My diary

7 Posts
4 Users
0 Reactions
1,480 Views
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

I started one of these about a month ago. And didn't continue because i thought i was over it. but this time i will be serious about this and must change for myself. People are noticing my mood swings. So here is what happened early April i lost almost a months wage in under a week gambling. Stopped for 3 weeks give or take a day. Then i see a casino bonus online for signing up so i did that and won 2 days wages in 10 minutes. Happy with myself cashed it out and treated myself and my savings which where badly damaged from my last stint. So a couple of days later stepped foot in the casino and won again this time another 2 days worth of wages in 1 hour. Over the moon left up money. Then later that night gambled again lost 350 and clawed it all back plus another 150 on top of that. I couldn't believe my luck i was up almost 2 weeks worth of work and kept treating myself and my savings. Then this past weekend on Thursday i went on a big night out with friends and spent way to much money. The next day i thought to myself doesn't matter i will just win it back later. Later that night i was at my girlfriends while her and her family where upstairs getting ready for a party we was going. I flicked on the roulette on sky and put 100 into my account. I thought ill try 50 on black and if it doesn't come in i can just use the other 50 win it back.Bearing in mind they would go absolutely crazy if they see me because they know how bad my gambling can be. Well as the story goes i didn't win and put in another 100 by now they was downstairs having drinks trying to talk to me. I was just lost in a maze how could i lose 100 like that. So i put 100 on black on my phone again and nope nothing by now i am nearly in tears that's a weeks worth of work for me. Then deposited 50 more and doubled it to 100. At the party i was still on it when know one was there to look at me and sneaking into the toilet to gamble. I stopped with 120 and enjoyed the night. Next day woke up and the chase was on almost immediately after opening my eyes. Clawed it all the way up to 200 and cashed it out. Then later that night while i was watching a movie with my girlfriend i laid at the other end of the bed so she couldn't see and cancelled the withdraw kept gambling and won another 100 while clicking off the page and being sneaky every time she looked at me. So now i was actually up money and cash out 200 again. And turned the Other 100 into 200 still didn't stop and kept playing all through Sunday as well. Just go up and down though. Then last night i don't think i have ever had it this bad the urge to gamble was unbelievable i dropped my girlfriend and on the way home while driving i am betting on roulette while driving !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then as any gambler reading knows what happens next. 4 hours of gambling i am up a measly 15 so thought might as well do 1 big bet then sleep. Then lost , lost, lost ,lost. I Lost 250 in 5 spins then lost another 200 out of my account. Then took a short term loan and put 150 on black won. Completely over the moon stuck 200 on black and lost then the last 100 gone. I didn't sleep a wink last night i was up literally all night thinking about the 700 i lost. But i have woke up today and it is time to turn over a new leaf this gambling has messed me up since i was 11 playing fruit machines. i am sick of this d**n feeling. So this is day 1 and i will update this most days and track my progress.

 
Posted : 22nd April 2014 6:14 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi George,

Welcome back to the forum.

Sounds like a bad gambling cycle you got yourself into.

If you truly want to finish this once and for all, you need to forget about the 700 you lost. It's gone, and you won't see it again.

Just think about all that time you spent obsessing over a roulette wheel, even when you were at a party with your girlfriend - it's mad isn't it? It just takes control of your life and everything in it.

I have done the same as you, I had lost the value of money. In the past I preferred to go to the casino and lose 500 on roulette and slots than to go away for the weekend with my girlfriend. When I did go away with the girlfriend, I managed to get ourselves into the casino anyway, it's mad.

Good luck on your path, I'll be keeping an eye out for your updates - I hope they're regular.

Cheers,

iAN

 
Posted : 22nd April 2014 6:33 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

hi George I have lost thousands in roughly 18 months , I will not go there again, im nearly on a month without gambling which since I started is about the most I have gone , I have almost forgotton about my gambling past the last few weeks , but its weird its like my brain, this drug , this addiction , my body or whatever it is remembers whats the longest I have gone without gambling and has suddenly ever since the start of the bank holiday until now giving me the craving to gamble , I will not though I will win this time and beat this craving. we together can do it , I have destroyed my debit card and although difficult not having one using cheque books ect... using cash instead but being carefull not to carry too much cash so I cannot gamble with cash aswell , this has really helped with stopping me gambling , I would suggest you self exclude like myself if you have not already done so ontop also destroy your debit card or give it to somebody to look after , this will prevent online gambling , sounds exstreme and childish but if this is what I have to do to beat this bloody thing then that is what I will do , go beat this habbit be strong , simon

 
Posted : 22nd April 2014 7:02 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Thanks very much for the replies. Currently have no urges to gamble but I've done 2 weeks quite comfortably before. It's usually when I let my guard down and feel I can control it. Hopefully it helps I am going to post a couple of my stories with gambling just to read back and remind myself what it has done. So keep eyes out.

 
Posted : 23rd April 2014 1:42 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 
 
Posted : 23rd April 2014 1:57 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Ok so this was two and a half years ago and now I could do with this forum. I didn't place a bet for 2 whole years and then I went down the pub one evening and then went home i had a urge to do onlin roulette and won 4 digits off £50 and then as everyone would know that's where t started. To be fair I haven't lost loads. But the amount of times I've chased recently and got lucky is disgusting. Praying my 2 best numbers to just break even. But then I've come to the conclusion if I stopped now I would never have this feeling again. ( I won £60 today and now I'm laying in bed down £400) it's vile I'm only 22 and was talking to someone today who earns almost 7 digits a year but he said as his wage went higher as he got higher in work his betts got bigger. It just made me think w*f you can't win I don't have he personality like my dad to bet £5 lose and leave it so a total miss is needed. Thanks everyone

 
Posted : 2nd July 2016 9:01 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 6210
Admin
 

Welcome back George. Sorry you're still struggling. Time to put some blocks in place maybe, so you can't gamble online? And there's a lot of treatment options out there - face to face counselling, online counselling, Gamblers Anonymous. Feel free to give us a call on the helpline or Netline - details at the top of the page.

Take care and keep posting George,

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 3rd July 2016 3:39 pm

We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.

Find out more
Close