Making it work

Just sat and listened to U2, great music choice.

Good to see you relishing the challenges which 2018 will bring. It's not what comes our way but how we handle it that counts.

Feeling a real buzz at the prospect of a calender year gamble free, and I intend to enjoy it.

Wishing you peace, contentment, and happy days.

Thanks for all your posts to me in 2017, I have taken a lot of golden nuggets from your advice. 430 days now thats impressive I will get there and we can remember that it was the beginning of 2018 that I said it. :-). Happy New Year.

OK that's 4 days B.f. (Booze Free) following a fairly hectic Xmas/New Year, and I am also taking on the 'Dry January Challenge'. Furthermore, I have deliberately not eaten for the past 36 hours! - however I don't think that I'll waste away.. I've been swelling a bit round the middle and need to improve my health and wellbeing. When you get to the age of 50 your body becomes less forgiving and the years of excess catch up with you.
6 months ago I felt fairly fit having completed the Hull Half Marathon, but now I seem to be harbouring a beer baby, like a pregnant seal. It's no surprise with all the extra food and drink consumed throughout the festive period. Beer, wine, cake, chocs, Baileys, mince pies, advocaat, double cream... Perhaps an extra 10,000 calories. - And they've got to go somewhere! Although actually, I did show some caution and restraint.

So anyway, 4 days B.f. so far, and just like many other challenges it takes alot of willpower to combat successfully. Abstinence from fast food, alcohol, gambling, excessive spending or other lifestyle vices.

In terms of refraining from gambling - willpower plays a very significant part of the battle that many of us face every day. Although I don't necessarily have pressing urges to gamble on a daily basis, the scars have been cut deep and I know that I am only one bet from disaster at any moment in time. The problem with compulsive gambling is when we are actually in the zone (the gambling bubble) and taking part. Win, Lose, Win, Lose, Lose, Chase... Aarrhh!! And when we're in the zone we are helpless to control our irrational thinking. At that stage willpower plays very little part. But we do NOT have to enter that C.G. bubble. Willpower can be your mighty weapon to prevent access through the gates of peril.

Anyway, we will continue in earnest to create a better lifestyle. Look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves. Enjoy our hobbies and value our friendships and family.

In my quest to get fit again I have now entered the Lincoln 10K, taking place in March. No more excuses. Just do it! I have also invested in some new running running shoes and accessories. A major extravagance perhaps, but I don't spend alot on myself. The ВЈ190 I spent is about the same amount that I used to lose each month gambling. Therefore during the past 12 months G.f. I've saved about £2500. It kinda puts things into perspective doesn't it? I think that all recovering addicts should consider rewarding themselves from time to time as a personal recognition of their abstinence and resolution.

I have taken part in a 5K 'Park Run' this morning and am feeling good. More Jogging=More Jigging.
I know that exercise is absolutely essential for my own happiness and wellbeing. Happy mind = Happy heart. As well as healthy eating - I am now only eating when hungry, and not just for the sake of it. But I'm not kidding myself - I've still got a long way to go with my fitness and weight-loss. You just can't lose 2 stone overnight.
Did you know that a camel can go for 28 days without food and water.... But then, who wants to be a camel?
I am confident that this year will be a great one. 435 days G.f. & 7 days B.f. Although I had a bit of a wobble midweek - I nearly grabbed a bottle of beer and said - 'what the heck'.

I'm still trying to push the gambling thoughts to the back of my mind, although they keep rearing their ugly heads, with thoughts of: 'It should be ok to just have a little punt, just for fun.
But I will not falter. Not this time. Coz gambling has taken away so much from me throughout my life.

[Life Rules]
Listen•Ask questions•
Try new things•
Brush your teeth•
Clean up after yourself•
Know that you are loved•
Be kind to each other•
Always tell the truth•
Laugh a lot•
Dance & sing•
Believe in yourself•
Never give up•
Hug tightly•Be yourself•
Follow your dreams•
Learn from your mistakes•
Discover•Travel•
Create memories.

'We cannot choose what we are... Yet what are we?.. but the sum of our choices'.

Hello Changemylife. Hope your having a great weekend. Very impressed with your keep fit campaign. Healthy body ~ Healthy mind. Alcohol free January is a great idea as is your observance on a good diet. Make sure you are getting all your nutrients and don't neglect 'stretching out' before and after your runs. I see people in the gym weight training but never doing any stretching which causes them problems. Sorry if i'm telling my granny how to suck eggs.

I imagine it must be a great feeling to take part in a run. You took part in the Hull Half Marathon last summer, yesterday a 5 k Park Run and the Lincoln10K in March. Your also doing a very impressive job on the recovery road, with your gamcare friends. Very sensible to get yourself good quality running shoes, your feet and joints will thank you for that. It's strange how some people will scrimp and scrape on important things and yet throw money away on junk. I suppose as compulsive gamblers we were all guilty of that.

