A new member as of today...WHY?? because yesterday I came to terms with the re emergence of my gambling addiction. My story goes like this, for a long time I gambled , I enjoyed it, in fact I loved it. As so may experiences shared on this forum ( I have read quite a few) there are so many of us who share the same feelings before during and after the event. I have just had a terrible night asking myself why.. I let my guard down and became accepting and complacent about gambling and the effects it has on me. I have been here before, but the dissapionting thing is ...it was a long time ago. Free from gambling for 4 plus years!! and back to square 1all in the blink of an eye, not realising what was actually happening over the past couple of months, thinking I could control my actions, but guess what I cant so I need to realise that gambling and me dont get on, I need to end the relationship right now. My BIG mistake was to stop counting the days of abstinance, I remember the date very well 10th Feb 2012, the day my life changed for the better and the period between then and some time August this year ( never made a note of it!!) has been stress free and very enjoyable, providing a better stable fulfilling life, BUT guess what i decided to give the football a little go....just for fun..Big mistake, but one i need to learn from quickly, opening an online account was my downfall, but over a couple of months i realised this and closed it down and deleted all apps and gambling links on other social media (the one that promise you massive odds and free stakes etc)...Ok job done. Absolutley not i didint realise what that action had done to me, I had become accepting of the environment and culture, my friends all gamble (social gamblers who have no idea where it can lead) so I was in a circle where I had started to see it as the norm again, then i did it, I met my nemises..the slots...surely a £10 pound spin wouldnt matter...WRONG, it got me and ive had to confess to my wife that im in danger and need to go all the way back to day 1, yes its a shame but at least ive decided to act now before the rabbit hole gets deeper, no matter how much I tell myself its not been that bad, Im chasing!! So ive decided to STOP whats gone is gone and I need to move forward so this is day 1...all over again, yes it feels painfull, but in a good way i feel relieved to at least be back on a day...I stopped counting and that was my mistake, I need to be proud of my achievement all over again, this will be hard but 4 years is a long time away so I will just take it day by day.
Hi Aulternatives,
Your post is a salient reminder that this insidious gambling parasite that has infected us all needs our full attention every day, one day at a time.
One weak moment and BAM - its back with a vengance.
You've quickly realised that the enemy has carried out a skirmish and you are right on it, back to Day 1 with your defences up and on full alert.
You have immediately informed your wife, and she will be grateful for that and ready to support you. No hiding this!
You've realised that you need to keep counting and never stop. I, personally, will be counting until my deathbed (hopefully carrying on from my current Day 26!)
You're on to this, and full stream ahead as you tick of Day 1, and onto Day 2. You are quite right to reset the counter. All the best!
Hi mate,
Facing up to the fact that you have slipped after a fairly long time away from gambling is tough...my longest stretch was around 18 months, and then complacency snuck in. I think that keeping the guard up on this front has to be something for life if we are truly to beat the addiction and to have a fulfilling life. 4 years is a great achievement, no doubt that it shows you have the resilience and the determination to beat the addiction.
Hope that you find the forum useful, and that you can use this realization to kick gambling into touch once again.
Ryan
Been to the pub tonight, the scene of previous weaknesses, sat with my back to the machines, had a good night in terms of talking and socialising, nearly 1 day done, not over yet! Watched tv all day and a advert for gambling one in every 4 I reakon, must stay strong, I've worked out that I was 4 years 6 months and 3 days clean of gambling, let's go again
Went to bed thinking of gambling and woke up thinking of gambling, think the realisation of what I have done, how far back I have regressed is coming home to roost, I fell so guilty, how have I let myself have my mindset changed, once so strong and now so vulnerable, got to be on my guard 24/7 , I could do without this constant nagging at myself, but day 2 is here and I must be strong
Reading your post on your relapse makes me realise that i must never allow myself to make the same mistake.
I am 36yrs old and have been gambling for over 20yrs and had a problem with gambling for around the last 10 yrs. I must have lost over 20k over the years and after telling my parents 4 yrs ago they borrowed me 10k to pay my debts and i didnt gamble for 2 yrs, i too let my guard down and thought it was innocent to have a tenner here or there and as a result i have now lost another 4k and had to admit to my parents that i have a problem.
I refused counselling the first time and refused to believe it was a problem but i have now agreed to go and havd a session booked soon.
I have not gambled for 5 weeks and if im honest i dont have a problem with it day to day. I stopped for 2yrs last time no problem at all, but i am a gambler who bets big and chases when i do and your post made me realise that in the months and years to come when i am no doubt gamble free, i can never think i can bet socially like my many friends anc family.....this is with me for life.
Thanks mixer and leedso, musttryharder I have now realised through experience that it indeed will always need me to be switched on to the danger, it's in my makeup so I'm into Day 3 and I am confident of the daily addiction and how to manage this, it's when I'm in that state of mind then nothing can stop me. I remember now what got me through the long period of abstinence.... Stay level with no emotional consequence, by that I know how things went for me, gamble and win put it all back and end up down, fight and fight to get back level and breath a sigh of relief almost celebrate the fact I was ok,level!!! BUT when I left the house I was already level, so why put myself through that full range of emotions? Did I enjoy it? Not really I used to c**P myself, but the sense of relief was weirdly satisfying, so I don't need the mental stress of those situations, so every day is about being level, staying level , happy being level and not having to endure the buzz, stress, relief of the whole process... Today I'm level and I'm staying level.
First day back at work, negotiated the first few days of the new year well, staying well clear of the urge, mainly by carrying zero cash, can be a bit awkward but leaves no room for temptation, still level 7 days GF
That's the spirit Aulternatives. Keep strong. It is isn't easy but rewarding every single Gambling-Free day. Keep it going.
Hi Aulternatives,
I have read your post on staying level quite a few times now.
It really sums it up !! I find it very calming and it makes so much sense.
Hope you are having a good week & not getting too many gambling urges.
Suzy
Good to hear suzylemon and thanks mixer, tough weekend with lots of gambling activities going on all around me, but I did it stayed "level" I'm still GF and going strong, decided to find a time filling activity so went swimming!! Really enjoyed the silence and focus , plus had a good workout strange sense of achievement made me feel good about me, so off again this week, stay strong be determined and strive to stay level ...one day at a time
Still doing well 26 days GF, there are so many temptations all around so I have had to really dig in, Saturdays are the hardest with people all around gambling in various forms, I can't understand how society is so driven by these actions, I suppose it all changed with the eveloution of mobile gambling, no longer need to spend hours on the bookies just tap away at the phone, my defence has been to delete all accounts and all social media as I found the amount of accounts that try and influence you to gamble are relentless I have also had to tell friends I'd rather not talk about their near miss wins, at first it seems a little rude but after a period of time they realise that I'm just not interested in that type of conversation anymore , so going to stay level one day at a time
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