[Closed] My Last Bad Day

Thank you for the compliment Stephen. It makes me feel happy. 

Monday. 

I had a bad night last night. Couldn't sleep so the anxiety crept in. I chatted the Helpline one time and I told the lassie that I felt like I was abusing the service like using it instead of gambling. She asked me about that and then reassured me that the whole point of them being there to chat through wobbles and stuff so that was nice and I realised that it is okay to ask for help sometimes. 

Um, when I did get off to sleep I had a dreadful nightmare but I'm not gonna talk about that. It is what it is. I found it tough to get off to sleep again then remembered that gosh awful audio book about not gambling so I put that on and slept through till morning. 

Hubby let me have the bed this morning. I was really very grateful for that. At least if my mind can't rest, my body can. I did not much of ought this morning. Just relaxed and kept the mouse moving on my laptop. 

My boss messaged me at 10:55 a.m to say he had a dial-in with other heads of department at 11:00 and needed the stats for January Periods 1 & 2. I'm like really???? I told him to go away stall them by letting someone else go first in the meeting and I would do my best. I got them pulled together for 11:05. All the really important stuff anyway. One or two bits missing but given the deadline, he was very happy with what he got. 

Always good to meet or exceed the bosses expectations if you're wanting a good end-of-year discussion and payrise talk 😉 Shout out here to my chat buddies. 

I got up and had a bath. I felt better for it. I was real stanky. 

I put on my cargo jeans, a football shirt and my sky blue super dry jumper. I like this outfit. It's cute and it's my favourite colour blue 🙂

I went on chat for a spell. I missed Boo's company but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy everybody elses. I felt bad cos she popped in and out before I even said hello but she's responded to my post on her journal and all is well. So I am okay again. I do worry. 

I got a text last week saying I had an appointment at a building on the Hospital site. Just from the name of the building, I guessed it was Rheumatology and not ought else. I do have mega appointments lately. I am very grateful for the NHS. If I was an American, I would be bankrupt. 

Anyways, so Hubby decided to take me. Which is nice. He drove. I checked in and got directed to ground floor waiting area. When I got there, the plasma screen told me to go to floor 2 and check in there. 

I got there and the screen told me to go to the summat or other desk. I said to Hubby, this is like them books that you read as a kid and you have to roll a dice to see what page you are going to read next. It's a little adventure! Will I ever find the Rheumatology people?........

Anyways, so the desk told me to take a seat. Then some nurses called me and weighed me and did my BP. It was okay. 

Then I got called into a room to see a Nurse. Not the Consultant. That's good. Consultants are more scary. She had a blood test form waiting for me. She asked how I'd been. I was almost very honest. I told her that I haven't been taking my Methotrexate and then told her why. I said that I got told that booze and that stuff in your liver are bad and I got told not to drink on it and I've been drinking loads. Especially binge drinking on a Friday which is my Methotrexate day. I said that I got a reminder to call the Healthcare at Home people about it before Christmas but Christmas is/was a real difficult time for me so I couldn't be bothered. I told her that things have improved since then with my mental health and I am doing the right things again and want to get back on plan. 

So, she was very happy that I was honest with her cos it is a serious medication. She wants me to go back on it BUT they are gonna do fortnightly blood tests for my Liver function and c-reactive proteins and electrolytes and full blood count. I guess it's the liver part that is the main thing at the minute. 

I am not allowed to drink on the day before I take it, the day I take it or the day after. I thought it was only the day I take it. I'm a bit gutted cos I always take it Friday so I can be not sick at Football and go boozing but if I take it Friday, I can't booze on Saturdays anymore. Will have a real hard think about what day to take it but with my cleaning work, I can't afford to be sick on a weekday. This sucks majorly badly. 

Um, after the appointment I paid for parking (£3). Hubby was ranting and raving about the cost of NHS parking when I pointed out that he'd saved money by taking me. He was curious as to why. (Prolly thinking about gambling). However, I pointed out there's 4 charity shops between our house and the Hospital and there's fat chance I wouldn't have stopped in at least 2 of them on the way home. He laughed his head off. 

I did both my cleaning jobs tonight to a real good standard and now I'm watching a movie. 

I am very tired and off to bed soon. I don't spose I'll have any trouble sleeping but if I do, there's always the Allen Carr book! Two chapters and I'm out like a light! 

Hahaha

N'nite

Drama x

Tuesday. 

