good Morning to both of you
im joe im a compulsive gambler who has sunk to there new depths this weekend , i feel in mind anyway as i just lost all sense on control whilst at my friends house this weekend and gambled significant amounts on his sofa whilst under influence of a lot of drink & drugs and didnt call my girlfriend all night who is pregnant (heavily ) and we have a child . We had a major argument b4 hand and my selfish mind stupidly thought ill go have a binge instead and manning up and going home with my salary safetly in my bank account , the feeling of utter despair after the event is the most unbearable feeling , the restlessness , the dread the guilt i GOT TO stop as its killing every part of me nad my life , i need help so bad , that was the feeling i woke up , i then had to go home sat morning , i been playing it in my mind get a taxi , no ill walk home on the other side of southampton BAD DESCION 845am after only a hour of sleep and my mind reeling i thought ill take the rest of my money out and go into a empty bookies you all know and go again , sweat pouring down me as this money is for my children , food , rent , getting to work and back , i knew i was in big trouble when i get home and this addiction prays on u when you are weak and i ws totally vulnerable , deposit after deposit , had a win which would of took me back to evens , did i stop > did i ****? 15min later that it all gone , the story and my life destruction carried on and on all weekend i won,t ramble on anymore but im so sick and unwell and really struggling to carry on but the worst bit is i owed money to a dealer that i had kept back to pay (as he knows where i live )just to blow it the next day and no physically way of getting funds who puts there family at risk like that for a spin of a ball , its far from my first time i hit self destruct mode and now my own gf / ex gf / other family want to tell child services i can,t look after my kids as i got gambling addiction and cant provide , but i love my little girl to bit,s and still got a decent job so this is my day 1 , i need all your guys help , your post has hightlighted we are not alone we gotta to be srong or die trying
joe DAY 1 , i not ever made past day 3
Hi Joe! Really sorry to hear you come here in such a state, but that is what compulsive gambling does to us. Normally I would say that the money is a secondary worry, but given who you owe it to, that might not be the case here. I really don't know whether you can get an emergency loan or similiar or if someone you know can help, or (and I really wouldn't normally advise this - a payday loan). With this kind of situation hanging over you, I think you'd be better off paying the debt off however you can, because the worry is only going to cause you to not think straight and then go and do something crazy again. Please remember, these are only my thoughts, no-one is right, no-one is wrong, it's just an opinion. The next step has GOT to be self-excluding from all the bookies you can get anywhere near. That's an absolute must and if you have anything left, hand over your finances to someone else. Bank cards, internet banking details, passport, driving license, anything you can use to get money should be under the control of someone else. Who cares if it makes you sound like a little kid? It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is stopping you from wrecking your life and the lives of the ones you love. Give the helpline a call and get started and please post back here and let us know how you are doing. I certainly find posting always helps.
Hi Joe
You know all the things you need to do. Get them done and make this the last time this happens.
Thank you guys , i been so bloody complacent and irresponsible , im sick i will call gamecare later and self exclude from everyone , online my poision too , its killing me
hows you both ?
If it's online, get a blocker on there asap, K9, gamblock, gamban, betfilter or from your ISP and if possible get someone else to set it up for you, so you can't remove it. Call your mobile provider to and exclude from 18+ content so you can get at it that way either. I have taken a great leap forward this time by getting to counseling and give myself a bit of a pat on the back for pushing forward. You can do this!
ok mate , well done for that , i, going ring game care this week and get blocks in place ,im in terrible place metally the gambling and a few other vices have crushed me beyond words this weekend , just hate the feeling and my weakness to stop it , your right there so much you can do , IF YOU TRULY WANT TO STOP , i will be posting tommorow that im on day 2 hope you stay in touch all
Hi, so sorry to here what an awful weekend you've had. Is there any places with a GA meeting around your area? Or perhaps you could call Gamcare for a chat, as you sound in quite a bad way. It truly is an awful addiction and I absolutely wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. However, only you can make this right, by that I do not mean you have to do it alone, far from it. Plenty of help out there if you are 100% truly committed. All the feelings you're feeling now are awful and the majority of us have in some respect at some point been in A similar position: sick to the stomach, not paid a bill, let our families down hugely etc. Perhaps you need help and advice with the drug taking too? As that I'm sure that will mess with your mind and will stop you from being able to focus on what you want to achieve. I'm not saying you need help with that side of things, as I don't know if it's a one off or regular thing, that of course is for you to deal with and see if you need help etc. Sad to hear people in such a state, but you can move on from this. However, if this drug dealer does know where you live, I do think you need to deal with that first and pay him, if possible. I truly hope your week improves and you can find some help, advice on here. Take Care Cx
Thanks Charly mate, I do feel bit better and sealer debt paid still worried bout my rent hoping my landlady gives me more time and I'll be OK if she lets me catch up then I won't have any spare cash for about 6 weeks so I can focus on recovery hows u
Hi how's it going x
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