Good evening, today is my first day without having a bet for about 15 years. I am now at the point in my life if I don't quit I will end up losing everything that is dear to me. This addiction has cost me a lot of money over the years which I don't even want to think about right now. I have self excluded from all sites and installed a blocker on the computer.
Feel terrrible right now probably due to my own self realisation at how stupid I have been.
I intend to use this diary to keep my focus and take one day a time.
Cheers
Hi elemental and welcome to recovery diaries.
I am glad you admitted to yourself you have a problem and that's the first step in recovery.
Good to hear you self excluded from sites and put blocks on your computer. Willpower alone is not enough and you need to use as much blocks as you can.
Share your problems with someone you can trust, don't suffer alone. I know it's hard but support is out there .
Contact GC, they offer free counselling in your area also, keep reading and writing on here. Anything what helps.
Lastly - recovery is possible..not an easy road but it always gets better after feeling worse. You can do it and you will if you give your 100% to abstaining and maintaining.
Wish you well, keep posting..you're in the right place amongst souls who understands what you're going through.
Sandra.x
Sandra, many thanks for your comments, I am sure there will be a number of hurdles to overcome on this journey. My partner is aware of my problem just not the full extent of the money involved. I am confident I can beat this.
Day 2
Well managed day 2 without a bet which for a Sunday is not easy, lots of football, golf and tennis on the go. Went to play golf and found I wasn't interested in scores etc. which is unusual. Still think about gambling most of the time but I am committed to one day at a time!
Well done on two days... weekends are tough so I've you've got through today then you should fly through the week! Good luck.
Well done and keep battling
If you keep away from the first bet harder to place the second
Tri
Day 3
Thanks for the comments really appreciated. No bets today, some thoughts but fairly minor as I am determined to see this through. It is time to focus on the future as I cannot undo the past. Onwards and upwards, one day at a time.
Day 4
Another day under the belt almost, some very slight thoughts about a bet but keeping them to the back of my mind. Lots of football on tonight but no real temptation. At least I am not adding to the debt and can no start to focus on getting it down. Good luck to everyone trying to abstain. It can be done one day at a time.
Day 5
Another day another dollar saved, kept quite busy today and no real urges so hopefully thats a good sign. Will reward myself if I make it to 7 days. Good luck to all, one day at a time.
Well done on the big 5! Next milestone is a week and then 10 days and then onward and upwards. It's such a great feeling when stop gambling. Keep going!
Thanks for that Change, strangely I do feel better already, this is my first real attempt to stop so I will not be complacent and hopefully have everything in place to combat any urges. I will not gamble today.
Day 6
All good today, no particular urges and kept myself busy. Still concerned about the debt but fortunately it is manageable and should now start to go down not up (circa 20k). Pay day tomorrow but no plans or opportunities to gamble. Taking it nice and steady one day at a time and today I will not gamble. To everyone else believe and keep strong.
Day 7
Another day gamble free which I am happy with given that it's pay day. Put a lump into the overdraft and just over the minimum on the credit cards. No real thoughts today been busy. Onwards and upwards.
Day 8
Another day gamble free feeling quite please so far. Dropped my computer last night so had to buy a new one today which I can do without. At least this computer will have no reference to gambling and it can be my treat for being 8 days gamble free. Good luck all.
Well done on 8 days and sorry to here about the computer... well done on just dismissing it as bad luck and moving on.
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