Let's give this a go

Hi Jim, you're doing great on Day 12; would it help joining our 100 day challenge (We Can And We Will thread). You sound like you're serious otherwise wouldn't have asked. We're a team who motivates and supports each other. Just drop us a post on the thread if you're ready for a challenge!

All the best, Mixer

Cheers mixer, I'll do that. Thanks 🙂

Day 24

It's been 12 days since my last single post the reason being I've joined the 100 days challenge along with many other champions that want a life without the sadness,stress and disappointment a life of gambling brings.

What's happened in those 12 days.....

Unfortunately me and my partner have separated which is really hard to accept especially when I visit and see my little boy all happy and him not knowing what's going on. I understand the reasons we have separated and I just wish I had tackled my gambling before it got to the 11th hour.

Anyway I will try and be the best dad possible whatever happens with me and the ex, feels strange to say ex when we have been together for so long.

It feels strange but even with all the s**t I'm going through with the break up being GF has given me an inner strength that I forgot I had. One of our fellow strugglers said something on their feed the other day and it's really stuck with me " life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it, I plan on using this advice every day.

Now I have some spare time on my hands after I'm living with a mate and not sat in a bookies all the time I've found out I'm still terrible at golf, but it's just nice to be out in a field for 5 hours hitting a little ball into a hole in the good outdoors.

To anybody struggling with gambling and reading this all the advice i can give is if I can beat this anybody can and beat it before you lose the special people in your life.

Catch you very soon..

Day 28

My very new life is taking some getting used to!

Nearly a month without having a gamble of any kind and also 28 days without a beer as I fancied doing dry January as well.

Between being GF and not drinking I think I'll be able to make a small dint in the money I owe on my credit card so that's a bonus. On the relationship front it looks like me and the mrs are over for good which isn't good and I still feel daily that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, but we are being amicable and I'm seeing my son 2-3 days a week which is great news.

I've moved in with a good mate of mine and the timing couldn't have been better as he and his new girlfriend split 2 days ago after 6 months together, the household is officially a relationship free zone ha ha.

Over the last couple of weeks I've been trying to keep my mind busy so I've been for a couple of runs and played footy for the first time in a fair while, this along with the no beer means the overhang on the jeans has gone. Bonus !

Not thought about gambling much at all I sometimes I need to remind myself that I need to watch that I don't get complacent and forget for a long time I've have gambling issues that haven't magically disappeared.

So that it really, steady as she goes I'm off to eat my curry and finish watching braveheart, might even have a cuppa and a choccy biscuit.

Day 38

For the first time in a long time.... actually as long as I can remember I'm not thinking about gambling on a daily basis which is definitely helping with my stress and anxiety levels.

Instead of thinking about winning money, which rarely happened I've started to think about spending my money on stuff that will make me happy. Spoke to a few of the lads and it looks like a golf holiday this summer is on the cards which is something to look forward to.

went out last night for a few hours for a drink, as I'm doing dry Jan I was on the soft stuff but what a great night it was which was a pick me up as I'm still not totally used to not having my boy and ex around all the time.

staying strong and can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Hi Jim,

Just read your diary and it's an inspiration to those of us just starting out. In my short time as gamble free it is amazing that things like your lads holiday suddenly become a possiblity and 'normal' things are no longer eclipsed and made unobtainable by gambling.

I'm putting £10 in a pot every day I don't gamble (£20 for each weekend day) which, if I make 6 months will give me over £2k for a family holiday which would NEVER have been possible.

Thankyou for the diary and for inspiring us newbies (Day 6).

Have a great day

Hi Phil, great plan.

Crazy how quick it mounts up and you start to see some benefits. Looking forward to walking in to get my currency from the travel agent as it's opposite the bookies. It's will feel like I'm sticking 2 fingers up to them. Stay strong mate, we can do this but it's one day at a time. Don't know about you but I worry it's going to creep back up on me?

Hi Jim,

Don't worry - the gambling isn't going to creep up on you. Every morning, you'll remind yourself not to place one bet - not even one penny, no matter what life throws at you. And life will, because life does. My attitude is: bring it on, life; because being GF I am so much better placed to deal with it...

And this is the reward. Being GF clears the mind, mostly good but it also shines a light in those dark corners. But being GF makes you stronger, able to deal with these things, and move on, stronger still.

Keep sticking two fingers up at the bookies as you pass; in your mind give the biggest sign you can. Are they going to get another penny out of you? We both know the answer - they can whistle!!!

Today, you will be Gambling Free. Tomorrow, you'll be just as, in fact, slightly more, resolved...

Grit. Those. Teeth.

