My recovery diary - Last bet 18/02/2012 - Forwards and upwards

DAY 175

Feeling much better, know now my gramps is in a better place, free of his pain. Will get up early tomorrow to go visit my gran, spend some time with her, then go to watch the Palace game. Feel we'll lose just looking forward to getting the season started.

Will be mainly doing the house work and watching/listening to the games today.

EAGLES!!! 🙂

DAY 177

All is good really enjoyed the football yesterday and can't wait until the next home game in 2 weeks.

Jo is back at moment, got to take her to the station at half five tomorrow, she is getting a plane from Gatwick to France. Two weeks with nobody around, bliss but at the same time must behave.

Yo,

Andy sorry to read bout your grandad . Pleased that you managed to see him one last time . No regrets mate.

Well done on your 175 days . Soon to be 200 🙂

Hugs

Shiny xxxxxxx

DAY 179

Thanks so much Shiny, today I have just finished day 179 so three weeks until the big 200!

Lost a old friend today, so have two funerals to go to, over the next few weeks. Very sad.

I don't know whether you know it or not but you're an inspiration. I've been reading your diary and I have to say that you've given me hope. I hope you get to day 2000. As I was reading some of your posts, I had tears in my eyes, good luck and I wish you all the best

JJ x

DAY 182

Thank you so much JJ555 what you have said really has touched me at this sad time, I am so pleased if I am an inspiration to you, it has been an awfully difficult road and it is still littered with obstacles but I'm managing, in fact I am doing better than managing I am winning. I will never be cured but with strength hopefully I can inspire others and youself to stick in there and never give in. I personally think at the end of the day will power really is the defining factor here, blocks help and for me anti-depressants seem to have done some good.

I will of course read your own progress and post you back, you will just have to bare with me, as my head is all over the place at the moment and I'm trying to keep it all together.

Many will know I lost my granddad to cancer last Tuesday, well three days ago, I also lost one of my most influential and best friends on Wednesday of this week at 56 (suspected heart attack.) This is why I haven't posted back much and have been a bit distant. Shiny, Duncs, Castle, Feb, Tomso, JJ 555, Mr Woody and anyone else who has supported me, give me a couple of weeks to get their funerals out of the way and I'll be back posting.

Have no intentions to gamble and focusing on keeping it that way. Must get on and have a shave, smarten myself up but it is hard at moment 🙁 x

Yo,

Oh Hun , just wanted to send you message to say , just getting through the day is enough . It's tough and filled with such sadness but honestly it does ease .

You know we are here if you need us , but first and fore most look after Andy !

Shiny xxxxxxxx

Sorry about your loss, I hope that you get through it ok. Look after yourself and stay strong.

JJ xx

Sorry to hear about your sad new Wilsy. Thinking of you.

Take care.

Feb.x

DAY 186

Thanks JJ55, Shiny and Feb, I am going to post back to some others tonight, it has been far too long reading others diaries but I am spending less and less time on here nowadays as my recovery continues.

Feeling more settled now, have come to terms with my granddads and best mates sudden deaths and am preparing for their funeral, to say my goodbyes. Also looking forward to meeting up with family and friends.

Pay day is only two days away now, I am so skint. Work is going well but we are still without phone lines. Jo gets back on Tuesday and parents back in 6 weeks, I am so proud of how far I have come, I would never of normally not bet whilst being on my own for so long, this will be the first time. Continuing to take large steps towards my goal of 200 days.

Hi Andy,

Ur posts have made me smile, ur strength and determination shines thru... No matter wot life has thrown ur way... U have stayed strong and u should be so proud of urself. U struggled so much at the start and seeing u doing gr8 makes me believe it is possible. So I wanted 2 say a special thank u 2 u 2day 4 giving me hope 🙂

I hope the special memories u have of ur Grandad and ur m8 will keep u strong:)

Have a gr8 day xx

DAY 187

Thanks Charlotte, pleased my posts make you laugh.

Today has been a slow uneventful day altogether but no gambling thoughts.

Going to have an early night, roll on the football Saturday

Morning Andy

Still rolling along and pleased to read on gambling thoughts and even better on a day when not a busy on

Football today not sure who palace av but will keep a look out dot them very early days yet so wouldn't worry yet and when u get ur striker fit who's name escapes me it will get better

Something to look forward to so av a great day and enjoy st

Castle2

DAY 190

Thanks Castle for your post. I have had the best weekend, been out meeting old friends, got P***** (First time in ages), went and watched my beloved Palace beat Sunderland (We were excellent) and now just had dinner, waiting to now relax for the evening.

Only ten days away now from the big 200!

I can't believe how much I have spent this weekend and there has been the odd thought to gamble but I soon knocked them into touch.

Staying on my guard and keeping myself busy with the 'fun' things in life.

Yo,

Was a bit worried bout you with recent events in your life . But look at you , loving life ( my daughters expression)

So proud of you , as you should be yourself . As our fave chef says I my dear Andy salute you .

Shiny xxxxxx