My Diary - Getting myself out of this rut

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Potnoodle
(@potnoodle)
Posts: 23
Topic starter
 

Good morning all,

I am a compulsive gambler, with FOBT slots being my poison. I rarely go to the bookies, the vast majority of my gambling is done at motorway service stations.

I am reasonably fortunate in that I have a decent job, although I have been stupid enough to get myself into all sorts of short term high cost debt. In addition I have a number of credit cards that are pretty much maxed to the limit. Current debt total is circa £8000, all through gambling. I have a plan and a budget to get the majority of this paid back in 2017.... but only if I don't gamble.

As stated above, I don't gamble online (apart from the annual Grand National, account now self excluded), and very rarely went to the bookies, although I have self excluded to be sure. My biggest issue is service stations, where I am a random stranger ploughing hundreds of pounds into a machine in order to win a fraction of my losses.... it's absolute craziness.

I would class myself as a reasonably intelligent chap, with a loving family, decent house (although rented), with great prospects. I just can't understand why I gamble, I don't enjoy it, indeed it stresses me out, why would I choose to do something that makes me poor and unhappy, and only when on the road?? I don't get urges to gamble at any other time!

So today isn't day one... it's actually day 22, but today is my first business trip of the year, which means the potential of service stations. I will do my best to remove the temptation by visiting the petrol stations and not the rest areas, however, not all of them have toilets or decent food and drink. So secondary tactic is to place my wallet in the glovebox and take £10 in with me to buy my coffee/lunch.

These may seem like random ramblings, but I needed to write this down to give myself more reason to stick to it, I love my family and they deserve the very best version of me, time to get on top of gambling and ensure it only affects my history and not my future.

Speak soon,

 
Posted : 10th January 2017 6:22 am
Loxxie
(@loxxie)
Posts: 1838
 

Welcome pot. ...
And well done for coming here..and for thinking about how you can change things.....leaving your wallet in the car....great
idea...take each day at a time...so ...say..right ..I'm not playing machines at this stop. .then same again each time....it seems more managble when you break it down to smaller goals...if that makes sense lol
No new marathon runner starts of doing 26k straight away. ..
Little steps .....1st service station.2nd service station.....and so on....
Wish you well....drive carefully..

 
Posted : 10th January 2017 9:16 am
Potnoodle
(@potnoodle)
Posts: 23
Topic starter
 

So yesterday I achieved what I set out to do. Complete a business trip without gambling.

I am so so proud of myself, but there will be harder times ahead.

 
Posted : 11th January 2017 1:08 pm
Potnoodle
(@potnoodle)
Posts: 23
Topic starter
 

Day 28 of not gambling.

They say it takes 21 days to either form or break a habit. All compulsive gamblers know that this is not true in our situations. No amount of days will cure us, but if you are on Day 1 I can assure you that it does get slightly easier.

I have a busy week, with a few nights away from home. I've planned my routes so that I only stop at service stations with large enough petrol station to fulfill my requirements, it seems crazy in my rational mind that I find it difficult to walk past these gambling areas without wanting to go in.... but gambling doesn't talk to our rational minds... it talks to the greedy and easily convinced side of the brain.

This weekend I took some further action in respect of my debts. I've set a new budget to get my high interest debts paid within 6 months, then I'll start to pay the less costly debt.

In addition to this I've committed to a holiday with the family. I'm not going to have the odd £50 to play with, burning a hole in my pocket. I've got another £2500 to pay within the next 6 months, so need to focus on this rather than how much spare cash I can gamble away.

Whilst doing the budget, I also estimated what I lost last year.... I reckon I gambled around £8000!! Yes I had some nice wins, but we all know that sooner or later the luck runs out and slowly and surely it all goes back in.

Have a good day all,

See you at the pool bar!

 
Posted : 16th January 2017 5:44 am

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