Dear Gerard,
So, you had a relapse. Well, OK, what's done is done. But why do you keep saying to yourself, "Why am I so stupid?". Negative self-talk is not productive.Â
Remember when your son was little and got a bad infection and you took him to hospital? Did the doctor say to him, "Why are you so stupid?" No, of course not. He said, "you're sick and we are going to get you the treatment you need to make you better."
So instead of asking yourself, "why am I so stupid?" tell yourself instead, "I'm sick and I need to seek the treatment I need to get better."
Your mind does what you tell it. There are many recovery options available and you only have to make the decision to use them.
Sincerely,
your conscience
Hi Gerard,
I love the idea of writing yourself a letter. It sort of takes the "personal" part of the situation away. You're analysing it just like any sort of diagnosis which can only be a good things.
Now the "only" thing you have to do is follow your own advice. If you do that, you will return to positive thoughts and self care.
I remember penning myself a letter when I was deep in the throws of addiction. However, my letter was not as clinical or as reasonable as yours. In mine I called myself every name under the sun and what an idiot I was and that I needed to change and if I didn't, I would ruin my life. Unfortunately I did not take my own advice in my letter and I continued in addiction for a few more years and I only stopped when my partner caught me and the full realisation of the damage I had inflicted became clear.
So what I would say is that you have identified the problem, you don't seem to be giving yourself unnecessary grief and now you need to act on what you've said and get the help you need to get your life back in the place you want it to be.
All the best,
Happy
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