My recovery diary - Last bet 18/02/2012 - Forwards and upwards

Good morning Dusty,

Thank you for checking on me. I have woken up in a half decent mood to get on with things today. The stress of sales is still there and the frustration I feel when my sales director who doesn't do any work, leaving it all to me is still there but am ready to face it head on today.

Looking forward to that phone call, want to set in stone a time and date to see someone.

Day 4 Today, I won't have a bet as I don't have any money but I wouldn't have a bet anyway, or I don't think I would off, who knows what I would do in my current frame of mind.

Have a good day yourself today Dusty and everyone else.

Andy x

andy. Glad to see you are still gamble free fella, a chap i met for the first time yesterday and upon being with for several hrs learnt of my compulsive gambling and my recovery and commented "you seem to be enjoying your recovery" and it struck me i am. I hope you are being kind to yourself and keep taking it a day at a time you will do this. Duncs stepping forward.gamble free.

Hi Duncan,

I can relate to that my friend, when I got to say 41 or 42 days, I was loving my recovery too, then around 44 or 45 days, I got a bit shaky and bottled it.

4 days gone today without a bet, Windsor evening racing starts every Monday, how I used to like evening racing in the Summer but this year I am not interested, I am going to win this battle and I will not set foot in the places.

Not heard anything regarding my councelling yet.

Thank you too Dusty for keeping a 'Beedy' on me lol

A relaxing Wilsy 🙂

Hi Wilsy,

Dont beat yourself up to much over your slip in my opinion its all part of the recovery process and there arnt many who have managed to get through from day one.

Your doing fine hun head up and be positive.

Stay Strong

E xx

Hello Elizabeth,

Thank you for your message and for caring, I will check out your diary after this, I value your advice.

I think I have now finished beating myself up, it is funny how my mind works but after 4 days without a bet, I am starting to feel stronger again, even though I feel bloody miserable but that is mainly because work is rubbish.

Been in East Sussex now for over two month, doesn't seem like my girlfriend wants me back anytime soon, she is starting to play mind games on me, either that or I am paranoid but not sure I want to go back to her anymore, I want to stay on at my mums for another month or two and then might set up on my own and move on with my future.

Don't want to blame anyone but things happen for a reason and once I get to grips with this, I might as well start a fresh and put the past behind me.

Thank you Elizabeth, take care xx

Hi wilsy

Thanks for ur support its much appreciated even more when ur goin through a tough time urself , this journey for us is a real rollercoaster of a ride , I do feel for u life can be hard at times but ur hanging in there and I'm so proud of u for that could be so easy to think negatively

Stay strong we're all here for u

Castle2

Thanks Castle, day 5 today, feel calm, finished with beating myself up and focusing on the end of the week and pay day on Monday.

Won't gamble today and have no money too but don't want to anyway.

Stress at work is at an unbearable level. I work with my sales director and I can honestly say he hasn't sold anything in nearly 3 weeks. I don't know what he does each day as we all work from home but not much I expect, really feel like telling them where to go but can't even do that because I don't know where I'll be living in the next few months. Just got to get through another day.

Have a good day everyone.

Yo,

Just checking in. Good that you feel better today , now you can focus all that energy on the positive.

Just do me a favour, do not try ringing me to sell me double glazing , I hate getting cold calls. Lol

Unless of course you are intending to try to get me buy the ultimate fishing experience , a week by a lake in the middle of no where, cool box full of choc milkshake. No one in sight , total silence. Show me the dotted line, ( just do not worry about packing the rod)

Have a good one, may all your sales be big ones.

Dusty x

DAY 6 Today

Feeling good this morning, got work to do but feel at ease. No gambling urges and no bad thoughts about the past.

Just want to begin to get on a roll again and continue each day gamble free.

Have a good day everyone.

wilsy. I am delighted to read you are looking forward my friend you seem to be getting back into your stride. Well done fella I guess it must be hard working from home with knowone looking over your shoulder but you motivate yourself well, keep making those choices andy and remember be kind to yourself you can not change the past but gamble free you will have a good say in the future. Duncs compulsive gambler no bet today. (I know it is not sales but when i think of you at work i cant help think of trading places! In a good way! ! Lol.)

Hi Duncan,

Yes mate feel much better, maybe I needed that relapse shame it was a big one but good to be back with it and have my first councelling session tomorrow at 6pm so will let you know.

Trading places ha, I wish I could trade places with you :-). Work is still tough but had a better productive day today.

Day 6 is finished with, had to borrow £20 to buy some crisps and chocolate and petrol but only off my mum, so will pay her back on Monday, when it is pay day. Hoorah!!!

Yo honey,

Quickly, pleased you got your appiontment. Be open and honest. That way you will get the most out of it.

Only saying this cause I have had counciling, and at first I was too ashamed to be totally honest.

Look forward to your post tomorrow to see how it went.

Back to homeland, sleep well too

Dusty x

Gud luck with the councilling 2mara wilsy

Hi Wilsy

Just wanted to say good luck with the councelling today. If you are open and honest, you will benefit greatly from it and then you can use it as a foundation stone to beat this thing once and for all!

Best wishes.

Thanks Dusty, Ronnie and Lostmymind, DAY 7 is going well today, work is passing by quickly, feel at ease, generally steady, looking forward to councelling at 6pm, think it will really help and I intend to be honest about everything, to get the best out of it.

No urges to gamble but not got any money so might have something to do with it but now I have almost gone a week, I don't want to throw it away and start again anyway.

Hope everyone is ok