My life with addiction

Hi Dan, stop procastinating get doing, I can see where are coming from, you have been around addication a long long time and your knowledge seems immense, probably see me as a newbie desperate for redemption. I just need to post/talk at this stage ( a very early stage of my recovery) in my attempt to recover from this devasting illness. i have read a bit of your diary before bed, and i thought thread 37 was particularly powerful. I guess i was trying to pick your brains in chat tonight, re-alising you have the knowledge, i'll pick some more of your diary up tomorrow. nite

Morning Dan , Thanks for the kind words last night they really meant a great deal :)) We've had our moments on here over the last year but that I believe was me learning to adjust to life without gambling in it , looking back I just about challenged any idea that didn't fit into my way of thinking , that combined with years of suppressed anger , well there was only ever going to fireworks , I'll hopefully continue living and learning and will remain work in progress . Hope you family situation is improving and that your well . Best wishes and I'll talk to you soon. Alan

Come join the human race.

Something my sponsor said to me hundreds of times.

Whenever I was upset with myself(or someone else), whenever I was in despair over my messy emotions, whenever I felt like a failure- in other words almost every day back then - he would say those 5 words in kindness & love.

I now understand he was teaching me that no human being is perfect & that making mistakes is part of everyday life.

Recovery doesnt mean I will always behave in an exemplary fashion.
Serenity doesnt mean I'll never get angry or upset

If I'm willing to join the human race, then I'm bound to experience my( & others) character defects.
But if I face the truth about myself with humility then when I make a mistake, I can correct it without sinking into self-blame.

In step 7, I let my Higher Power have all of me, good & bad. Thanks to my sponsor, I have learnt to accept all of me.

When I joined Gam Anon I thought... now I will be doing everything "right". The perfect mama of a gambling addict with all the answers. WRONG!! Surprise surprise ..my behaviour is often far from exemplary so permission to join the human race is a godsend. Thanks Dan!

Cathyx

Dan, the solution is not possible, I need another £K40 in savings, or to turn the clock back to 22.8.16. As we know that is impossible, there is no answer to the problem. I am going to lose my dearest, closest person to me in the world as many on here have. That doesn't make it easy to carry out and accept.

Paul you have to stop posting how much money you need it's not helping you. You have lost far more in the past and had it all back and it's never enough for you. Can't you see this mindset has you in Groundhog Day and you will never be content!! You have to take a new route and work at it. Sorry if this sounds harsh but you still have your life!!

Dan, I have had some advice on here, and sometimes it's O.K. sometimes its good, and sometimes it hit's home, three pieces tonight, deano, garydav, and you, that was a top piece of advice you gave, it made me think about the streets and the outcome of losing this home. Want to thank-you for peservering with me, i know i am at my gambling end, so maybe the pain of the addication is hurting as much as the deceipt. When you are suffering it means so much, when people like you and deano and oldham and garydav care, cheers dan, i hope you got the support i am getting

Note to self.
Must avoid the chatroom.

Why Dan?

Not enough interaction in your P**n talk?

Kidding 😉

Stay safe

S x

Ha, funny girl!

Its the hypocrisy that gets me. So i should avoid it

Appreciate your input as ever, Dan, am very tempted to wonder when you'll get your own specially designated section of the forum. However, having not wondered that, it's probably better just to let it go, the alternative does no one any favours.

All the best,

CW

My own special section!! Now thats an idea i like CW 😉

I've said the same thing to Oldham dan. I used to really enjoy chat. But it's come to a point now I can't see me going back for a while as it's the same drivel everyday. Just worded in a different way. I think a few think they didn't deserve to lose as there special and it's not in there nature. Sigh

A GA rant. If its not your thing press the back button. If it is be prepared to be offended.

Tell another secret every meeting. You have plenty of material to choose from.

This was my response to a GA member whom offered up the excuse of his meeting sometimes feeling stale & hence his drop off in attendance.

A GA meeting in my humble, should always be based in mutual sharing & vulnerability. When meetings are consumed with talk of football, where youre going on your hols, what your cat sicked up last night or how much money you coulda shoulda had, then its failing in its responsibility to its members.

Vacuous platitudes can abound in meetings ( as they do on this forum ) but there comes a time for walking the talk. People quickly learn to say the right things, but lГІok a little deeper & they very rarely carry their wise words into their own lives..

Does your meeting work the steps? Is sponsorship within your group the very foundation from which all recovery begins as in accordance with our programme?

If your meeting isnt encouraging these things, then you have to consider whether it is a GA meeting in the true sense at all.

GAs message is the 12 Steps, & GAs primary purpose is to take this message to those that still suffer. Meetings not using this at their heart are simply a bunch of folk sat talking about their gambling problems. Nothing wrong with that but its not GA.

We either live in the solution or we live with the problem. Living with the problem means your meeting will be talk of barriers, monies lost, bets wagered. Living in the solution means your meeting will be talk of, love, vulnerability,connection. Learning how to have open honest intimate human relationships. Learning how to deal with anger, fear & frustration in healthy ways.

Ive attended both types of meetings. I have seen which one works for people wishing to recover & which one leaves folk stuck in limbo with no guidance how to move on.

It is the responsibility of every member who attends the fellowship to make their meeting better. Dont settle for what you have. Strive for what it could be. Strive for what it was meant to be

Meetings, Steps, Sponsorship, Involvement. Anyone of these alone does not work, in fact usiing 2 or 3 in conjunction wiДєl make it hard. But commit to all 4. Thats GAs solution.

An interesting piece Dan. Feels like the wrong place to post, but if its helping you so be it.