Day 107 - 23/4/17
Still gf although still tempted. Paige's birthday today. Can't believe she is 2 already
Day 114 - 30/4/17
Feeling tempted lately. OH been gambling and winning. Not helping the urges
He might have been gambling but he won't have been winning. What he was actually doing is using. It doesn't follow that you also have to use and if you do that's your choice for which you are responsible.
You got very upset when the obvious was pointed out to you a few months ago. You've since built up a decent run of days but you're still leaving yourself and Paige in a situation where substantive change is very difficult.
Even at 2, kids know what's going on, they copy their parents and learn from their example. But they don't get to make their own choices.
You can break the cycle, make things better for your family, you can take the help and support that's out there. It's doable. But maybe not your way, others find that it takes more tools.
CW
Day 115 - 1/5/17
Still feeling really tempted. I 'miss' the buzz. Ridiculous really but just being honest.
Still feeling tempted
None of us are here to tell each other what to do, and/or how to live their lives. So I am not going to start.
However, can I just say I think if you make a committment to being Gamble free and seeking a better life for you and your daughter, then you can do it. You know that your a Compulsive Gambler, so no matter what you win, it will go straight back again, so what is the point. I am sure you sat looking at your other half 'winning' and thinking how easy it is. He isn't in fact winning, he may have a loan off a few bob off the gambling sites, but it will eventually go back. What has to change wantstostop. At the moment typing on your diary reads like someone that wants to gamble, and is waiting on someone to tell them that they can. If your tempted, gamble, you know where it is going, you know the trap that it is, and how hard it is to get out of it, but it takes more effort then go ahead and do it. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I am just responding to your comment.
Julie
Day 116 - 2/5/17
Had lots of thoughts today to gamble. Yes it would be much easier to do it and gamble. I know what your saying and it makes no sense that I want to gamble. That's the addiction
Day 117 - 3/5/17
Really thought I was going to give in last night. Stayed strong and glad I didn't
Day 118 - 4/5/17
Lying in bed wanting to gamble so came on here. Why is it so hard lately! Been doing a lot of online shopping tonight to stop the gambling. Go to sleep!
Long day. Didn't gamble last night/this morning. Went to sleep
Must stay strong x
Day 122 - 8/5/17
Still been having urges but less the last few days. OH spent his 'winnings'
Day 125 - 11/5/17
Had a really s**t day today. Felt like I was going to breakdown. Then I did the unthinkable. Wasted £320 :/ feel stupid
Hi chick
Sorry I have been distant lately. I actually did axactly the same as you just a few days before, less £20. U may have noticed I reset counter but not feeling much like posting anymore as it's a reminder, become a chore with the robot I and fear the negative feedback which just makes me feel worse and counter productive.
Maybe you're reasons are not for the same but however you are coping right now please know that I will never judge you and have faith that you are strong enough to come out of the other side of this eventually.
OH recently got completely caught out by the fam and myself and has agreed to go to meetings. He did first one last week. It's a start but kics up a load and of other feelings and new dynamics!?!
I've gone back to counselling which is so helpful for me as it was before. Maybe you could look in to it again. Best thing is, it's free!! 🙂
Only suggestion and no matter what I know you are strong, as you are still counting the days that you are not giving up on giving up xxx
Ta ta for now
I recommend counselling strongly. I was and thought i could take on the world thinking i can sort myself out. But went i hit rock bottom....i had to see councelling and talk about and finally found out what my issues what. I used Gambling as an escape to world...ie my problems and think if i win...this Will resolve everything how naive. I dont have the urge but i do have low mood time to time hence log myself in here. Its my day 225 gf. Wish you guys all the best x
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