I went to the office today. I had a leisurely start. Stayed in bed playing on my phone and that till about 8.30. Got to the office for 9.30. I had dinner planned with a girl pal but she blobbed. I asked my mate P if he wanted to do summat but he'd made other plans already in light of me going out with someone else. 

I went to collect P for a brew this morning from my old office. They were having Drama's and someone was crying because someone disagreed with their opinion on a work thing. o*g I am so pleased to be out of that office. I am deffo happier in my current place. P can't wait to get out of it either bless him. 

We had a cuppa and a catch up. I had a 12 midday meeting with my old boss cos I asked him for some coaching on reporting methods. I'm pretty good already but there's no harm in learning some more skills and I learnt alot. 

I went for lunch at 1pm and just went round some charity shops and then got some chilli n chips from the market. I went on chat for a spell. It was real nice. 

At 2pm I had a dial in with my team. I told them about some reporting I needed to do but they were real reluctant. I am gonna do it anyway without their input but would've preferred to have their involvement. The problem with people that come from call centre backgrounds is their real suspicious of everything and don't take an overview approach to why things are being done. I will win them round when I've developed this tool and they see it highlights their strengths cos they are all really great at their jobs. They have nowt to worry about. 

I did 3 double reviews this afternoon. Not a bad afternoons work. 

I got an invite to an appointment with the Rheumatology Nurse in March so I presume my bloods came back okay from yesterday or otherwise they'd want to see me sooner. 

My Tutor from the OU called me at 5 o clock. I talked to her about how I felt about my work so far. I told her that I am absolutely still enjoying the learning experience so far but was honest in that I've struggled with the contract law element and that I'm looking forward to doing Tort cos that's my forte. She gave me some great feedback on my assignments and said that I would've got another 15 marks if I'd just fully quoted the case laws in the main body text. I thought if you put them in full in the reference box you could shorten them in the body but it's actually full citation for the first quote and THEN you can just use the claimant name. I get it now. Given how that would've boosted my score and how it's an easy fix for my next assignment, I am confident I will do much better next time. 

Um, then I went home. I took Hubby to the pub. I spent some time with 3 Professors chatting about University Challenge and my Uni work and stuff and alsorts of intelligent debate so that was nice. 

I was super late for cleaning work but I just tickled them and left early. 

I am now watching The Chase. It's my favourite show on the tellybox. 

Oh and I emailed the local NHS to give nice feedback on that Nurse yesterday and how she looked after me cos she was real nice. 

That is all. 

Drama x

Oh...and I am having fun with Hubby again. This morning he was whinging about me shutting doors and not keeping the heat in and stuff so I shut him in the bedroom and then hid on the landing behind the banister and peeped as he came outta the bedroom and giggled at him and then tonight I broke some earphones he gave me to replace mine cos I broke them and I had to tell him I'd had a boo boo and he was worried like and then we both laughed when I'd told him I'd gone through another set. It is nice that we are more back to what I'd call normal. 

We had a sword fight with some wooden kiddy swords that I bought for the dog to chew and she came and pinched them both and barked and told us off like she was telling us they are not our toys and now she's sat happily chewing them. 

I love my happy home. 

Really really that is all. 

Drama. x

That just makes me so happy! I feel exactly the same at the mo and it is just awesome!

I still expect that you will get a first in your degree. Just look at your recent feedback for a lastminute.com assignment. You have huge talent. as the saying goes, you got this!

Feel sad. Not getting outta bed. Wednesday sucks so bad. 

Posted by: DramaLlama

Feel sad. Not getting outta bed. Wednesday sucks so bad. 

Shame to read this drama, can I help at all?

Morning Drama

so sorry to read that you are feeling sad today  I hope you can get some good quality R&R today. Take good care my lovely x

Midweek bump in the road drama.. Americans call it hump day.. Realisation halfway through the week and its just a sinking feeling. At least in bed you are resting and connecting and talking it through with us.. 

Hope you feel easier soon.. Never easy is it ?

My Day. 

Mostly been miserable and sulky today. Some folks correctly guessed that it's cos of not seeing Debbie anymore but I'll get over it (eventually). 

I WFH today. I did get some work done. 3 file reviews and I created a really wicked excel sheet for my boss with formula's and stuff in it. Very good stuff. Even if my team don't want it. They will come around. 

I went on chat at lunch. It was alright. I ate a ham, cheese and tomato sandwich. 

