my betting diary

Hi,

You are such a positive and supportive person it realy touches so many people when you get knocked back, believe me if the amount of people who think highly of you were enough for you to obtain your goals you would now be the happiest man on the planet!! we are all thinking off you and hope things get better!

It is actually strange for me to see a mans perspective on troubled relationships and you have restored my faith in man - you are not all rotten, lieing sponging beep beeps!! lol I suppose women may have their faults too!

Make the most of your parents visiting, even if things dont work out as you hoped it wont be a wasted trip as they will get to see you and hear how fantasticly driven you have been!!

Its a new day - you will not gamble and because of that your life will improve! you know that!!

take care love linda x x

Hi wp.

Go and enjoy a few beers mate.You deserve it.Have a great weekend with your parents also.And i think seanos right....have a good heart to heart mate with them.Can't be easy things lately but look how far you've come.Gamble free so long and supporting others on here no matter what.I reckon that makes you a pretty special person on here.Its people like you who get others on here to find there inner strenght mate.

All the best and have a cracking weekend ye big old haggis!

Stay Strong.

Viggo.

Postie try not to get too drunk with your mates as the way things go for you pal you just know your mrs is going to ring you when you are not sober and things will kick off!!

Have a great weekend with the parents

All the best pal

Stumper

Thanks lindy,stumper and viggo...yesterday was a cracking day few beers and a good old laugh with the lads until i bumped into a lad who i hadnt seen for a long time and made comment that my shirt i had on was years out of date...i hadnt worn it in long time and thought it be a change but that comment certainly knocked the wind oot my sails (ave never been the most confident of people ) 🙁 then when i came back to my flat i was miserable again ( im better than this ) ...today like i said is another day and finances are poor yet again so for the next 27 days its back to basics of necessity foods only i.e bread milk tins soup cereal etc...ive been in scotland at my parents all day as a certain female aquaintance wasnt well so cancelled the visit...i know they bitterly disappointed i did say for them to still come down but they couldn't see point if not seein kids and they said there be other times....i really am sad for them as well as feeling their pain myself.,i took them out a nice wee run in there car as a tiny consolation...anyway s they dropped me off at station tonight and last thing my mother said was chin up.,i kept it together but nearly burst into tears...sorry folks am just feeling sorry for myself and need a kick up the a r s e tonight...tomorrow al find the strength to give you all my 100 % support but at this moment finding it very difficult to post anything positive...maybe its gambling withdrawal symptoms but can assure you today i did not bet tomorrow i wont bet,we can do this my friends 😉

Hey wp,try to cheer up,i can totally understand how your feeling mate,at least you spent some time up home and i'm sure you were happy to see your mum and dad (and vice versa)........,regarding your (so called) mate making a comment about your shirt,f**k him,he must have a brain the size of a gnats c**k to say something so hurtful and pointless!!!,it would have annoyed me as well.

You are doing great wp in very difficult circumstances,it will come good for you in time,maybe longer than you would like,but it will happen.

Your friend,

Seano.

Hi Winning,

Hope you are ok?

I read what that guy said about your shirt......"vintage" clothing is in now. Ignore the stupid fool Winning. I remember what my Ma used to say to me..."If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all". Tell me who he is and I'll punch his lights out..ha ha.

You keep going Winning, you are doing incredibly well negotiating all these hurdles.

Jas xx

Post--deep breath. Right first this shirt thing---having somebody taking the mick out of you shirt is still better than losing the shirt of your back!! I have a friend over in Ireland who like me revels in people taking the pee out of the shirts we wear---it means that they are noticing you and are bothered about you enough to pass a comment--take it as flattery or jealousy mate and not a dig at you personally.

It sounds as if you are in a bit of a down period at the moment mate and sometimes we tend to exaggerate both lows and highs when we are in such a state of mind. I know I was the Midlands area champion for many years at turning molehills into mountains and usually when I was in a better frame of mind I could look back and realise that things were not quite as important or as large as I thought they were at the time.

The most important thing for you is that you did not do what you would have done a few short months ago--have a gamble to get away from a situation.

Make sure that guard of yours remains up mate and believe that better times are just around the corner.

