So that’s it, I feel like I have hit rock bottom - my gambling is out of control, and those around me are suffering. It’s time to take action & stop now, before I fall down the rabbit hole.
My debt is serviceable, my bills are all paid, i’m not behind on anything, but, i’m Not living the life I want. I must spend £1k a month on this horrible habit ... money that could go on things for the house, or things for my daughter.
my goal is to get through 1 day, just 1 day, then another & then another.
I feel ashamed, embarrassed, weak, and stressed - I don’t want to feel this way anymore.
Hi Horall
Welcome to GC! You have made massive step forward in admitting you have a problem and posting on here.
Most importantly, stay true to yourself. Accept that you (same as all of us on here) cannot gamble responsibly....we simply cannot stop once we start.
Put blocks in place. I installed GamBan only for £11 for yearly license. Very easy app and seems to do it's job when urges arise. If ypu gamble in outside establishments, please self exclude! This way you will block tge avenues for self destruction. GC also offers free counselling sessions (also for relatives of a gambler if needed) and of course there is 3D support as GA. Meetings are all over the country and you can choose what suits you the best.
Most importantly - you're not alone! Things do get better in time..You have found strength to come here and ask for help and you more than capable to accept that support and help and start creating new future ahead of you.
Anything is possible. Be true to yourself and keep winning one day at a Time!
Keep posting ☺
S&B
Only half a day in, and I’m fighting the urge. Sat at work, on a break, and I want to deposit ... just to see if I can win back the money I lost yesterday.. it’s lunacy. The rational part of my brain is telling me not to do it, but the irrational bit is almost out of control with it. I can’t try to win the losses back anyway, as I have excluded from that site... and what’s the point? Even when I win, I just spend it trying to win more ...
glad I can write my feelings down here, because it’s hard !
1 day GF
Delighted to have made it through Day 1 without gambling. It was really tempting at times, but I came on here and read other users stories, and that gave me enough to keep going. I think I need to make a note of the times when I am most tempted, and see if there is any kind of common thread. I know that there are hard times to come, but every day counts
2 Days GF
Forgot to write this last night ... I was so tired I just fell asleep.
Managed to negotiate yesterday successfully ... I hairdos thought about gambling at all, I think mainly because I was so busy . I did lots of housework before setting off for work (a time that I would normally be on the slots). Had a busy work day, and went to a training session at lunch (again a danger time); then it was straight from Work to a parents evening. I didn’ Have the time to think about gambling.
Feels good to have done another day
Just got the courage up to look at my bank account ... horrible, but I feel better for doing it. I have spent £750 over the past 10 days, on online slots - feels so shameful. My bills are all paid, which is good ... but no money for anything extra, it will be another month of scrimping around. I am paid £56k a year, but this habit has left me broke. The next 12 months are all about sorting my finances out, I want next christmas to be fabulous, and that’s only happening if I stop the gambling
3 days gf
Today I had these massive urges to get back onto the online slots ... was thinking to myself that I could win this time & pay of my debts. Honestly I was almost shaking... then I thought of the forum & all the stories I have read, and I didn’t do it. I took the advice & found something to keep me busy until the urges passed.
I did a bit of browsing on the internet for Christmas Presents. Oddly enough my husband said I seemed distracted this evening .. maybr because I was trying to keep busy. Sometimes I think he suspects what’s been going on.
Hoping to stay strong tomorrow
So mad with myself ... Friday Night, bit bored ... ended up back online. Not a huge amount spent, and I’ve stopped rather than constantly reloading, but still annoyed. It scares me slightly as well, as I found the urges overwhelming. Back to the start tomorrow
That was a tough weekend ... temptation got the better of me - nothing too dramatic, but it made me realise what a grip this addiction has. Starting afresh this morning .. with a new determination
Hi Horall
Sorry to hear the temptation got to you over the weekend but glad to hear you are starting afresh with determination.
Have you considered any further blocks to break the time-money-location triangle to help when the urges do arise?
Good luck, you can do this because it is 100% in your control.
Muststop123
Thanks for that - feeling more positive this week
day 1 GF over, no real urges ... first goal is to make it to the weekend
Odd how those instrusive thoughts just flash up ... ignoring them, just makes me realise how much time I was wasting with slots. Just done my Tesco Christmas order, which I will be able to afford, with no worries, as I’m not going to gamble any more money away
Keep going Horall, it does get easier with each passing day.
I went for quite a while not breaking the triangle which muststop123 talks about above. It was time wasted and yet more money lost. Breaking the triangle helps to take away the temptation therefore making stopping easier.
With the amount of spare cash you have a month you should be able to do lots of fab things. Why not plan a few things in your head for 2018? That would give you something to look forward to and you'd feel you're getting something for your money, rather than just giving it to someone else to benefit from all your hard work.
You can do this! x
Thanks Little Miss Lost, good advice
2 days GF, and feeling good ... some slight temptations, but, i’ve downloaded loads of “time waster” games to my iPad, so instead of playing I spend 5 minutes matching tiles in Majong, or colours in another game ... and by the time I have done, th3 craving has last. Fingers crossed for another good day
3 days GF, and still feeling fine. The slots still pop into my head on a regular basis, but when thr6 do I just go onto my iPad & match some tiles, or do a couple of word searches ... keeping my mind active until the urge passes. Woke up in the night worrying about money, I can afford to service my debt, but want to pay it down, so in the new year l’ll need to work out a plan. So annoyed to have got my self into this position, as others say .. the money has gone, no point thinking about getting it back
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