I respect your making a list of 'life rules' and looking inside yourself for happiness and self esteem. My concern is that my thoughts run away with me and I get caught up in my emotions. I am endeavoring to be more laid back, worry free and happy as a bee (a bee that hasn't been decimated by pesticides). A more stoic approach to my existence. To be at one with the universe of which I am a part. I am not looking for a 'couldn't care less attitude' but I am exploring somewhere out there.

Take care...stephen

Nice post, keep pushing and you will get in no matter how many people are holding the door on the other side.

Just a quick thank you for your continued support. It certainly helps and encourages.
Well done on your gf days, they are building up nicely!
Sometimes, in the quiet of the night like it is now for me, it's a bit scary to think that even well after a year abstinence the gambling demons are still there.
I have to give myself some serious talking to on the occasions when I have a few minutes to sit and think about my situation. No more credit, its my credit score which has taken a hammering. 'what ifs' crop up. What if I need a new phone, will I now be able to get one? What if I can't change my mortgage in March and it goes up from its fixed rate? The list could go on and on.
I suppose we just have to keep plugging away a day at a time and look at the positives of which there are many.
Anyway, I digress, sorry for turning your post into all about me haha!
Keep up the good work, 450ish days gamble free - you're obviously doing something right!
All good wishes x

I'm not really a sporty person as such. I'm average at running, pool/snooker. Slow with cycling and swimming. Mediocre at golf or crochet. Diabolical at tennis, darts and football, - with all the precision and technique of a haphazardly clown!
But I am a trier - and that's all that we should ask of ourselves.

I recently saw a motivational poster at the leisure centre that I would like to share. The poster had the following information:-

50 REASONS WHY PEOPLE SHOULD TAKE PART IN SPORTS

1. Increases confidence
2. Builds friendships
3. Builds character
4. Improves self esteem
5. Improves memory
6. Reduces obesity
7. Develops resilience
8. Teaches respect
9. Improves mood
10. Develops creativity
11. Reduces anxiety
12. Reduces stress
13. Reduces depression
14. Teaches life lessons
15. Promotes fair play
16. Improves body image
17. Boosts brain power
18. Develops focus
19. Improves academic performance
20. Promotes social interaction
21. Improves brain functioning
22. Improves sleep
23. Improves decision making
24. Develops autonomy
25. Develops stronger bones
26. Develops stronger joints
27. Helps to control weight
28. Increases energy levels
29. Increases attention span
30. Improves quality of life
31. Teaches about value and respect
32. Improves cognitive functioning
33. Improves posture
34. Builds strength
35. Improves blood flow
36. Improves fitness
37. Teaches teamwork
38. Improves learning
39. Reduces fatigue
40. Improves breathing
41. Helps to learn from failure
42. Improves reflexes
43. Helps to achieve goals
44. Helps to develop coping skills
45. Improves immune system
46. Teaches about winning
47. Teaches about losing
48. A way to experience success
49. A way to have fun
50. To feel good and content

#What's not to like eh?

Hi Change thanks for popping by. Without sounding wet, I'm not really used to compliments so Stephens post meant alot to ne, as doea everyones support. Self worth doesn't come naturally to be honest, gambling pretty much sucked me dry of anything positive. Glad you are enjoying running abd continue to strive ahead, take care Sx

Doing things you enjoy and not doing what you dont want to, sounds so simple, but most of us just choose our card and accept it, but when you dont want that card and everyone tells you to just settle with what you got most of us give in. It has taken a me a good chunk of my life holding that card to finally rip it up and pick again.

Hello Changemylife. Hope your happy and well.

Enjoyed browsing through your "50 Reasons Why People Should Take Part In Sports." Some people think of exercise as a chore or something unpleasant but, with the right mindset, everyone can find a sporting activity to enjoy. Swimming, Gym, Running, Exercise Classes, Pole Dancing. Belly Dancing (good one for you there lol). The list is endless.

I am reminded of the Paul Simon song "Fifty Ways To Lose Your Blubber."... Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan ~ Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me ~ Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much ~ Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free.

I guess compulsive gamblers can present more than one face to the world, but we can now choose which one we like most and make ourselves proud of who we are.

Well Mixer has started the thread for jokes and I don't see a problem with it. Just as love makes the world go round - laughter is a kind of medicine!

I remember a joke from many years ago. It has a horseracing theme but there's no intended connection with gambling in my thoughts anyhow.