All the best pal

Stumper

Thanks seano,stumper,jasmine and ade...stumper youve mentioned that before on my diary...maybe your right..maybe i am making mountains out of molehills but when your down your down mate.the slightest thing can make you angry and on edge...thing is ive never been the most confident of people...deep down im very shy...when i met my ex i was never the most fashionable person but she changed me to be confident and wear all the latest gear.mind i havent clue about fashions and she would always say what suited my complexion and what didnt..she would want and still does want the best for everybody especially the bairns,which i agree with...maybe its time for me to sit back and be me again...i do have a sense of humour and like a laugh but like i say am very shy....i havent bothered tryin to contact her today maybe she needs time out says she not well so ave left it at that.,have offered to put her feet up buy why change habit of lifetime now she said.,ffs i am tryin to change for the better...one things for sure am at the very bottom again in tryin to win them back...maybe its just never going to work and ive got to get that into my thick skull but its incredibly difficult...sorry for this useless ramble AAGGGGHHHHHHH! !!!! Thats better,today i did not bet tomorrow i wont bet we can do this my friends 🙂

Hi wp,

I can totally relate to being so easily hurt - I am terrible! Never did have a very thick skin. Im not surprised you felt a bit off-balance after that stupid comment.

Thing is, he probably regretted it as soon as he said it, thinking what was that for? but you cant take things back once they have been said. He is maybe one of these people who gets nervous talking to people and blurts stupid things out, out of nervousness. I have done that before in my time.

you are doing fantastically, and remember - gambling cant take our pain or problems away. It just presses 'pause' for a while. From reading your diary, you seem to feel a lot of frustration and difficult emotions, so kudos for living with these without resorting to gambling.

I gambled today, and now am just thinking how stupid it was, and feeling ashamed. it was not worth it at all.

Anyway, hang in there bud - Im back on the wagon with you!

f x

Your 'rambles' are never useless mate.Probably it is part of being a gambler that depression effects us quite hard at times. I have had a chat with Seano about it as we are both sufferers as you know. Bit of a chicken and egg thing gambling/depression??

Being shy-if you are-is part of you mate and probably will not change. You certainly hide it well with your outgoing posts. Your sense of humour always shines through though.

wp,your no different to lots of us mate,i think most CG's are loners ,and shy deep down......,i can appear very confident and outgoing in social situations,but it's all a front, most of the time inside i'm in turmoil!!!.And i can be very hurt by what most people would regard as nothing worth bothering about!!!.

Seano.

Hi wp,

I really do understand how you felt at the comments made by that person! I am shy and find it hard to make conversation when in groups and been softly spoken (quiet!!) sometimes i speak and no one hears me!!

I too recieved an unkind comment when i was out but instead of getting hurt like usuall my little voice in my head told me "you havent gambled for nearly 50 days you are really strong!!" and i replied to the rude person "thank you for your comments but to the people that matter i am a star and you are...??" i dont know where it came from (could have been the pop!!) anyway i felt quite good that i didnt let it get to me. Some people can only find bad things to say they would be better off (and we would) if they said nothing, thats their problem.

It hurts more because you try to find nice things to say, ultimately though you are the better person.

So tomorrow is a new day and we will forget about that rubbish and we will not gamble and we are stars!!!

love linda x x

Hi wp

Some great replies to you there m8.

You have a great determination within you and i believe that you will win back you ex.After all when she wants space you give it her and when she wants you to have the kids when it suits her you also go along with itThe main thing is kid Keep being a good father.All the best Jeff.

Hey wp,

Thanks for your post mate, but I think you've been getting the short end of the stick out of the both of us recently.

Well do I know what it is to get somebody make a comment, and it sticks in your head for ages. For me, it isn't usually the blatant P**s-taking that usually goes in a group of lads, it's the smaller stuff that I might even have interpreted in a certain way that I think about, and trying to figure out what is meant by it. As seanostars said, as CG's I think many of us are loners and shy by nature, and confidence is vital to everyone.

I'm sure it'll swing back to the better for you soon enough.

Ryan

Hi wp,

Just to say thanks for your input, and hope you are feeling good today! 🙂

Its heartening to hear that most of us CGs are sensitive and lacking in confidence - on here, I always feel people will understand me.

Take care,

f x