So, I've decided to start a diary after a couple of times in the chatroom, people have said that writing thoughts down can be very useful. Not sure how regularly I'll post but willing to try anything to help in my journey to be GAMBLE FREE.
I've been gambling for years but it only really became a problem after I got some inheritance shortly followed by an £11k win at Blackjack - seems to be how the problems for many start with a big win like that.
Now I'm in debt. I've known I had a problem for a long time, but swept it under the carpet. I avoided telling those close to me, because inside, I really didn't want to give up poker, and I couldn't see myself not playing poker (online casinos are my main downfall tho).
But now, I realise I have a problem, I want to give up and I've started counselling and told my family. I just went 11 days, but succumbed to temptation. After gambling for hours nearly every single day, 11 days is good.
I'm not going to be hard on myself (after reading and relating to many forum posts, there's a lack of self-love which I think often fuels the addiction). But gradually this year, I will start to see more and more GF runs of weeks and months. And I'll regularly be checking the chatroom and forums for inspiration. You guys with so many days GF are doing great! I will be free from the shackles soon too.
Welcome Andy.
Many people will relate to the big win being how we all started. It all seems to easy at the beginning
Sort of like a free lunch. Inevitably we pay big time for eating like pig's.
I can see you have started on the front foot and told the family. That's a very bold but wise move you're going to need their help along the way. And you're doing counselling to many members have shared how good this has been for them.
The debts will come down gradually and soon enough you will be free of them to.
Just make sure you don't add to them.
Soon enough you'll be doing great also as the day's turn to week's, months.
Just remember it's a marathon not a sprint.
All the best for now
Deano
So I'm actually on holiday in India for a few weeks. Although I'm travelling on my own, and I get the occasional night on my own in the hotel, there's so much to do and I'm having a truly relaxing and inspiring holiday, I'm not actually too worried about gambling for the next 2 weeks - I have things to do and not much freetime. Then I've booked a 7-day meditation retreat in Sri Lanka which I hope can be life changing, so there'll be no opportunity there.
I know that the really important time is when I get back to the UK, and back into routine - I'm determined that routine will not be the same one that I've had for the last 3 or 4 years. I'll do all I can to keep myself occupied in the real things in life, and not in sitting in front of a computer screen on online slots, blackjack or poker.
My family will be there to support me too, and I'm not going to let them down by falling back into gambling.
Still on Day 0, but looking forwards to notching up a good run of GF days in the near future..
Right, so Day 1 starts tomorrow. I don't want to let my family down - I don't think they have any real concept of how difficult it is to give up gambling. It should be easy right - I don't want to gamble any more so I'll give up. Might be a struggle for this week, but I'm going to stop and build up a good run of gamble free days, and get stronger by the day.
So, yesterday was pretty bad - in a way, it felt like I had to get my final gambling cravings off my chest so I can properly start anew today. So, I lost most of the money left in my account through online blackjack. But I'm paid in a couple of days, and want to make sure I'm strong for the rest of February and the whole of March (and beyond).. I'm sick of blowing most of my pay cheque within the first few days of the month and having nothing for the rest of the month. That changes now!
I'm frustrated, angry, disgusted with myself - although these are unhelpful and live is too short for negative emotions, so I'm just going to use the frustration to drive me to gamble free. Wish me luck!
Hooray - day 4 Gamble free. I got paid 2 days ago and I haven't spent it yet.
Oops - false hope. The weekend came around. I was at a loose end so I opened an online blackjack table. Thankfully no financial damage done, just the disappointment that I start day 1 again.
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