I'm back - thought I was at bottom in June but some good news (my job being made permanent) put me back in the cycle - on the back of that security I borrowed enough to roll all my credit card debts into a low cost loan. Next thing I knew I had spare money in my account so guess what? I thought my luck had changed so off I went again! I've now maxed out the credit cards again and my overdraft and even taken out another loan. After winning last weekend I really thought that luck was firmly back on my side so I thought, if I'm clever, I'll be able to get back on track. No I haven't I've just instead pretty much gone through my very last source of credit. I'm now at the stage where all my wages are just going to pay debt and I have nothing spare at all. Now this could be just what I need maybe, but actually I think I need more help than that but I still have this problem that I can't tell anyone. I don't have a partner which I think doesn't help as I feel very alone. I know that if I can take inspiration from everyone here I can start to do it. I've blocked myself again and put blocking software on everything I can think of. All but my work phone which gives me a double issue - one is I can still use it to gamble if I want to but I risk more if I do - my job! So I'm hoping the fear of the second will counter the drive of the first. What is luck though? And why do we think we have it or don't and envy people we think have got it? I've read so many diaries of people that got hooked on a win early in their gambling days (I did) and carried on either thinking they were lucky or if they wouldn't their luck would change. How can our lives be driven on that sort of belief? Its so strong. Anyway day 1 again but don't wish me luck wish me strength and determination....
Hi, I can relate to what you are going through. I have a Debt management plan, car loa, debt to both parents and friends as well as a maxed out overdraft and I to don't have a partner so it is very lonely. You and I need this time to ourselves to start putting our lives back together again. I know it is dawnting and depressing knowing that it will take many months if not years to pay our debts but at least we haven't got anyone depending on us, we can pretty much sit inside and just grind it out. Have you thought about an IVA or Debt management plan to put all your debts together so that you have just the one affordable monthly payment to make? Anyway good luck on your journey, gambling doesn't do us any favours, if only we had that one switch that we could turn off eh, before we lost everything but it doesn't work like that!
Wilsy
Good luck with yours - how are you doing?
Hi, IVA not an option for me - I work in financial services and it could cause me big problems with my job. I can just about I manage month on month, with absolutely no spare but I can cut back on normal things. As you say just ride it out. I did a spreadsheet with everything on and its absolutely shocking. I'm trying not to think of the position I would have been in if I had stopped four years ago when I first tried, it would have been great. So I have to think about what the future would look like if I don't stop and if I do - I know which one will be rosier I just hope its enough. Trying to think of something else to get involved in so I have a distraction - keep busy. I like that on your account it does the big 'days since gambling' counter - I'd hate to reset it although only having a 1 on it at the moment is a bit depressing.
Hi mate, i see what you are saying about the IVA. I'm okay fella, just have over 3k over to parents, car loan, MOT to pay, Debt Management plan, maxed out overdraft, same as you, regretting things and feeling sorry for myself but we'll grind it out, I am only on day 12 and am skint so can't gamble anyway but we hit rock bottom and only way is up from here.
Keep it real.
Wilsy
Day 12, that's great - I once got further than that but not for ages. Yes I was thinking about having spent all that money over the weekend and thinking having nothing is probably the best way of avoiding it - but I've got to get to the stage where I'm confident enough that as my debts start going down I don't think I can win again. I'll just be relieved to see the 2 coming up tomorrow...
Well, maybe we need to start thinking that we are unlucky when it comes to gambling!
Only one winner long term and that isn't any of us. Some people can play responsibly and walk away using it as entertainment but not us. Only way to have a chance of controlling life as a compulsive gambler is to treat it with the seriousness is demands of us. Put all blocks in place and work on recovery.
Truth is "luck" runs out. Odds over time catch everyone up.
Yes that's for sure - only one winner - especially if you can't walk away, and I know I can't - but I am now. Am thrilled that I finally see a 2 on my counter. A small victory but one nonetheless - goodness knows how good it will feel if I ever make it to the 20!
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