I went to see the Doctor this aft for my MH check-up. I lied through my back teeth about how well I'm doing. He seemed really pleased and says my thought process seems alot better since counselling. Haha it shows how easy it is to fake a good mood. I am just done with appointments and stuff. He was interested in talking about my gambling. He wanted figures. He was shocked. He's like "but why?" I laughed and said that's a big question. Spent weeks talking about it with Debbie. He said it's so expensive though. I'm like yes Doc, I know that. He wants to see me again in 8 weeks. 

Maybe I'll just fake it from now on and if I just fake it long enough I might just get well anyway. 

He gimme my prescription and I put it in at the chemist but I forgot to go back before they shut. 

On the way home from the chemist, I dropped my phone on some cobbles and cracked the screen. I've done some research on fixing it and it's around £250.00 just for the glass. It's gonna have to stay broken. :'( 

I made a TV dinner. Just a minced beef hotpot with peas. Hubby enjoyed it and the dog enjoyed my leftovers. 

Moff to do cleaning now. 

Laters x

Hi Dramallama

Sorry you're not feeling so good at the moment. It is a bit worrying that you're not being honest with your doctor about how you're really feeling. If they don't know how you are, they can't help. You didn't mention why you felt it would be better to "fake it" as you say. If you don't feel like posting about this here, you'd be welcome to contact the HelpLine or NetLine to talk it through. 

Take care

Forum Admin

Posted by: Forum admin

Hi Dramallama

Sorry you're not feeling so good at the moment. It is a bit worrying that you're not being honest with your doctor about how you're really feeling. If they don't know how you are, they can't help. You didn't mention why you felt it would be better to "fake it" as you say. If you don't feel like posting about this here, you'd be welcome to contact the HelpLine or NetLine to talk it through. 

Take care

Forum Admin

@forum-admin Thanks for reaching out. I am and will be fine. x

An honest account of my day. 

I went to bed for 11pm last night and was out like a light which is nice. I slept through till when Hubby brought me my pills. I have four these days plus my once a week jab. I'll prolly be one of them old ladies with a great pill box full of stuff.....if I make it to old ladyhood. We shall see. 

Hubby shouted at me from the loft at 9am. Just the way he screamed my name made me panic and jump out of bed. It was like the shout of concern that he used to do when I gambled. All worried and like "Drama, what's that £x sum of money that came out of the bank" except he was just concerned I was gonna be late for work and I quickly realised and just shouted back that I am up and getting dressed. Total lie. I had been snoozing and enjoying it too. 

I got to work for 10am. Great ride in. I stopped off for a BLT w/cheese. 

I had Pizza for dinner and spent some time with my good pal P.

I had a good days work mostly. I enjoyed the company and support of my teammates T and K. We were bouncing and sharing ideas and getting through reviews. It was good. I have decided I'm gonna go in tommoz too cos it was so good. 

There was a blip when I checked up on some feedback I'd given where some rework was required. I found that some people had a massive email chain starting with my feedback and ultimately all these people agreed I was right BUT they attached this record to the customer file. That's not on at all. Made me mad. Imagine if the customer makes a GDPR request or the authority that overviews the work does. It's just not professional to have that sort of stuff on a customer record. I emailed my boss and told him I wasn't happy. 

I came home at 4.30. (I have some time in the bank so this is fine) I stopped in the chemist for my meds. I also picked up some folic acid. I have to have that to stop my hair falling out so it's kinda important to remember to take it. I give it to Hubby to add to my list of things to take. 

I took Hubby to the pub. He enjoyed some lad time with the teaclub. 

I went to night work after and got both jobs done in record time because I did a deep clean of one last night and today I found the top floor hadn't even been used. This is a blessing. I don't have nights like this often. 

I did a deep clean of the other so it should be easier for me tommoz. 

I went to the booze shop and bought a fridge pack. I'm gonna demolish it because I feel like it. I have mitigated the damage by buying light beer but you know, it's naughty innit? 

I'm gonna watch some telly. I have given Hubby my phone so I am safe in terms of gambling. 

Oh and I got an email from the local NHS Trust thanking me for my feedback on the Nurses at the Rheumatology Clinic and that they will share it with all concerned. So that's nice. 

G'nite Gamcare. 

Drama. 

Love you mate xx

Posted by: Murlo

Love you mate xx

I love you too. I mean that. x

You must post your veggie diet recipe sometime ?