My Diary - small steps to recovery

Thanks Martin, Craig and thomso

You're words have been an inspiration. Small steps .....getting there, I haven't gambled and will not gamble. Been trying to get over urges. This online gambling is the worst thing introduced and I do know we have our choice of to go or not into the sites but they are designed to be addictive. After been 20 years clean from slots In arcades and bingo halls I am disgusted and disappointed at myself for going this way. My life had changed dramatically 20 years ago, when I stopped gambling I was happy, living a life that fulfilled me. I'm still v happy in my personal life but fate has dealt mean cruel hand in health. Without going into detail life is hell most of the time. When I found online slots it gave me a release that I hadn't had for the last number of years since my health deteriorated. I need to beat this addition as I cannot afford to lose any of the monies that will have to do us for the remainder of our lives. Keep being strong everyone , together we can do this. Thanks for your support.

Mo

I have not and will not gamble today

Mo

Hey Mo. One step at a time. One day at a time. Keep on going!!

Thanks Martin for your support. I'm still hanging in, I have not and will not gamble today.

Mo

Still small steps, I have not gambled and will not gamble today.

Mo

Am keeping going small steps at a time. I have not and will not gamble today.

Mo

Feeling very alone in this fight against addiction. Here is on logged onto a forum but I believe the way it is set up is leaving some ( me) closed off from others ...or many be it'd just that my story isn't interesting enough. It just helps so much when you get an interjection into your diary from someone who understands.

I have not and will not gamble today

Mo

Small step back last night and tonight, need to get my act back in gear before it goes pear shaped again.

Mo

Hi Mo.

Sorry to hear you've had a small setback. What do you think triggered it off? Was it online?

Think positive.

Hi mo this is all new to me just thought I'd drop in and say keep up those baby steps early days thinking of you and you can do this stay strong hitthefanx

Hi Martin & hitthefan, thanks for words of support. Yeh Martin it was online. I don't know where it sprung from as I was feeling very positive and wasn't actually thinking of gambling at all,then at 4am (when I couldn't sleep - nights are tough for me due to disability) I opened a new account, deposited £10 got £30 free then proceeded to play. It wouldn't let me withdraw til I had used the bonus but eventually at 9am I withdrew £50. Then last night I thought I'll play &10, of course I lost then at 3am another £20 then it hit me I could keep going down this rocky path and next time it would be a few hundred so I self excluded for 4 weeks. I'm so ashamed of getting involved with online slots. I managed to beat an arcade addiction 20 years ago to the slot. I know I mainly played then because I wasn't happy where I was in life but things changed and I didn't look back. Don't get me wrong it wasn't easy, it took a few years but now......this online slot business is something else. Unfortunately my life has changed and I can't get out and about but I need to hit this in the head and get my act together. I have access to money and it frightens me that in a moment if madness I could easily deposit more and more. I will continue to take small steps...one day at a time to deal with this addiction. I will not gamble today and will think positively about each day. Martin and hitthefan I hope you are both coping too, we are all in this together.

Mo

Positive thoughts...small steps...I have not and will not gamble today.

Mo

Hi mo hope your ok keep up those small steps stay strong hitthefanx

Thanks hittyefan, doing well, small steps, positive steps. I have not and will not gamble today. Hope you are ok too.

Mo

Hi Mo,

Slow and steady..be kind to urself, don't look back, only ahead..it will get better dear fighter...believe in yourself

Stay safe

Day at a time

Sandra x