:A trainer is speaking with the jockey moments before the start of the race. He says: Right, this horse Bessie is a Flyer, she'll probably be favourite too. Now I want you to hold her back until 2 furlongs out, then let her go! The rider acknowledged this and the race got underway.

Bessie was last placed in a field of 15, then gradually crept up into 3rd place. With 2 furlongs left the jockey gave the horse the nod and she shot to the front, and looked to be winning the race. All of a sudden the jockey was hit in the face with a tin of ham, - wham. Then a french stick whacked him across the head, and finally a bunch of soggy grapes wrapped around his neck stifling his progress. Bessie completed the course in last place!

The trainer was astounded. He asked the jockey what the hell happened. The jockey replied: 'We was hampered in the final furlong'.

Hello diary. Not spent much time with you recently. I'm ok at the moment but life seems tough. My working hours are tearing me apart and I cannot survive on just 3hours sleep. Dry January got shelved. Running seems like an uphill struggle as my energy levels are petering close to the 25%mark. I am existing in a zombie-like state for much of the time. Clearly I have to change my job again, and at the age of 52 my options are less. My project is on hold for now as my business aquaintence is suffering from poor health. I get demoralised and depressed and I know that lack of sleep is the biggest part of the cause. If it's not the job hours- it's the dammed dog that needs a wee at 5.30am. If it's not the dog - it's the wife's snoring!

Thankfully, I'm now on a work break staying with my Dad in Kent. And last night met up with my sister and brother to see the 'Classic Rock Show' on stage at the theatre. Incredible music, lovely meal and a good night.

Thoughts of gambling unfortunately keep on coming and I know it's stupid. I want to move on in my life. But as I stated before the threat will remain particularly when I feel like $hit and still in a financial rut. I guess that I need to learn to take the rough with the smooth and look at the bigger picture.

Hello Martin. Seems like you've burnt yourself out my friend. I hope you get the opportunity to regain your strength and get your mojo working again.

Yesterday sounds like a wonderful evening, teaming up with your siblings for good food and a live rock concert, I imagine it was a great get together for you all. Hope you enjoy the work break staying with your father.

A shame the addiction is still having a go at you. I imagine that on seeing you feeling a bit down, tired and looking vulnerable, the addiction might well have thought "ha ha! I might be in with a chance here to ambush Martin." Keep your guard up my friend, you have got the measure of the gambling demons and know where they're coming from.

450 Days gamble free today for you. A wonderful achievement in itself and you have also acquired a lot of knowledge which you happily share with your friends on the diaries. People looking at your journey will realise that we can overcome our compulsion to gamble.

Take care. Wishing you a good week ahead ...stephen

Had a nice weekend away. Beat my Dad 2-1 at snooker (bit of rivalry there) and cooked a liver and bacon meal with veg and onion gravy.
I am now in a lovely state of relaxation and calm, but am back to work on Weds when the storm will recommence.

I'm enjoying reading the Red Dwarf book 'Backwards' by Rob Grant. It's entertainment and amusing and I can't help thinking that Rimmer is so in tune with Abstainer in such an intelligent witty manner.

Here follows an excerpt from the book which could perhaps portray my nightly working experience:-

"It had been a while since Lister had pulled a round-the-clock shift, but the symptoms of exhaustion were as familiar as an old friend. Right now, he was experiencing the big gloom phase which always hit just before dawn, when he began to feel resentful of regular people, sleeping their sane sleep in their sensible beds with their normal daylight-hour jobs. Parts of his body started becoming forgetful about how to perform the most basic operations: his mouth would neglect its swallowing duties, and he'd suddenly realize drool had caked on his chin; his buttocks wouldn't shift frequently enough in the chair and sharp pains would shoot up his back, urging him to kindly remember to move now and then, if you please, because there's plenty more where that came from. Time would start dragging and jumping teasingly, so that minutes could last several hours, and then flit by suddenly in unseen flocks.
He comforted himself with the thought that the next phase couldn't be too far away, and that was the good part. He would suddenly be aware that daylight had sneaked up on him, and he'd get an adrenaline rush, thinking of being the first customer at the breakfast canteen, of the mounds of sizzling fresh bacon he'd deservedly consume, of watching the poor suckers who'd slept the night away dragging their way into a day of drudgery, while he wound his way home to the sweet caress of a sleep well earned, with sunbeams slanting on to the bed through the slits in his curtains.
He'd begin to feel special, almost more than human, having gone on when lesser men would have surrendered.
And best of all, he would feel incredibly hВ®rny.
But all that was hours away, and right now it was a matter of dife or leth that he found a way to concentrate.
Dife or leth?
He had to stop drifting. He pinched the skin of his cheeks cruelly, sipped again at the foul mouth of his coffee mug, shuddered, and forced himself to re-focus on the screen.