Just read ur diary well done jim, adam

​

Day 45

Firstly wanted to say thanks for the positive messages.

So it's been a good week, dry January is going well and I've lost 4lb and it's really helped my bank balance. Can't wait for next week just to have a cheeky 1 or 3 at the weekend or maybe a few at the footy, I've booked my tickets for SWFC vs Birmingham and Forest vs SWFC (I'm a Wednesday fan) next month. My idea is to plan outings in advance so I've got something to look forward to and it's definitely gives you a positive feeling that your not wasting money.

The golf holiday planning is well underway, one of the lads that's going rang me the other day and whilst we were talking he dropped in which night are we going to the casino...... sh't didn't see that coming at all! I said we would pop in but I wasn't that bothered but the truth be known I dont even want to step foot in a casino and defo don't want to step up to that life destroying wheel of boom also know as roulette, it won't be a problem as I'm sure as the guy who asked is the only hardcore gambler I can get him off the idea of going and instead end up in a bar. I know people will stay just tell him the truth but I don't want gambling to become the elephant in the room, I don't want people to avoid the conversation whilst I'm around and to be honest I'm so far from wanting to have a gamble it's unbelievable.

Spoke to my old man yesterday, we've become close over the last few years and he's got a new girlfriend and said he was giving up gambling, my old man would bet on which way the water goes down the toilet. As a teen I saw him on the massive highs of a big win and also saw the other side, I do think growing up in seaside town and was constantly surround by arcades and people that gamble lead me into gambling but I should have controlled it when it started getting out of hand... hay ho that's in the past and we don't do that, this is the train to happiness and the train only looks forward.

On the whole I'm enjoying life at the moment, the re-mortgage of my house so the ex can move on and buy somewhere for her and my son is a little stressful and is in the back of my mind most days. I still feel guilty for the stress I put my ex through over the last few years with my addiction, but she doesn't seem to hold a grudge and she's looking forward to getting a little house of her own.

If I could go back 10 years to see myself I would tell myself that there's only 2 outcomes from gambling, you'll end up skint and alone. Can't see a half time ad on the footy with that slogan but it's true.

As always I like to end on a positive, since giving up the wheel of boom I'm fitter, healthier, have more money, a better friend and father and generally happier.... these all have to be good things. Enjoy the rest of the weekend guys and stay strong.

Day 59

Still gf.

Been a week of mixed fortunes, went to the footy Friday night for the first time since giving up, found myself talking to the lads about who would score first and what the correct score would be and the odds, after a few pints we walked to the ground and then as always we went to put a bet on, oh yes I'm not gambling. So I didn't bother, I thought I might win tonight but it the long run I'm never going to win and I know footy betting isn't my issue but I don't want to risk even buying a raffle ticket at the moment. Luck be it I wouldn't have won anyway, the final score 3-0 to wednesday!

Apart from the near miss at the footy it's all be good, very little thoughts of having a bet. Don't know if it's the mix of tv I've watched lately or I'm just sensitive to it but there seems to be a lot of online casino ads around at the mo. The lads holiday is booked so that's something to look forward to.

Family life is a bit s**t at the moment, a year ago I would be straight to the bookies to have an outlet for the stress but that's the old me. I need to find new ways to cope so might hit the gym after I've finished writing this post. I do think I'm on a low today, but that's cos I've had a great weekend so far, it can't be magic all the time.

Have a good remaining weekend and have a good week all

Day 72

It's been a few weeks since my last post and I plan to get back on it as there's a lot going on at the moment.

I don't normally have a lot of dramas going off in my life but it seems like there all coming at once at the moment.

The ex is now buying our family home, I suppose it's good for our son but it does feel a little like she ends the relationship, she getting our son, and she gets the house while I get a big fat s**t sandwich.

I've started looking at other houses but it's hard to imagine myself living in any house without the family.

Regarding the gambling I was at the football last week again, can't say that I wasn't tempted but thought better of it, think it was mostly the atmosphere and the beer in me that made me think about it for a split second. After seeing the mortgage advisor on Wednesday I started to think about these loans I have to pay if my debts, it niggled me a little but I see it as my punishment for being a d**k and gambling in the first place. I knew looking back that I would destroy my family if I continued gambling but the itch was too much.

Family stuff is getting me down at the moment, dad is struggling to find work and still not talking to my brother, we fell out last year after I lent him more money that he never paid back and we both said some things that had be brewing for a while.

In summary a bit of a pants week but I've not gambled so that's a huge positive. Focused on hitting a 100 gf and then I'll set a new target.

Thinking a hot bath and film might get my game face back on for the week ahead.

Jim