Hi Guys, i posted last week about my journey so far, and how gambling had to led to bascially living in an airport for a while. Too ashamed to go home.
After this i finally came clean to everyone in my life about my addiction and i would like to think i'm firmly on the road to recovery.
I will use this diary to record my progress, but if it even helps 1 person then that will all make it worthwhile.
The though of gambling now makes me feel phsyichally sick, i want you to feel the same so then you aswell can put this chapter of your lifes to rest and seeh what a curse and horrible disorder compulse gambling is. I have lied, hurt people close to me, plunged in to financial turmoil, and i have severe depression.
I'm taking every day at a time, i feel that for every day i don't gamble, i will get a little bit of the old Liam back. The caring, outgoing and honest one.
Today is Day 8, and although i still carry the scars of recent events, i feel positive.
Lets do this!
All the best
Liam
Well done i feel the same. I feel physically sick thinking of gambling
Poblwc wrote:
Well done i feel the same. I feel physically sick thinking of gambling
Hi pob. Hope your recoverys going well my freind.
When the thoughts of gambling make you want to wretch, that's when you know your well on your way to moving forward. Use it to your advantage mate.
Day 9 here, still feeling low of all the money I've lost but another day without gambling.
All the best
Liam
Day 10, double digits!
Work then go home to the most gorgeous and understanding girlfriend ever.
Couldnt gamble even if I wanted to. And believe me I sure as hell don't!
All the best
Liam
Hi Liam,
Thanks for your lovely post and welcome back, and hey 10 days already, well done.
Keep making that right choice every single day,,and stay positive. the addiction simply hates that.
Well done for not giving up on giving up,
Let the past go. and concentrate on the day ,every day and you will win every day you do abstain my friend.
Stay strong and positive and keep going forwards, because gambling is such a waste of our lives, time, and money,
Take care,
Suzanne xx
Congratulations on Day 10 🙂
I too am here after a much less painful rock bottom, with the amazing support of a loved one so sending uour GF a cheer too!
Long may the urges leave you alone! Be safe, be strong - ODAAT
Thanks ODAT :). Hope your well.
Day 11, Not much to report really.
It's my turn to work Saturday today, which i'm not a huge fan of but it keeps my mind busy and away from the horrid thoughts.
No plans for 2n really, probs just have a quiet night in.
All the Best
Liam
Day 12.
No thoughts of gambling today even with looking at the football fixtures.
Not counting my chickens though, there were days last time i tried like this then one day I would finally cave.
On my guard this time, can't afford a slip up, both mentally and financially.
Stay strong folks.
All the best
Liam
Well done your doing great just take one day at a time. Enjoy the good ones and let the bad ones pass
Hi Michael, thanks for your words of encouragement my freind.
Not much to say today really except that it's Day 13.
Feeling a bit down today, got a cold had a really bad mouth ulcer which ain't exactly helping. Plus I'm working till 6 :(. No thoughts of gambling though, thank god.
Have a good week guys.
All the best
Liam
Well done on 13 days Liam,
Keep going forwards and stay strong.
Suzanne xx
Hi guys,
Day 14
Thank you Suzanne and everyone else for your continued support.
I called the local counselling service yesterday who I'm awaiting a call from this week. I also have a appointment at my local GP next Monday for my depression.
Still a long road ahead but progress is there.
Hope your all well.
Its sunny here today in the North East, hopefully my future will be just as bright if I can keep in the straight and narrow.
Im going to watch my local team Sunderland play later tonight. Still no urges to gamble, it will be nice just to enjoy the football for a change instead if checking other scores on my phone all the time.
All the best
Liam
Congratulations on your 1st 2 weeks Liam 🙂
Long may the urges stay away! Enjoy the footie tonight! Stay strong - ODAAT
Hey ODAAT,
Day 15
Hope your well my friend. Thanks for your enocuragement.
The football was a huge disappointment last night, lost to a team that hand't won away all season, ha, life as a Sunderland fan eh. No gambling at all, i did see on Facebook last night before the game one of my freinds had £100 on Sunderland to win and guess what he lost. I remember actually feeling sorry for him, and it really hit home that not so long ago that person was me.
I do sometimes wonder, what i could of done with the money i have lost in gambling. Travelled the world, deposit for house etc. But i'm slowing starting the accept the fact its gone, and let it go.
We can't change the past only the future. I read a quote the other day which quite nicely summarises the journey ahead -
' Sucess is how high you bounce after hitting rock bottom '.
I've made a list of the positive things that have changed my life in the past 15 Days :
- Happier mood, less anxiety. Positive outlook. Depression fading.
- Increased concentration levels, Better peformance at work, less mistakes made in my job role.
- More social persona, more outgoing. Honestly with people, no more lies.
- Better relationships with family and girlfreind. (More time to see more people and make amends).
- More sleep, better wellbeing. My eyes are no longer bloodshot from playing roulette at 4 in the morning before work.
- More money to do activities, treating my girlfreind that was previously being spent on gambling.
Just a few things to think about, hopefully things keep getting better for me. I have put my debt at the back of my mind for the time being, with the repayment plan in place, i should be debt free in just over a year and a half.
All the Best
Liam
Day 16,
Not much to report...
Hurt my knee playing football last night but it's nowhere near the pain gambling has caused me during my life.
Still on the wagon though 🙂
All the best
Liam
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