter regardless of how mild it may be!
& as for waking up naked, regardless of where...My eyes :-0 Clothes were invented for a reason (otherwise we would still all be monkeys)...Wear them (@ all times)!
Hi brownie in the same position as you my friend. Lost 45k in one hour beginning of December changed my life forever. Got a lovely wife and two kids and now I owe 55k and don't know how I'm going to pay it back. I'm not going to gamble again I could never win that amount back anyway. Told the wife she's still with me at the moment. She knows I've been gambling over twenty years but not like this before. couldn't feel any lower at the moment think it's going to be a long and painful road ahead Just thinking about the debt, I've know desire to gamble again but it already feels I've left to late now and I still might lose my family and home and that is terrifying because there everything to me.so I'm in the same boat as you I just wish I could smile again and feel normal.
Ohhh Browwwwnie, where are yooooouuuu? Please tell me you didn't go to Cornwall...Did you not read the bit that says it's not exactly 4G superfast connection in most parts :-0
Well well well.. its over 4 weeks now since i last played roullette and I think im deffo on top. The bloke in my head has taken his bang and f..ked off. I know alot off people might give me stick for this but i really believe thats me No more gambling. It was a bad time in my life, 3 years of hell and its going to take 5 years to get it sorted. back to debit free..... the last 4 weeks have been hard and Id just like to say a big thanks to all the people who have help me over the last month. so cheers guys I love you all.
Hey brownster!! You have and are doing so well. Try and forget the past and concentrate on the fab gf future you are going to have. You can buy whatever you want! Wink wink haha xx
Afternoon Diary
Well my life at the moment is good and I know 100% I'm having a gamble free weekend. I used to finish work on a Friday. Rush to get home and watch that ball. Play till early hours. Winning losing winning losing. You know the score that was my routine all weekend. Now bare with me on this one.....online bookies never pay out on Friday Saturday or Sunday. You have to wait for Monday nite for your winnings to hit your bank account. Cut off time on a weekends Was normally 10 pm sunday for must online bookies..... and do you know what if I'd had a good weekend. I'd always lose it before cut off on a Sunday nite..... i used to always think one last spin and do yiu know what that last spin used to cost me A whole weekends gambling and hours and hours spent wasting my time. Because I always used to lose...... you know the score.....
Good positive post brownie, and you have reminded me of how my online site used to pay out, only on Wednesdays, so the cut off was 11.59 on the Tuesday, to withdraw, My big wins happened on Wednesday (crafty eh) I had no chance of withdrawing on that day and waiting nearly a week for it to process, and then another 3 days til it hit my account, utter madness on my part.
Enjoy your gambling free weekend,
Suzanne xxx
Thanks for posting Suzanne xx
Well I'm good im out and about its bloody freezing. But ha ho. I used to be sat playing roulette now. Sweating panicking. Will I win will I lose feeling rubbish all weekend. If i lost . Counting how many wins and spins i needed to win back the dough id lost .... do you know i used to sit with a calculator. Say I needed 500 spins to get back to evens I used to count it down on a calculator. How bloody sad is that if I won I knock that spin off If lost I'd add a spin. not today guys I'm up I'm out shopping... I'm loving it no stress. Just me and a wallet full of money. spending on myself not giving it to some online bookie. Yep I'm a man who has now arrived in a good place. the bloke who used to make people laugh who could never sat still always looking for somebody to wind up in a good way.... wink wink. See that rubbish I've arrived a broken man ... will take it down stamp on it burn it. That man is no more. He is a man full of life.. yeeeesssssss oh yea and forgot little c..k. its been hard at times really hard..... take this the right way guys. My heart goes out to you all who are still struggling with that little man in your heads I mean that before people reply i'm being nasty.. its hard bloody hard. I want to stand in my home town now in the shopping centre. With a sandwich board. Reading was a gambler but not now. Shouting preaching. If I can do it you can do it be strong be honest with that man in your head f..k off leave me alone...... Yea I'm 40k in debit but 4ok in debit and happy. It's only money. I keep thinking pretend you spent it on a fantastic holiday. Ok I didn't but it helps me...... cheers guys I hope that makes sense. LOVE TO YOU ALL...... XXXX
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