last chance

Thanks whatami.

And to Lethe thank you also, u may be right but I have motivation in my life at the moment and that's why I can't take your advice about telling her.

Not to sound like Martin Luther, but I have a dream, a dream that I will be debt and gamble free. A dream where I will not spend my hard earned wages on nothing. Or worry anymore of how I will get by. I will have a happy life. And most of all to my beautiful loving partner I will share this happy life with.

She would never look at me the same, I could lose 12k and some how recover. But I couldn't lose her. I will show that I can do this on my own. I know I will.

Today was day 3 and today I didn't gamble!

Day 6 done and dusted! Nothing to brag about at all but it's a start. Still I think of gambling. Even tho I have no money- only for bills. I still thought of buying £10 sratch cards from the shops I drove past. I didn't of which I am glad, however it was a consensus effort.

A little down as my money has ran dry. And it's 3 full weeks till payday. My partners car needed oil which was £40 not expecting. And I literally have nothin. Other than £50 which is for an a reduced payment on one of my credit cards I used from gambling. Thankfully my fuel is full in my car. But very stressed about it all. I know it took along time to get in this mess so it's goins take some time to get back out. I just wish the results would come quicker. Granted a week is nothing. But just wish I had something to show for it. As I am still penniless! I stopped gambling because of the debt and lack of money. It's annoying that it's no different even when I stop

Today was day 6 and I did not gamble!

Hi split,

You should be on Day 7 today - congratulations on a week!

Try and keep the idea of scratch cards out of your mind as it could just be a gateway back into this horrible addiction. Although it's a bit tricky if you are out and about as you need money to survive off.

I can empathise, my bank account is currently -£1.12 and has been for days (bare in mind that's after an £1500 overdraft...). I've been searching for coins just to buy milk and bread. Bit crazy but I guess this is what we gotta do. I get paid on Friday so things should be a bit easier. I'm excited to get paid for the first time in ages as I will have money which I can't touch. Will be a great feeling to have money but not be able to touch it.

Well done again on 7 days.

Don't give up split - you're doing great.
I hope you give the assessment a go. Sounds like it could reap rewards for you. Surely your bosses must consider you capable with them asking you.
Just get through this month then if you stay gf your money situation should be different next month and life will seem better. Don't skint yourself, if you can get away with paying over a little longer with lower monthly payments, I'd say do it.
Quality of life is what counts - we can only achieve a good quality if we stay gamble free.
All the best x

Thank you guys for taking the time to reply. It means the world! Very kind! Just wanted to make a note that I felt quite low last night. It's usually a trigger for me to gamble. When something goes wrong in my life. Or I am sad, or unhappy I gamble. Of course gambling makes it worst and never fixes anything. Thankfully I woke to some good news. My gas and electricity company are not billing me this month as they messed up the direct debit. So it's goins start next month instead. Delighted! That's £103 I didn't have. Granted my monthly instalments have now went to £109 for missing a payment. But it's a fault on there end which is helping me in the short term.

I also wanna say that when I gamble I never get to make the best of good news. For example a Pay rise, or a unexpected tax refund. It always just went on gambling. Last year I got a random cheque drop through my door. £310 for overpaid tax. Delighted. But blow it the same day on roulette. Same happened when I received a loan refund of £580 randomly. Blew that too. I am proud of my little progress. And have realised a couple of things in a week. When I am not gambling a can make the best of good opportunities! And not make the bad ones worst!

Also been reflecting on the value of money. As I clearly have none. I would sometimes do £400 spins at roulette. Now £20 pays for my lunch at work all week. Would love to go to the cinema with the missus, when I get paid. It's expensive, but £20 for a film is better than a spin of roulette.

Finally the next 3 month or going to be very difficult. I have 5 loans in place all with repayment arrangements. They total over a 1k every month. That's over half my wages. Plus I pay my dad a token every month. After 3month it should get so much easier. That will be a nice day. It's my goal for the time beening!

It's day 7 today and I am not going to gamble. Life is beautiful if you let it be!!!

Great post split....us gamblers happy to put hundreds into a machine, but £20 for the cinema with the person we love...what crazy thinking we have!! I am finding that being gf is giving me permission to enjoy money in a new way...so what film are you going to see? And treat her to popcorn or an ice cream 🙂

Rhonda thanks for the post. Not sure what film. Just will be nice to go out. Will have to wait until the end of the month until payday. Recovery is such a slow process! I feel I am wishing a lot of my time away as I want the debts to be paid.

Hi and welcome, your doing really well, don't dwell on the debts as this will get you down and may lead you to try and win some money by gambling, it's not easy giving gambling up but the debts will come down in time. Set little goals and targets, treat yourself. THe urges do get less in time, but stay focused and remember that each day you remain gf your winning, your taking control of your life instead of the other way around. Best wishes x

Nearly at the two week mark, been so hard at work this week. Cried in my partners arms to sleep with the stress and long shifts. How sad does that sound. Still gamble free, although had no time to gamble anyways. Kept off the sratchcards which is good! Day 13 done!

Hi

What if in reality you only had 2 options.

Open up and stop gambling. Or...

Keep the secret and continue as an addict

If they were your options which would you choose?

Well, these are your 2 options.

I've been on this forum for 4 years. I have never seen the secrecy route work. Have seen literally 1,000s try it and all have failed.

Secrecy enables addiction. Addiction thrives on secrecy.

People say there's 'no right way when it comes to recovery'. That's patently untrue. The choices we make, make all the difference.

Louis

Hi Split,

That is not sad about crying in your partners arms, that is what partners and the word is there, are there for. To share the good times, and the need to cry times.

Well done you for sticking with it all. Keep your head up, it will get better.

Julie x

Thank you for your posts. I am still gamble free. Day 19. Work is becoming so stressful lately there is no break. It is on the other hand a distraction from gambling.

Louis I understand from what you are saying. I understand that I sound like many others wanting to quit without anyone knowing.

I will quit, and I will pay off my debts. This is my short term plan for the next 18months. I will then get a joint bank account. So my partner can see everything I spent. Meaning that I can't gamble, and if I did she would know about it even if I didn't want her too. 19 days in. Just gotta keep doing this!!!

And too Julie thank you. It's the stress of my job at the moment. They have moved me and told me if I can attempt to sort the mess out I may get promoted. So it means the world. It's just very difficult. Been doing 14 hour shifts with no break or food. Gotta try and stay healthy- but have been punishing myself too!

Day 20 gamble free

Well that's 21 or three weeks. It's goina get differcult soon. So preparing myself. With payday at end of month. I have money, although for bills I could still spent it on gambling. I choose not too. It's such as impulsive thing gambling. Lately I have just been taking 5minutes to think of my actions when I think of gambling. I have no desire what so ever to gamble at the moment. Not even a pound or a penny. I read something that if you do something for 21 day in a row it becomes a habit and routine. Hopefully that's what I am experiencing. I think it's just a case of keep doing what I am. There's no quick fix! But at least this way I know that one day my debts will be paid. That could be years and years away but at least I know that day is guaranteed to come.

Three weeks- feeling stronger!!