Lifer

Yo,

Empowment good .

Shame you missed out on the hypnotheraphy though.

I had it once to help me stop smoking , I still smoke waste of a £100 sqid that was.

But hay drop on the ocean compared to what I stuck into machines over the years .

Hope you get your kindle , you get to sample books before you buy ,you can read without the light on, ( well I can on my iPad ) , you finish a book and get that sad feeling you know that a long lost friend has flown off and left you . And with in two shakes of a donkeys tail you ve got a new one to read with out stepping outside your front door .

Bloody marvalous I say ..

So right now going to finish watching the Xtra Factor , I know not so perfect now am I lol

Then catch some zzzzzzzz cause back to the coal face bright and early tomorrow ,

Sleep well

Shinyxxxxxxxxxx

Againstnature

Anyone who has read ur new diary new or old should be inspired by everything u av wrote , from the heart so honest and with such integrity it will help so many in their own recovery

I now see why ur a changed man a different outlook on life and yet so brave with it and maintain such a level head through it all and with a great soh to go with it

It really excites me that ur back and better knowing how many lives u will change but most importantly moving ur own life forward in the direction u want it to go , I know and u know nothin ever will divert u from this

The change u av made and esp how just shows how strong u av become maybe not physically but most definitely mentally and for me that is what this is all about

Castle2

Hi AN

Thanks for your post on my dairy. You are so right about that NFL game meaning nothing to me without a bet. I don't support either team, in fact i quite dispise the Cowboys as i rember losing on them whenever i have backed them or the team they're playing.

Good to see your doing so well yourself and especially all the support you give to others on this site. Keep up the good work 🙂

Keith

hiya AN

Great that its all coming out now,.your thoughts,feelings etc in counselling....heart was squeezed of joy and now unblocked...cardioplumbing!

Wondered if youd get the Leeds Loiner clue as its a pretty old fashioned expression...lol...

My (now cyber bf) is in the South...a mixed marriage ..lol and hats off to him to take on this yorkshirewoman with scouse humour.

Sorry about your friends cat...its sad ...as we get so close to our pets...

Ok hun ..have a goodie..and jump around! (slowly)...sometimes I cant access other peoples vid links for some reason...

r and d xxx

ps...one for you and the Mrs...believe this is your nickname at home! lol

with love from Wales...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec3jIipfBqs&sns=em

Enjoy!

Hi everyone,

I have had an enjoyable today. Started with a round of golf with some pals at my local course. Improved on my last score by a few shots! Nice dinner and a glass of wine this evening. Settled down watched some paralympics, the England game too.

Gambling is so far away from my thoughts these days, I am lucky in that respect. It took total adversity to bring about a change but sometimes I believe things must happen for a reason.

Best wishes everyone,

A>N.

Hiya AN

glad your relaxing..also caught some of the game too as had tea at the local pub as I couldnt be bothered cooking.

For some reason I thought you were leeds...must be confusing ya with someone else...lol

I did get that break jobwise and am currently working my notice...so I shall be Manchester based as of the end of the month...just got a few miles to do still..

Saw a post about tarot from you ...I dont do them as such but I have the lovers tarot deck...and still managed to to pick the fool card..lol

The French deck sounds interesting and probably worth a bit too..I go through phases with other wordly stuff..Angels seem to be "in" right now.

I'd love "The Illumiati" deck...more like prophcey cards.

Right mr sexybum...lol...I shall hit the sack....wondering if your misses chucks her undies at you when you waggle it...(your b*m that is!).... Tom Jones style.

night

R and D x

Don't spend your life mourning something you have lost, go forward and don't look back.

Quote by Joyce Meyer.

Goodnight and have a great weekend everyone.

Againstnature.

Yo ,,

Good morning , well isn't life on the up for you !

Improved golf score , love that your tarot cards are locked in you safe . What other interesting booty is stashed behind the picture of a golfing scene in the lounge ,

You take it easy this weekend , you ain't on enough pills ( that make you rattle when you walk ) for nothing .

Maybe take that girl of yours out , bet all this gave her a right fright

Anyways may well make a flying visit tomorrow , but then who knows , I may well go safe cracking instead .

Shiny xxxx

Hi A>N,

I loved the quote! Great advice. I get your meaning about life coming along sometimes and giving us a knock on the noggin to kick start us back into gear. Glad to hear you are on the mend and love reading your posts and those to others. You sound like a real live wire! 😀 -joan

I say one thing and then do another. Give loads of advice but then can't keep a lid on myself. I have never felt better during this last week. Then like a bolt out of the blue I pick up the phone and place a football bet 5 mins before the matches start without thinking at all. I have later closed the account. w*f? What is this madness? Do I want to be in an early grave? Major setback. I feel disgusted and embarrassed. Day 1 starts again tomorrow.

Fuming! at the moment. Must put it out of my system.

A>N.

Yo,,

Hay Hun , you know what don't beat yourself up over this . We're addicts , and because of this we are likely to relapse at one point or another .

All we can do it the best we can do , I hope you can bounce back from this quickly , cause sadly if we don't we give the addiction more power.

It's great that you have canceled that account , I suspect it was almost an out of body experience that came from gods no where , this dam addiction really fooooooks me off .

So my dear dear friend , please put it behind you ......

Big big hugs

Shiny xxxxxxxx

hiya Hun

Just want to say put it behind you if you can..dont beat yourself up....take it easy tonight and keep posting ...just keep putting it down on here..dump your thoughts on your own diary....

Nothing you say is personal to anyone else so keep getting it out...

unconditional

hugs

R and D xxxx

Gd eve,-its a blip mate,all part of your recovery,you know you've done a wrong un,- I doubt you enjoyed the gambling experience and are unlikley to do it again in the nearr future.

The fact you are back to this site and have cancelled that account shows your determination. Chin up. .

Thanks people.

I just don't know where it came from. I have some rather expensive dental work to be done, maybe that was the precursor. I just don't know. As a person I have never felt so upbeat and positive as I have done since returning from hospital. Trying to run before I can walk again!!

I know it's always going to be there now. I have to block out everything, I can't bear to live my life in fear of it returning, that's why I used to get depressed. I have worked so hard to stop it and a moment of madness, it wasn't just a few quid either. Suppose I am lucky I never won because the merry go round would have probably started again. I must break this spell once and for all.

Sunday 9th September 2012 is day 1, I will only look at one hour at a time in future never mind one day. I will never underestimate the power it has again.

Thanks again.

A>N.