My gambling recovery diary

[quote=Equinox]

Well done Lisa-Bee with day 2!

Putting up Xmas decorations sounds like pure heaven compared to slot hell.

Gamban sounds great - I've just looked at the website and they have the iOS version soon which is what I need having been suckered into the world of iPads and iPhones.

Reading through happy posts like yours - when people are not gambling - helps to show gambling for the life-drain it really is and really highlights how we're so much better off without it polluting our lives.

I remember reading a post when someone said they don't want to spend Xmas day burdened by the heavy gambler's guilt and regret - and that really resounded with me. Let this Xmas be a gamble free one with a happy heart.

Happy Christmas!

Equinox

I can't agree with you enough Equinox! Gambling is a toxic addiction we have. This time last year I was deluding myself I didn't really have much of a problem with Bingo and Slots. This year I will be all too aware of the thousands I've lost and the heartache and guilt it has made me feel. No place for that c**P in my life anymore!

I really would recommend gamban it is a really useful app and you can have it across loads of devices. If you do decide to download and use it please let me know how you get on.

All the best to you and merry christmas to you too! wishing you a happy and gamble free 2018 🙂

Update

I've had a few wines, feeling chilled out and realxed. Don't have money in the bank as I have withdrawn what I have ready for my holiday next weekend. Payday is next Thursday.

Just wanted to share the messed up thought processes of an addicted gambler.

For half a second I thought:

'I can get a payday loan and use it. I have the money to pay it back'

Then I just thought w*f.

Although I am a positive person and pretty upbeat even with this addiction my brain still likes to throw random thoughts at me like this.

I am not getting a payday loan just cos I'm tipsy. I am not gambling tonight. My money I have is for my holiday and I will have an awesome time with it.

Just had to vent.

Please feel free to say if you have had that sweet sounding voice whisper to you that sure, you can have a flutter, things will be fine.

Well, they won't be. Fighting this temptation one day at a time. Day three tomorrow.

Day three. No gambling. Been busy with work, no time to dwell on gambling really. Treated myself to some new foundation and perfume today- that spare money would have gone straight to the slot machines.

Determind I am quitting this for good! 🙂

Welcome to the forums Lisa. You will find a lot of support here that’s for sure. You have took some good steps already so well done for that :). Congrats on day 3 GF. It’s good to treat yourself and makes it all the more possible to do so when we don’t give our money to these gambling sites...

Day 4

Have not thought about gambling today which is good! Did think about what I could have spent the money I have wasted on gambling but that is the beauty of hindsight I suppose!

Urgh,

Finished work, tired and bit drained. Go on Facebook and the first thing I see is a slots ad. Scroll down, more slots ads. Temptation is everywhere.

'Have a shot at winning the jackpot'

Ugh yeah right! 4 days done though. Finding it is getting a bit tougher now.

Well done Lisa, keep at it, don't let the temptations get to you.

Makes me feel sick that every advert you see for gambling is of people smiling and enjoying themselves. Gambling industry does not make its huge profits from people like that, the people they make their money from are sad despairing people.

Sky Vegas casino advert just come up on channel 4 while I write this. Blah.

Have a good night.

Hi Lisa-Bee,

well done for posting and well done for four days GF.

You can block add content on Facebook by going into settings and select 'Ad Preferences'. There you can hide ad topics. This way you can at least eliminate this particular trigger.

Wish you continued strength and focus for your recovery.

All the best,

Forum Admin

Well done Lisa, just keep going don't worry about whats gone.

"You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending"

Hi all

Day 5 done! Today has been a bit of a tough one. Been unwell and with the weather being awful just chilled at home. Really felt like gambling... But I did not. Will be a week Wednesday since I have quit. Doesn't seem like a lot but I think each day without gambling is a big achievement.

Update soon!

Day 6,

No gambling. A lot of thoughts of gambling. I even tried to download a mobile slots app but found I couldn't cause of gamban 🙂 that was a good feeling. Been thinking I am due a bit of luck as I've had a pretty crappy time of it lately. Hah. The things we think of to justify our habit.

I have turned off notifications and ads on Facebook for gambling but they are still popping up everywhere. Facebook, emails, text messages, the radio, TV.

Is it any wonder why so many problem gamblers relapse?

Gambling is literally everywhere!

These temptations are sure to pass soon. Its day 7 tomorrow and once I have attained a week of being GF the next goal is a month then two then three...

Can't give up!

Hi Lisa well done on your first 6 days gamble free. I won’t lie the first few months are hard but get through those and it will get easier every day. For those Facebook ads if you hide your age then change your age year to one under 18 years old , problem solved it’s the only way to escape them I’m afraid. But it definitely works. For your emails change your email address. Your mobile use calls blacklist as you can block unknown senders both calls and text . Unfortunately as for tv and radio there is no escape unless you watch it either recorded or on demand.

I wish you well, you can do this

Day 7 a whole week GF! 🙂

Day 8.

This time last week I barley slept I was that stressed I had lost £500 on online slots. I have finished work and today is payday. I am not even concerned about gambling today. I have packing to do for my holiday on sunday.

One day at a time! Role on 2 weeks (I am noticing it is getting tougher as the days go on, almost as if your saying to yourself well you havnt gambled in a while so its fine if you want to have a go... BUT it would never just be 'a go' people can either gamble and walk away or gamble, win, loose, chase and so on.

Cannot fall into the trap of deluding myself that I can gamble responsibly. Because I know I can't. Ugh.

Update tomorrow.

Hey Lisa,

I'm very much in the same place as you! My first payday since I started my GF period and although it's definitely a challenge to overcome, I'm feeling pretty positive.

Just keep reminding yourself of why you're here and that responsible gambling isn't something you are capable of doing and i'm sure you will stay on the wagon.

Good luck!